Ilya meeting Shane's parents must be insane for them like. Mr Ilya "The Terminator" Rozanov, terror on ice and menace in bed, politely stands there. Your very shy son admonishes him for using the word "lovers" and Russia's Greatest Rage Machine just takes it.

You ask when this started and Mister Dickhead makes sure Shane is accurate about when they started this. How dare you stave off half a year of us, Shane?

You ask if they talked to Scott Hunter and Ra Ra Rasputin says that he, famous asshole extraordinaire went to talk to Patron Saint of Hockey Gays to offer him congratulations.

You ask if he has no loyalty to Boston and Mr Fucking Fuck San Francisco is like. Nyet

Your son is having a panic attack and Miike Snow Genghis Khan calls them "boyfriends" and it's your own extremely shy and sensitive and loving son that is like MY WHAT

Had to ban the phrase “tricky dick” from my classroom during watergate lesson because saying the word dick in front of 30 fifteen year olds is like lighting a bomb and throwing it through the doorway but now they’re just calling him Richard the Treacherous like they’re all medieval peasants. gonna lose it

Jacob Tierney, we need to have a little talk about how you gave Scott and Kip sunlight and GAVE SHANE AND ILYA MOONLIGHT.

The Moonlight Sonata? My Moon My Man?? Just as shining and beautiful but not in the public eye, quieter and softer and more hidden, and also visible BECAUSE OF THE SUN. I'm freaking out about this ever since my friend pointed it out and you all need to be freaking out about it with me.

Oh, so that’s why they used Moonlight Sonata in the monologue scene. I thought it was a little odd they used a Beethoven piece. Instead of Tchaikovsky or another famous Russian classical composer.

Everything makes sense now!!! Holy shit, my mind is blown.

not trying to shit on anyone but the amount of heated rivalry fanfiction in which shane is transmasc and ilya is cis (paired with the fact that t4t stories are a minority, and stories in which ilya is trans and shane is cis are virtually inexistent) is. to say the least. interesting.

I have this same problem/opinion. I'm currently working on a nonbinary Ilya/cis Shane fic, and a hollanov t4t with bonus intersex trans Ilya.

OKAY one of the incredibly important implications of a t4t hollanov au to me (where they are trans men/transmascs)--and sure there are also interesting social and worldbuilding implications like are they somehow both stealth in the MHL and if so How? Did they start in women's leagues? Do they have other jobs and are simply Rabid Hockey Fans togeather?--but I'm too horny to figure all that out

What I'm most interested in is that when Ilya texts "how many times can u cum in 1 hour" and Shane replies "idk maybe twice?" because he has Literally never tried to come more than twice in one sitting in his Life, Ilya immediately concocts a maniacle plan and texts back "bet I can make you come 20 times in one hr" (he decides he can make him come at least 1ce every 3 min) (i had to get out my calculator for this post that's how dedicated i am)

then follows it up with "i will bring my stop watch"

At this point Shane either whites out or is truly just completely incredulous like Cannot imagine this is possible--or both of course! both possibilities excellent

Anyway obviously Ilya proves him wrong and in fact makes him come 24 times (he claims that he could have done more but he stopped there on purpose because of the number)

They definitely still had a plan for Incredibly Tender First Time Anal and I find it equally hilarious if this whole thing distracts them so much that they Forget the 1st time anal plan OR if they Do do it but then imagining how the tone of it all might be affected by Shane having just come 24 times beforehand while being kind of mad about it and also having gotten the Absolute giggles which means Ilya also has the absolutel giggles--Obsessed with them trying to do 1st time anal while Unable to stop hysterically giggling actually

DO they succeed? i'm screaming

This is a fic prompt btw everyone who feels the call write a version of this i know i will be trying to

(tagging logistic)

Okay, I am writing a t4t Hollanov RIGHT now, in which Shane played 3 years in the women's league before retiring to transition, and Ilya is an intersex trans man, and Irina and Svetlana's mom escaped to Canada when their babies were born and raised them as siblings in a Boston marriage (there is WORLDBUILDING HAPPENING). And they start playing in the same inclusive LGBTQIA+ team in the same beer league, and that's when their relationship tarts. Also, the whole fic is set in Toronto, and Scott & Kip may make appearances as U-Haul lesbians.

Do you think Ilya has developed a Pavlovien response to Shane folding his clothes because Shane folds his clothes before sex, do you think Ilya's teammates call him to go out and he is like "no, Shane is doing the laundry today" and everyone is like what the fuck is he talking about

Well I do NOW!!!

Ilya: this guy is cute, I should start a stationary bike race so he knows I want to get sweaty together

Ilya: that didn’t quite work. Maybe I should just give him the eye? While I tell him I hope he likes his new city?

Ilya: okay. But surely if I make him drink from my water bottle and brush his fingers when passing it over…?

Ilya: call him pretty. To his face. No way he can miss that

Ilya: desperate measures, I’ll have to tell him I orchestrated this whole ad campaign just so I could see him again

Ilya: WHAT IF I STARTED JERKING OFF IN THESE COMUNAL SHOWERS?

Shane, 7 years later: I have figured out that you like me.

[x]

I'm...not sure I've ever heard an actor so bizarrely but accurately describe a character in my life.

Inheritance by Warsan Shire

Yuna KNOWS other people are going to ask the, "did they ever let one another win???" question so she makes a big compilation of them just beating the shit out of one another during games, then when they come out she posts it with the caption, "Actually, I think their relationship makes their competitiveness worse. 🤷🏻‍♀️"

And then she proceeds to list off other dumb little competitions she's seen them have like going up the stairs, who gets to drive, who gets to help her cook dinner, who gets the good corner on the couch. Shane breaks into the middle of this Twitter thread with just, "MOM." She keeps listing.

@allthefoolmine

Headcanon accepted. This will be happening in ALL my fics now.

they should make a pill that makes people in their 20s feel good about where their lives are going

Impressive to me that no one said the same thing twice

Loved the finale, wanted to contribute something

writer brain is like “what if this story was a metaphor for grief”

no babes what if this story was finished first

What if the real grief was the writing we didn't do along the way

please, call me dip. mr. shit was my father