does it fucking kill you too? not anymore. not with my head on your chest, your hands in my hair cradling my face, your kisses pressed into my skin, lips against my forehead. not with a plan for the future for how we are going to make this work. not in this oasis of yours that you invited me into so preciously. not anymore. not with this hope. not with your love.

i saw the backcheck/backshot smash cut and said "more of that, please!" (everything is about sex except for sex which is about hockey)

they call me an undercover agent. the way i’m. under the covers :) cozy in bed :)

they call me a sleeper agent the way i. well. i shan’t say.

Dustin: My biggest talent is being stress.

Nancy: Don't you mean stressed?

Dustin: No.

Steve, tired: No.

whatever i was gonna say can't possibly be funnier than the mere existence of this draft

*right clicks on you*

*views your properties*

📦 Shipping update: we're not delivering your parcel because you are intrinsically evil

love when emails start off with “DO NOT REPLY”. like oh yeah way ahead of you brother

While we’re talking about censorship, I need everyone to stop playing this little amnesia game where we pretend not to remember what internet and fandom has looked like for the past 20 years. Weird and taboo porn has always existed, it used to be a LOT easier to access, and you won’t die if you look at it. We simply cannot continue placating the crazy mob of people who are scared of sex and love overstating harm, they’ll call you a pedophile literally no matter what, and they’ll roll around in their cognitive dissonance like a hog in mud when you point out that the other group calling you a freak and a pedo are the conservative alt right. Fucking exhausting being a fag and a pervert in 2025.

"why did you write that"

4. the character's fetish and i'm committed to portraying them with absolute accuracy

Steve and Robin, I'll always miss you.

outta my way gayboy I’m boutta get it

demntist

To update this, the astronaut didn’t actually do it, she and her wife were getting a divorce and the wife plead guilty to lying to the feds about it

And framing your ex for a crime mid-divorce while they are actively in space is some Agatha Christie level shit

lesbians winning against 100% of all space false crime allegations

dry humping in its specificity as a term implies the existence of wet humping

not my best work

rip eddie munson, you would have loved s5 steve

Shane is so happy to see Ilya in the hospital that you can actually see the fear in that man's eyes. He walks in the room and sees that Shane has, in his infirmity, allowed the words 'WHERE is the man I FUCK' to be written across his forehead and his eyeballs. Ilya walks in the room and Shane says "Heeeey! :D" and you can see the arithmetic going on in Ilya's terrified gaze as he calculates exactly how many seconds he can be in Shane's presence without him just dissolving into a mess because Ilya won't give him kisses. He backs out of the room whispering "Shhh" because Shane "Heart Eyes" Hollander is liable to tell everyone he encounters for the next six hours how many moles Ilya has on his stomach. He sits in his car afterward and Googles shit like 'Do nurses take Hippocratic oath' and 'What is doctor-patient confidentiality' and 'Shane Hollander thirst trap' but that one is just to calm himself down. He texts Shane the 🤫 emoji every hour on the hour for the next two and a half days. Shane responds with 😚 and Ilya spirals.