Timelines via royal_rose_ on Reddit

To all trans men on this site, im gonna put you onto something. If you are in need of a binder but have unsupportive parents or are closeted, if you have a fondness for the ocean, or if youre bored with the normal colors of binder available, go to Waterlust and get a top

As you can see above, theyre all patterned like marine life, but theyre also reversible! One side has the pattern, the other is solid color, and they're all fun colors like blues and reds and greens, but some like the whale and tiger shark ones are more subtle grays and blacks. I have the whale shark one and the spongebob one (which was a limited run), and theyre both very well designed and printed. My spongebob one has served me for roughly four years and it hasn't worn at all.

What really matters? The binding power, and these things are great. I'm a triple D cup and with a medium I look like I have subtle pecs. They're also much less compressive than other binders due to their materials (which are mostly recycled!), so you can wear them for longer without getting sore. When I did more intensive theater and band performances, I could still act, dance, and play bari sax without getting winded or hurting myself. They're also swim tops, and I've scuba dived in these as well comfortably.

If that wasn't all, proceeds from each purchase are donated towards marine conservation and education initiatives! Purchasing shark printed ones specifically donate to shark studies and conservation orgs, parrotfish and coral prints support coral restoration initiatives, and so on. The high price tag is for a good reason.

Overall, if you're looking for an all around good binder, one that matches your whimsey and supports a good cause, Waterlust is the place to go.

Heated Rivalry (TV) detailed timeline

So I'm maybe just a liiiiiiittle obsessive, and I wanted to work out the timeline of the show, and figured I'd share it with you all. I can't quite figure out how to format this for tumblr, so I'm going to just c&p images of the tables and then dump all of it in unformatted text I guess under a read more? Please let me know if you can think of a better way for me to do this (without retyping it all!) and please let me know if you see any errors to be corrected.

ETA: I'm sorry, I added some info to ep 6 after rewatching and somehow deleted the table for ep 5? But it's back now!

Bonus: season calendar pics that are not accurate (since the

Boston/Montreal games don't line up)

Metros: 2015-2016:

Boston 2016-2017:

Hopefully some folks will find this interesting and/or a good fic resource!

The episode timelines in unformatted text:

D/s and Emotional Needs

This post is basically a transcript of a speech I give to newbies to the D/s scene all the time IRL. I figured it might be useful not only to people curious about kink IRL but also to smut writers here on the smut writing website.

For the purposes of this post, I am sending specific physical acts out of the room. Right now they don't matter, because you can meet an emotional need through any number of physical acts. So when I say that there are many ways to dom and many ways to sub, I am not referring to many kinds of physical acts. I mean that there are many emotional needs that doms and subs bring to scenes, and those can change the scene more than the choice of physical acts that will occur in that scene.

I say this to newbies to the scene because they tend to have a narrow view of the motivations and needs that bring people to D/s, biased by both the newbie's own preferences and the depictions of D/s they've seen in media. The same is true of people who write kink fic. Kink fic is very biased to a narrow subset of the wide range of emotional needs that people might bring to this kind of play.

It's really important to understand this in D/s IRL because a mismatch or miscommunication about these needs can lead to a bad scene. For example, let's take the approaches of sub-as-beloved-pet and sub-as-object. If a dom treats a sub as a beloved pet when what they really want is to be treated like an object, then a sub who went into a scene needing to be ignored, or at the very least the illusion of being ignored and disregarded, is suddenly in the spotlight of a lot of intense attention and affection. Again, I will note that both of these scenes could potentially involve the same physical acts, just approached differently. Let's say it's a service submission scene where the sub is naked and cleaning the room for the dom. Sub-as-beloved-pet would get frequent praise and lots of patiently repeated instructions, while sub-as-object would get one detailed instruction at the beginning and no reinforcement except a punishment if they get part of the instruction wrong.

I'm going to go through a bunch of different styles of dom and sub, with the emotional needs that underlie them. This list is not exhaustive. I'm sure there's more I haven't thought of or encountered, so feel free to reblog with additions. It may also be a bit dom-biased because I'm a dom, but I think that might be for the best, because the emotional needs of doms are generally less understood than those of subs.

