despite the fact that jud's form and view of christianity is a very pleasant one, i appreciate that no part of benoit blanc is converted. it's not like i expected benoit to become a christian obviously, but i expected him to potentially stay for a service at the end, when invited. or to show appreciation for what jud is building at his church. even just appreciation that he's welcome.

after the whole movie, when benoit is given the invite, he still says there's nothing he wants less than to stay in that church. it's very, very reasonable and realistic of a traumatized atheist, but i almost never see it depicted in this way. usually they come around to "see the beauty" in one way or another. i just really appreciate that they didn't do that.

I think what stands out to me is the Road to Damascus scene. Benoit doesn't convert, because being religious does not automatically make you a good person. You don't need it, it's a community and system that should not be a requirement, it can help you grow and shape you, but it has it's negatives (which many queer religious people have dealt with, including me). Benoit does not convert, but he is positively influenced by Jud. Jud talks about Damascus, and Benoit ends the movie by ending the game. He "loses", so that Martha has the chance to truly confess and repent, in fact realizing that Grace was a victim.

Benoit did "see the beauty", but not in the church. He saw it in the hope, acceptance, and genuine kindness that Jud had in him. He was changed by the people, not the organization

blood under fingernails

Artem Rohovyi - Symphony of Branches gouache on paper

goodnight mp3 and 4,

png sleep and jpeg snore,

.txt stop blabbing, tomorrow wake,

and .zip no new files make,

.gif tosses but pdf can’t,

.exe and .dmg want

to now shut down and save some RAM

night time in computer land

benophie dump

this time, it can be different (1998 - 2028)

do you ever have a conversation and think “I am not heterosexual enough for this”

you can tell jud is a catholic because he keeps feeling guilty and confessing to stuff he's not responsible for

Fandom in a time of moral panic is so maddening. You don't need to claim something is bad or wrong to justify not liking it. You sure as shit don't need to prove something is good or correct to justify liking it. Stop trying to moralize your fiction, especially if you haven't even figured out how to interpret it properly.

Like I cannot stress enough how much you do not need a 5k word essay to "prove" that Glup Shitto's Turbo Asshole Mass Murder route is secretly empowering and actually probably even more healing than the alternative that sends him to fantasy therapy for wayward blorbos. You can just say "bad guy power fantasy tickles my pickle" and go on with your goddamn day. That's all you need. It saves you loads of time and saves me the headache of having to think about how badly you've missed the fucking point of the goddamn narrative.

The duality of reviews on wake up dead man

𝙻𝙰𝙸𝙺𝙰 𝚃𝙾 𝙶𝚁𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳 𝙲𝙾𝙽𝚃𝚁𝙾𝙻 — I miss you , Have I told you that yet?

why does my future depend on me i dont like this

the damage has been done (overshared)

mind if I come over and behave somewhat like a scared animal before I adjust