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@captainadwen / captainadwen.tumblr.com

Fandoms, mostly, with a sprinkling of random thoughts
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everybody hates led headlights but it is 1000x worse when you have an old car. this is what i deal with on a daily basis

doesnt even have to be an old car actually this is just the experience you have when youre driving anything other than a giant ass suv or truck

i am once again delivering the wonderful news that if you adjust your rearview mirror away so it's pointed straight back between the front seats then most of the light will be reflected directly into the asshole driver's eyes and you'll get to watch them rage trying to swerve away from it before having to drop way back. and it is deeply satisfying.

so ummm welcome to my jar:) lemme show you around! theres some holes poked in the top so i can breathe, theres some leaves to munch on, and ive even got a twig! #mytwig

happy one year of this post. and from the bottom of my heart. i did not know what i wrought

At the end of the day Heated Rivalry is about the light.

It's Shane turning off all the lights aside from a single lamp for their first hook up, it's "You're standing in my light", it's Ilya's world going red as he sees Shane and Rose in the club, it's "Shed some light on me please", it's the tuna melts happening the first time they spend time together in the daylight, it's "He deserves sunshine and so do you", it's building a cottage that is all windows so it can be washed over by warm sun, it's the blinding spotlights they are under, it's Scott's closet opening with a bright white light in a dark room as if inviting Kip to step in, it's Shane turning on his bedside lamp as he has a literal lightbulb moment, it's the Russia phonecall happening on an afternoon for Shane and during a dark and stormy night for Ilya, it's "Give me your eyes I need sunshine", it's the long shadows of the sunset protecting their first time holding hands, it's Irina's death being told in front of a bonfire because it is Ilya's personal ghost story haunting him.

It's the road stretched in front of them, blurry, but so so bright.

i dont want to be in a fandom that critisizes the choices of fictional characters like they are human beings. i want to see THEORY and ANALYSIS and STORY STRUCTURE and CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT!! I WANT PARALLELS AND MOTIFS AND VISUAL CUES!!! They're not REAL they are TOOLS so stop acting like they are people who made bad choices and should be punished. of course they made bad choices!!! that shit is funny and cool to watch!!

My new favorite genre of picture is a very special thing that most animals (and humans!) do: face nuzzling as an act of greeting/comfort/intimacy. thank God that this is happening all over the world right now

Isn’t it wonderful?!

had to continue the compilation:

There's a lot of stuff that counts as dystopian about modern society, but one of the smaller yet insidious things I've noticed recently is the rise of companies whose entire marketing strategy is to convince you you're a burden to your friends and families.

I'm talking about that one dog watching/walking service that has a whole commercial implying that your family members secretly hate you for asking them to watch your dog to the point it counts as a modern social faux pas.

And there's this moving service commercial that I think someone else referenced in a big tweet that says something along the line of "Real adults don't ask their friends to help them move."

Like fuck that, man. You're supposed to want to watch your friends' pets, and you're supposed to want to help your friends move, and you're supposed to cook for people when they're sick, and you're supposed to show up to check on friends you haven't heard from in awhile, and you're supposed to remember your friend needs a large frying pan when you find one cheap at the thrift store and bring it to them.

One of the reasons the younger generations are so miserable and lonely is because the rise of technology and the concurrent pushing of this rhetoric that all effort is a major inconvenience, and asking someone to put in effort for you therefore makes you an inconvenience has conditioned them not to seek community.

And because they've never experienced it, they don't know that's what's missing. It's a vicious cycle because when you're depressed from lack of community, finding the energy to put in effort for other people is a lot harder than getting quick dopamine hits from scrolling on social media or watching Netflix. Then you encounter the further issue that our media glorifies romantic love to the exclusion of all else, so most of the young people I know who are lonely jump to "Well I just need a girlfriend/boyfriend/partner," and that sets up rough relationships because one person is expected to fill the void of a dozen or more friends and neighbors.

So please believe me: If you're lonely, try volunteering somewhere in the community. Try going to events around your interests. Try talking to local shop owners. Bake something and surprise a friend with it. Search for nearby clubs or intramural sports teams. There are companies literally capitalizing on subtlely encouraging you NOT to do these things. We've reached the point where helping your friend move is an anticapitalist act.