Various consensual kinks discussed below. Kinkshamers in the notes will be blocked with extreme prejudice.

this is very useful! i'm particularly impressed by the broad range of examples given.

kink bingos tend to focus on specific (physical) acts, in the same way as kinksters often give more weight to discussing what acts should be performed than why (emotionally). i thought it'd be fun to make a kink bingo from the examples in this post (plus a couple from the notes to fill out the spare squares)!

i invite kink fic writers to use this to go wild with exploring different emotional dynamics! dealer's choice on physical acts :D (expert level: pick a single physical act and use it for all of them ;) )

Anna's Archive managed to get their hands on "86 million music files" from Spotify, "representing around 99.6% of listens" and metadata for "256 million tracks", that represents "estimated 99.9% of tracks"

I am at loss of words

I wish kinky sex ed wasn't so stigmatized even among left-leaning "sex positive" circles. Everyone's all "uwu I'm a sub I'll do anything you ask" okay mommy wants you to read The New Bottoming Book so you learn how to sub without hurting yourself since your sex ed up to this point is porn and your ex boyfriend Jared who liked to choke you incorrectly

I’m so glad you asked! Let me list off what I’ve got for you:

Books I personally recommend:

- The New Topping Book and The New Bottoming Book, by Dossie Easton and Janet W. Hardy

If you’re having kinky sex at all, you need to read at least one of these two books. Point blank. They’ll teach you the very basics of negotiating properly (which is critical!), and help you identify what you are and aren’t into.

- Mindfucking Mindfully, by Sir Ezra Where this book really shines isn’t actually in helping you “mindfuck” people, it’s in taking a close look at how to do so ethically. It’s a great answer to the question “how do I get someone to consent to something and still surprise and shock them with it?”

- Real Service by Raven Kaldera and Joshua Tenpenny This is a slightly niche pick but there simply isn’t a better book on the subject. It’s written from a 24/7 M/s perspective, which is not what I do, but the book itself is an indispensable guide to giving and receiving service. The phrase “if the Master doesn’t want it, it isn’t service” will be burned into my psyche for quite some time. I love this book a lot. Maybe my favorite out of all of these.

- Enough To Make You Blush: Exploring Erotic Humiliation, by Princess Kali This one’s high on my reading list; I’ve heard it recommended by a number of people whose opinions on these things I trust.

- Pretty Much Anything Midori Has Ever Done Midori is a great resource for this stuff - I haven’t personally read much of her work, but she’s a well known sex educator and great at what she does. She’s known for bondage, but has a lot of range beyond that.

- This Negotiations Worksheet from Bex Talks Sex This is what I default to using a lot of the time for negotiations. Forget BDSMtest, you don’t need that, it’s no good. Just look through this worksheet’s wordbank with your partner. Big fan especially of the “how do you want to feel?” section.

Books I can kind of recommend:

- The Ultimate Guide to Kink, edited by Tristan Taormino This book is weird. There’s a lot of good info for experienced players, but some of what’s written here skeeves me out. I think if I had a top that thought the way some of the tops in here think, they would not be topping me for long. But there’s some good techniques and so on to pick up that I wouldn’t have otherwise. I liked the distinction one of the authors makes between being sadistic in the sense of inflicting pain and being sadistic in the sense of doing something your sub doesn’t “enjoy.”

- The Ritual of Dominance and Submission, by David English Man, this book fucking sucks. The writing and editing are garbage, and the fear and protocol play described need way more careful negotiation than he ever lets on, let alone recommends. This is some 50 Shades bullshit. The only time I recommend this book is to tops like me who tend to be very affirming to their partners and need a guide on how to really scare them - when their partner consents and when you negotiate it, which this book sucks at teaching you. Really good content on fear, punishment, and protocol play, really terrible presentation of the topic though. Don’t read this if you don’t already know what you’re doing.

- Paradigms of Power, by Raven Kaldera I love this book. Great book. Very focused on 24/7 M/s play though, and, being an anthology, some chapters are better than others. If you can’t read something and pick out what is and isn’t for you, don’t bother. But some really great inspiration, and generally pretty well written. Big fan of the discussion of leather throughout the book.

Hope some of these are helpful for people ^-^ for the average person reading this I recommend New Bottoming/Topping, but they’re all important parts of my library and I’ve recommended all of them to friends at some point or another.

