ra ra rasputin is objectively the funniest song ever written it's like "rasputin was an advisor to the romanovs and honestly he was a bit of a power-hungry conman (oof)... but you're not here for a history lesson! you want to know how much he fucked, don't you? well i'll tell you: he fucked. he fucked often and severely."

and it's a banger

drink a

buncha

co

dein

serve it

to the

dope

fiends

blowing

money

stay

clean

michael

jackson

billie

jean

HEATED RIVALRY ⤷ S1E2 "Olympians" | S1E4 "Rose"

requested by @saturnscode

Crazy how Ilya was like "I'm gonna casually check with him about his sexuality and real subtle like make sure he knows I've got options but I'm not seeing anyone except him" and instead what he said (and what Shane heard) was "I'm getting so much PUSSY I have casual long term flings all the time you're just one of them" and then the disconnect made them both insane

But Rozanov's chest was so warm and solid, and Shane could hear his heart beating where his ear was pressed against it. Rozanov's fingers were idly playing with his hair, making Shane sleepy and unreasonably happy.

i wanna talk about this shot

if forum signatures still existed this would be mine

God fucking damn it

and, if you can’t get toasted pearl Couscous handpicked and blessed by a Moroccan shaman on the first tuesday of the winter harvest for your Sautéed Escarole then store bought is fine

The best thick cocks and young hung studs

http://jockdays.tumblr.com/

that’s not in the recipe

at all points I was ready for him to start eating the stands

This was disturbingly normal for him

So I've got this friend whose nervous because she's trans and dating this guy who she hasn't told yet because they've only been on a two dates. For this story let's call the friend Jane and the guy she was dating Jason. Happy ending don't worry. So I tell Jane to bring her boy over to a bbq I'm having and she can tell him she's trans at my place surrounded by queer and trans people who love her and will support her if he ends up being awful. She waits till the end of the bbq to tell him the news, by which point the rest of us have learned that Jason is a kind, friendly, empathetic, hard working, dummy. So we sit down, all of us a little worried about this gym bro's reaction when she tells him she's trans, and that she understands if he doesn't want to keep dating her it's no big deal. He's baffled, so we explain what trans is, and after the disclosure that she hasn't had bottom surgery yet... "Oh you have a dick?" "... yeah." He look's around at the room full of people with baited breath, his clearly a little afraid girl friend says "Oooohhhh! I get it! You think- don't worry Babe! Watch this!"

And ya'll this man jumps up, runs into the kitchen and returns with one of the bratwurst we had for grilling and proceeds to tilt his head back, put it down his throat, hold it in his mouth for a moment, and spit it up without even a whisper of a gag and then looks around at the group absolutely beaming with pride. My mans saw his worried girlfriend and her support network and thought to him self "Oh they don't think I can please my girl but I'll show them!"

I love how it doesn't matter what expedition it is.

They all turn into excited kids when they meet penguins.

The Penguin: GIANTS! no way! I’m gonna wave at them THEY WAVED BACK! Holy Shit they’re dancing with me! My Wife is never gonna believe this OMG I got to dance with a Giant today so cool.

The Humans: Penguin! No way! I’m gonna wave at it IT WAVED BACK! Holy Shit it’s flapping with me! I got to play with a Penguin today; so cool.

i know this isn't the reguar theme of this blog but i need to share it somewhere because today someone called my local fire department because they found

a horse

and not only was it a not-dead horse, they dug it up and it was

a lil muddy, mostly

Americans invented tbe worlds burgled and burglars to apply to robberies because the concept of losing their burger is the scariest thing to them

Follow me for more wikipedia ^

This is shockingly close to the truth.

Both come from the Latin "burgus", meaning castle or fortified town. A burglar being someone who bypassed the security of fortifications.

Meanwhile burger comes via Hamburg, the burg of Hamma.

So burgers are named after fortifications, and burglars are the ones who bypass them.

The Hamburglar is a reunion of terms

official linguistics post

I think the towel may be concealing a creature, but I’m not 100% sure

This is a mimic

teef

Reblog to save a duck

Quack quack

It’s getting to be that time of year where more people are going outside to parks and stuff so i thought it would a good idea to reblog this again

Once I was feeding some ducks from a bag of birdseed I brought with me, and this woman next to me looked so confused and asked what I was feeding them

When I said it was birdseed she just went “oh- can they actually eat that? Is that safe?”

I didnt know how to respond like, at all, so I just pointed at the duck and said “bird”

She then had a look on her face like a new groove was just forcibly carved in her brain and said softly “oh my fucking god”

No this isn’t good enough…… we need the best of The Boss/The Big Man on our dashes today.

Dip the little boss Clarence

GO FOR IT OLD MEN

Oh there’s one in the middle that isn’t a smooch. Well. I guess it still works

Fine! Okay!

He was elemental in my life and losing him was like losing the rain!

the way ilya gently but firmly moves shane's hand out of the way so he can grab the back of shane's thighs and lift him up on that counter..... this has done something to my brain that cannot be undone

being in the heated rivalry fandom rn is like witnessing the olympics of gay fan fiction. authors who have been training for years in their respective fandoms all coming together to contribute some of the best work i’ve ever seen to this beautiful show. what a joy, what a privilege