Always remember that most modern advertising is manipulating you to create a need they can sell you a solution to. They've got increasingly abusive about it. If you see an ad and it hits the same red flags as an abuser trying to isolate someone to get power over them, that company is being abusive and you need to get far away from them. The opposite is probably true.

Humans became the dominant species on earth because we cooperate and fill each other's needs even when it doesn't immediately and directly benefit us. Anyone cynically trying to convince you otherwise wants to disadvantage you to make you helpless and gain power over you. Asking for help helps others realize they can ask for help.

like sure they're not having sit down formal discussions about limits and safewords. shane would rather die than admit he has wants and needs; ilya makes everything into a joke or a game ("let's make a deal") to lessen the threat of rejection. but they've spent their entire adult lives studying each other's physicality on the ice ("you're an awesome player to watch"), competing against each other, having sex together, paying close attention, cataloguing physical tells, weaknesses, erogenous zones, preferences ("ginger ale cold enough?" + "i bought you cokes"). they've unintentionally become the world's leading experts in each other's bodies. "i think i know how the staff likes to be treated after all these years" ....yeah, yeah they do. how am i supposed to ever be Normal About Them

whoever first pointed out that ilya americanises his accent around other people but not around shane i owe you my fucking life

also the idea of like when its just the two of them ilya can like just slip back into the more comfortable rudimentary accent he had at the start of their relationship :’) and that in itself being nostalgic for shane :’)

this would also be linguistically accurate!

i speak english the most in day to day life and also think in english sometimes. my accent in english is americanized, pretty indistinguishable from a native (excluding sets of certain phonemes like /rl/) .

but if i’m really tired or spending time just around my wife (with whom i speak english), i sometimes switch to what i call ‘lazy english’.

what this usually consists of is i allow myself to speak english with the russian /r/ phoneme that is more natural for me, i drop articles, replace continuous and future tense with simple present, use the ‘….,yes?’ construct, avoid contractions (bc the verb ‘to be’ is dropped/implied in russian, so contractions aren’t always natural)

for example, when i’m in ‘lazy english’ mode, this is how my speech varies:

‘i’m making the bed’ = ‘i make bed’.

‘you’ll help me later, right?’ = ‘you help me later, yes?’ (for this one, in russian, the same phrasal construct ends with the word ‘yes’ instead of the word ‘right’)

‘can you give me a tissue?’ = can you give me tissue?’

‘where’s the pen? do you have it?’ = ‘where is pen? you have?’

if you pay attention, you’ll notice that a lot of these patterns also occur in ilya’s speech, especially earlier on. that’s why i’m particularly impressed with the writing of his dialogue — it doesn’t come across as stereotyping/caricatural because the way he speaks english is consistent with russian linguistic/grammatical rules. this is often how russian-speaking people speak english when it is their second language and they’re still learning.

i like to imagine ilya reverting to ‘lazy english’ or speaking in a similar manner to me around shane. it is linguistically consistent and a sign of comfort/deep familiarity with the person.

mold pisses me off so much

oh you have to eat your produce the moment it leaves the store or the fuckin Hungering Dust will get it. and. poison your food

I ran into this post years ago and to be honest, it has completely reoriented the way I engage with food.

Like. I’ve always sorta understood that things grow moldy or stale or sour or such if left out, but I never really internalized it in a meaningful way.

But now I’m just like.

Yeah. The hungering dust. There exists omnivorous dust in the air that will eat my food if I don’t.

Those bagels have been sitting there for a week. Are we going to eat them soon or are we leaving them for the hungering dust?

Pizza’s been sitting out on the counter for an hour. Everyone’s enjoying the pizza, but if we don’t want “everyone” to include the hungering dust then we should probably put it away soon.

That’s just. That’s how food works to me now. There exists an invisible predator in the air that hungers for your yummies, and it will not hesitate to eat your food if you don’t make the effort to protect and preserve it. And eat what can’t be preserved before the dust can.

Life-changing.

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