May I also suggest Hell on Wheels and Kneeling in Spirit by Raven Kaldera, d/s companion books that address kink with a disability. They're a should read for everyone, imo. You never know when you or a partner are going to have changes in your body that affect what you can physically do. Temporary illness/injury and even just age can affect your sex life.

I'd like to suggest Better Bondage for Every Body! It goes really in depth on anatomy, pain processing, self-tying, and has chapters specifically focusing on how to do rope bondage on/for someone who is disabled or has chronic pain, which was really important to me.

reblogging specifically for these last additions bc I don't think I've ever seen resources for kink w/ disability

Im pretty sure ive reblogged this before, but it's worth another reblog

I recently discovered laundry stripping and y’all, no matter how much of a crock of shit you think fast fashion is, you’re underestimating.

[image ID: a screenshot of the notes on this post, featuring several people indicating they want to know more. End ID.]

OKAY SO. You know how we talk about how one way fast fashion has made itself “necessary” is that the clothing looks like shit and feels horrible after just a few washes?

Let. Me. Tell. You. Something.

Laundry stripping is a process where you load your laundry into a tub or bin (I’ve been using my bathtub) with warm water, half a cup of borax, half a cup of washing soda, and half a cup of laundry soap (not detergent, SOAP, there’s a chemical difference). Leave it there for at least eight hours. I’ve been going for 12-24.

What you will come back to is a tub full of nearly-opaque black-gray-brown water that absolutely REEKS. This is normal. You are looking at (and smelling) hard water buildup, body sweat and oils that were embedded in the fabric, dead skin, and just regular grime.

Wring out your clothes. Throw them in the washer. (I like to do a spin-only cycle before going any further, because I have one of those washers that determines by weight how much water any given load needs.) Wash as usual.

You will notice I didn’t suggest any further pretreatment, and that’s because 1) you don’t want to layer too many chemicals on top of each other but also 2) you may not even need it.

When your clothes come out, check each one as it goes into the dryer, and if anything else s still stained, set it aside to run again with a regular pretreatment. One of the sweaters I did this with apparently did need a second treatment…to deal with what appears to have possibly been a hot chocolate stain that was previously invisible due to “well, it’s old” dinginess. I was planning to throw this sweater out. It looks almost new now. I need to wash it one more time for the probably-a-hot-chocolate stain, and then it needs to have the hem weighted to block it and bring it back to evenness, but dude. I wear my clothes to rags and I thought this thing was unfixable. “I need to reshape it” is nothing.

Remove clothes from dryer when done. Fucking MARVEL at the colors and how good the fabric feels. Give them a smell. Get righteously and royally angry that you can rejuvenate this stuff so easily, with a process that does take awhile but is 90% hands-off, but we’ve been trained to believe it’s all got to be binned once a year because discoloration and gross fabric is “normal wear and tear” and can’t be fixed.

It’s utterly unreal! I just pulled a seven-year-old work undershirt out of the dryer and this thing looks NEW!! It FEELS almost new!!! One of the shirts I hung up from the last load is older than some of the people on this site and it went from “I keep this to wear on laundry day, for sentimental reasons” to “I could actually wear this out of the house, it looks old but respectable”! The pajama bottoms I’m wearing were from Goodwill and they have BRIGHT YELLOW in them! I thought it was goldenrod!!

I do not know how often you’re supposed to do this (doing it every time can strip the dye out of your clothes, not to mention it’s way too much work to do every time), but once or twice per season seems respectable. I don’t wear white, so I can’t test the “it will make whites look almost-new as well” claim, but I’ve seen a lot of people on the cleaning subreddit attest that it works.

Just remember: WASHING soda. Not baking soda. I tried baking soda and a little bit happened, but not a lot.

