Masterlist of Fics

If you want to see the stuff that I'm even remotely proud of, you can find it here:

Louder Than Love - (Rated E, 134,734 words - WIP.)

Poly!Wolfstar+Tonks, OotP fix-it. If you like music references, nuanced family relationships, and banter (omg so much banter) then you may like this one. I'm honestly pretty proud of how this one is coming out overall, now that I'm getting into a groove. Contains fluff, humor, and angst. (18+, mind the tags.)

Satellites series - (Varying lengths and ratings.)

All the fun little one-shots and drabbles I've posted on here end up under this heading, with some cool moon references added for extra tone. You'll find the Beater!Remus drabble in here, as well as the Peter fics. Fluff and angst mostly (some humor here and there.) The majority is Wolfstar; there is one in there that is Poly!Wolfstar+Tonks. Also some art!

Ouroboros - (Rated T, 12,393 words.)

Remus taking care of his estranged father at the end of Lyall's life, and having to come to terms with his own feelings. Extremely angsty, extremely unreliably narrated. Technically part of the Satellites series; this is a divergence from the LTL plotline (so same background for Remus) and directly references it in parts. Can be read on its own just fine.

A Matter of Interpretation - (Rated M, 2,183 words.)

My interpretation of what actually happened with "the prank." Attempts to address the reality of hot-headed teenagers and their behavior. Literally no one comes out of this clean. It's angsty, but in a matter-of-fact kind of way.

for him. - (Rated T, 6.090 words.)

Remus & Harry bonding time. Realistic "pranks" that have nothing to do with magic and everything to do with Teenagers Doing Dumb Teenager Shit. Simple but candid discussions of sexuality. Also one of my favorite Remus vs Snape scenes I've ever written. Wolfstar, but no prior relationship. Mostly humor with a bit of reasonable angst.

The Great Biscuit Calamity of 1978, and Other Such Disasters - (Rated T, 8,093 words.)

Remus and Sirius making gingerbread men, but also a little bit Remus having no patience for the gender binary. Wolfstar with background Hinny. Humor and fluff with an undercurrent of angst.

three knocks upon the door - (Rated E, 6,998 words.)

A dark casefic that goes wildly off the rails, and my first foray into femslash. A rare Lily/Tonks with low key background Wolfstar! (And another rarepair, if you squint!) Possibly one of my favorite fics I've ever written. 18+, please mind the tags!!

Where the Wild Thyme Grows - (Rated M, 7,000 words.)

My first ever high fantasy fic! Featuring Dad!Sirius and a slightly unhinged Remus (and we love him for it.) Also Arthur and Molly being adorable together. It is a horror fic, though, so be warned! Dark themes and graphic depictions of injuries within.

Applied Theory - (Rated M, 6,698 words - WIP)

My Wolfstar Enemies-to-Lovers Academia AU! Raw posted here and ported straight to AO3. French!Sirius and Welsh!Remus. Includes technical discussions of magical theory (occasionally AP formatted), Shenanigans, and more French dialogue than I had any right using. Great fun though. :)

I've also made a masterlist of all my fic playlists here, if you're interested!

Nothing like playing "oh no we both caught a stomach virus at THE SAME TIME" hot potato with your partner riiiiiiiight during daycare pick up.

No LPs or Beans were harmed during this Benny Hill sequence.

I think given the Mood currently it's a good time to tap some things out for the next chapter. Spoilers below if you are interested...

The next couple of weeks are going to be... difficult for me, personally.

I mean there's like... the obvious dissolution of social order occurring around me, which is awful in ways I cannot fully express, and the normal day to day post holiday goop on top of that, but also... Idk. Wondering what life would have looked like about now, if things didn't pan out as they did. It's like a little tick that burrowed into the back of my brain and just kinda lives there, and I don't really notice it unless I accidentally touch it. (Because it's never on purpose, Jesus Christ.)

Because the thing is I've been organizing all of Bean's old things for a friend and every thing I set aside for her feels like a funeral as much as an act of community. But that at least is more of a sad if fond bittersweetness. It's not the guilt that sucker punches me at 2am, or when I accidentally open the drawer where the books are while I was looking for a pen.

I can know that things felt wrong in my bones from the beginning and still think back to every single thing I did that might have started the chain of events. I can still acknowledge the feeling that this was inevitable every time Bean demands I carry her from room to room, every time she throws a fit (as toddlers do) and throws her little limbs in directions I can't fully comprehend, and with speed and power I did not anticipate. It's not blame, just resignation. The anger is reserved for myself for not being more careful, no matter what that means. Angry it happened. Angry it didn't. Angry that the world right now has me thinking it's okay, actually, maybe it's better this way. Imagine.

Mr LP bought a tree. I'm giving away all the things we'd saved. And we don't talk about it. Won't. Probably never will. Most people don't, I think. It'll just silently ride in the back of my brain until they put me in the ground. Ironic, when you think about it.

I know I'm far from the only one. I know someone's probably going to see this and think I should be grateful for what I have - and I am, don't get it twisted.

...But.

Anyway. Idk if there was really a point to this. I just needed to throw this somewhere that would be seen, esp in case anyone else is feeling like this, bc it sucks feeling like you're the only one even when you know logically that you're not. Like this is me feeling like Tom Hanks yelling at Wilson. Except I'm in the middle of the city.

The big change I made, ultimately, in writing LTL and all the characterization shifts that follow, is that I ask the question of who Remus is without his deference to Dumbledore.

Who is he as a person? How would he behave? What choices would he make? How would those choices affect the course of events?

And I realize there's an argument to be made that he would never, and thus the entire premise is OOC. However, it's not like I just wrote him as "yo fuck that old bastard" right from chapter 1. I mean he gets there, eventually, but in that angry way of someone preparing to go no contact with a close relative after realizing how fucked up things are between them.

The thing about LTL is it's about dominoes.

Remus makes the decision to prioritize Sirius and his physical/mental well-being over a fruitless attempt to court the werewolves. To affect change on the one thing he KNOWS he can help with, instead of banging his head against another thing he knows he can't. That choice is the first domino.

Remus trusts Dumbledore. Trusts that he has their best interests in mind. Trusts that he can see that Sirius is not doing well, that he needs support, and that Remus is the best person to provide that support. Trusts that Dumbledore recognizes his skills enough to see he can be useful in other ways.

And Dumbledore proceeds to violate that trust, over and over and over again. He is persistent in pushing for Remus to return to his field duties. He does not take Remus' experience into account, nor his explanation when he literally illustrated the complexity of the situation for the entire Order, and not only his, but their inability to surmount the obstacles at hand. Dumbledore only sees his objective, and Remus as his only means of achieving it.

Likewise, there's his handling of Sirius: locking him up in the house with vague promises of legal assistance that he does not follow through on, or at least with any semblance of urgency. He is treated as a carrot on a stick for Harry, and a hostage for Remus, and nothing else. Remus is still coming to terms with this, and while frustrated is still conflicted. At least, up until this most recent chapter...

All of that to say that a true dissolution of trust in Dumbledore has been building, and I think toying with changing that core aspect of Remus' character has introduced some really interesting (and increasingly less subtle) shifts.

Bean just figured out the concept of "guess what" five minutes ago and she used it to inform me she'd pooped sooooo that's how today is going.