Go forth. Rejuvenate your clothing. Strip your laundry.

just my humble attempt at raging against the machine

i made a follow up! if this blows up, pls remember it is illegal to be mean to me. and i am a small artist you can give money to btw ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

the physical media depicted: lucky leaves by krill, worry by jeff rosenstock, self titled by babytooth. i love to tiny doodle album covers :)

wikipedia no longer being anywhere near the top of search results when looking up anything feels eviscerating

#they really said “you can’t use wiki as an academic source-use our garbage AI that’s even less reliable”#and you can’t even opt out of it

no but you can FORCE it away. use ublock origin and copy paste the blacklist i made into the filters to be able to remove the bullshit AI overview that google forces. it also removes youtube's forced ads (at least until they fix it)

you can also use the ublacklist extension and use this blacklist of AI image generation websites to curate your google image results

there are ALWAYS ways around stuff. it's just a matter of looking into it and asking around

DO THIS IT IS SO EASY TO DO JUST DO IT

the people are divided

here you go

"i want to stop using spotify but theres no good alternatives" download ur music "every streaming service sucks what difference does it make i may as well stay" download ur music "i dont have space" buy a cheap mp3 player "i dont have money" youre paying for spotify premium, download your music "but i dont wanna stop tracking my stats" connect it to last.fm "my default music player app sucks" use an mp3 player or download one "idk how to hook up last.fm on a mobile device" there is an app but you can also use this "i cant download apps on an mp3 player" get a touchscreen one and download an apk version

There's a bunch of adhd advice out there that's like "people with adhd tend to work better under deadlines due to the anxiety so here are ways to artificially induce a stress response in order to get you to get work done" and it's like well what if I don't want to be stressed out all the time in order to function

this gold shouldn't stay in the comments

hey loves, I’ve been reading through the comments and loads of people are asking how to not fall into this pattern because that’s all they know. so, here’s some advice from Auntie Pan who’s been in the trenches (stress-caused disabilities and chronic illnesses).

context: grew up in an abusive, controlling home, escaped to uni, had a prolonged mental breakdown, became a teacher and worked in a dysfunctional school with amazing kids and nightmare management for years. I did not realise I have adhd and autism for a long time. (You might even be able to scroll back through this blog to find the time around which I did realise lol.)

ANYWAY, things that have helped me because my body can no longer handle any kind of stress without flaring up:

All of this takes time to implement and it is cumulative, but i hope it helps. Reading the comments on this post, i finally understand why adhd is comorbid with so many other conditions. let’s take care of each other <3

I'm so glad to hear that helped you!

For anybody looking for resources from someone dealing with actual ADHD, I have an incomplete but ever growing list of ADHD tips, tools, and suggestions on my website.

A lot of the pages on that site are adapted from my tumblr posts, for instance I'm adapting this post about car repair projects with ADHD into a guide on project management and completion with ADHD.

(Red links are stuff that I've got planned but haven't published for reasons that are probably clear to anyone looking for ADHD advice online)

resources for staying safe online

always important, but i feel like especially recently. particularly stuff that’s a bit more than just the usual “don’t post personal info”

feel free to share this post on twitter or anywhere else, staying safe is important

note: very slightly updated, reblog this version instead

Every now and then I see a post that reminds me that most non-kin have an idea of the otherkin community that's defined more by people who made fun of us than by our community itself

If you heard about otherkin through general tumblr osmosis but never made an effort to actually understand us, your mental image of otherkin is mostly likely informed by people who pretended to be otherkin to start drama with the express intent to get people to hate us. It was really common a while back for anti-kin to create blogs posing as otherkin and post absurd, ridiculous, and inflammatory things like "I'm plantkin and keeping houseplants is slavery" or "I'm dragonkin and I ate my mom's jewelry". If you actually knew anything about the community it was fairly easy to figure out that these blogs were trolls, but most of the people on tumblr at the time either didn't know enough to be able to tell, or didn't even consider that they might be fake

And the most upsetting part? It fucking worked. So many people still seem to think that those posts were genuine reflections of what being otherkin means and how we act or talk about our kin identities

If you want to learn what otherkin are like, outside of hatred and mockery, if you wanna see how rich an vibrant our community is, and how varied our experiences are, here's some further reading:

General info:

Therians:

Fictionkin:

Otherkin:

My own website is here; and the page that hosts all of my fictionkin- and plural-related essays is here. I am fictionkind myself, and I've got a bunch of new mutuals so here's the semi-official "please learn about actual otherkind, because what you've heard of us is likely wrong" post.

I can swear by most of these articles, there's a few I haven't read but most of them I have, and my own website links to a ton of other sites by my fellow otherkin. So there's a lot more reading than just these, but it's a good start.

Yep. I was gonna ramble in the tags but the word limit's bothering me so into a post it goes asjdjhsajk

Just thinking how it's a shame how circular this problem is, in a way. Harrassment and anti-kin sentiments make people keep their experiences to themselves, or only talk about it with the community -only referencing our kin or nonhuman experiences in kin spaces because that's the only place it's acceptable to do so. So then people don't see what we're really like because they never see us, only the people mocking us.

It works out that a lot of people know nonhumans and otherkin, but just don't know that they are such because we don't talk about it. Even for me, I don't actively hide it but I don't talk about it unless the subject comes up.

In the end, despite there being so many of us and our experiences being so diverse, the fake ideas persist just because it's not safe, generally speaking, to be open about genuine experiences to people who aren't part of the community.

But if you make yourself a safe person to talk about it with, you'd be surprised how many otherkin and nonhumans there are and how damn eager we tend to be to share these parts of ourselves!

Makes me feel like I should make more of an effort to be fully candid about myself even outside of nonhuman spaces. :P

This guy writing this is a wolf, a eusmilus, and a weird nature spirit thing! Yeah, that's me!

And I'll slap some of my own writings on here for the curious.

Reflections on the violence of predation

On being "socially nonhuman"

Musings related to nonhuman identity and candid sense of self

And my answer for the question of what it means to be therian

Welp. Google's AI horseshit has arrived. And I'm not complying. They can pry my ID out of my cold dead hands. I will simply go elsewhere. Remember folks, DO NOT GIVE THEM YOUR IDs. Do not comply. Resist, fight it, use other browsers or sources beyond youtube and google controlled services. Call them. Email them. Make noise. Fight back.

I've been using Google as my main mail service since 2006, and every single account or service I've ever signed up for was made with that address. For a long time I thought it'd be impossible to divorce myself from Google.

It took less than 5 minutes to switch to a ProtonMail account, less than 2 hours to download and/or offload every byte of data from my Google account, and less than 3 days to change every single account or service I've ever signed up for to the new address.

As of today, the only single one I have that's still tied to it is YouTube. It's the only thing I'd lose access to if I deleted my Google acount entirely.

They really, really want you to believe that it's a hassle to switch to a different email system. But it's not. Most websites and/or services allow you to change the email address associated with it.

I've been using Google for almost 2 decades and it only took a few days to move everything. It's not a painful sacrifice; it's an easy change that, frankly, has absolutely been worth it.

Proton Shoutout

You can and should switch to a free, encrypted Proton email account. You also get all of the below perks. For free. There is no trick. It is paid for by the people with paying plans. I am one of them. The (completely functional) free tier is there to entice you into getting a paid account with even more perks. (It worked on me.) But there's no penalty or pressure for staying with the free account.

Also get your stuff off the google drive and put it on Proton's drive. It is encrypted. Only you with your password can access it. Not even Proton can see what you put in there.

Switch everything away from Google. It's easy and it's important. Read above, click the link for Proton, download your gmail and switch.

im gonna put the actual meat of the post in a reblog so i can properly tag it, hold up

if you are struggling rn:

ASCA (Adult Survivors of Child Abuse) provides group meetings for adult victims both in-person and online, along with their own list of resources for child abuse victims

HAVOCA (Help for Adult Victims of Child Abuse) is a similar organization with a forum for survivors, support groups for victims, and resources to find a therapist

stop the silence is a department of the institute on violence, abuse, and trauma providing specialized programs related to CSA. they help fund training for professionals and trauma therapy. they take donations to help further their work.

psychology today has an online database of therapists, psychiatrists, and support groups within the US. you are able to filter by treatment modalities, what they specialize in, what insurance they take, etc.

RAINN has a phone, text, whatsapp, and online hotline for victims of rape, incest, and abuse. services are available in english and spanish.

FORGE has a free PDF of resources for trans victims of sexual violence

take it down is a service offered by the national center for missing and exploited children that helps victims of CSEM take down sexually explicit content of themselves produced before they were 18. stop NCII is a similar resource for adults.

the statute of limitations tracker is a free resource for CSA victims within the US who are seeking legal or civil help for their abuse

Everyone should read The Fire Next Time. I aspire to his degree of empathy and introspection. His thoughts on religion are personally resonant.

& now no one has any excuse. go read this essay, it's only 106 pages and so incredibly influential.