hollanov fic recs

some heated rivalry fics i like a lot. my notes under each title, not the official summaries

Little More Close by maplesalad @maple-salad | 2k, E a little consensual non-consent for our guy shane, as a treat Taking a Walk in the Woods After Having Taken a Walk in the Woods with You by lark_ral @larkral | 2k, E ilya gets his shit rocked by the new yorker poetry section Cunk on Hockey by qkind | 2k, E national treasure philomena cunk interviews shane and ilya #noticing by YankingAwry @theburialofstrawberries | 3k, E svetty realises what’s up. gorgeous outsider pov Adjustments by sheepknitssweater | 3k, E soft dick ilya actually very emotionally important to me call me back someday by hockeyfinches | 3k, E club scene remix feat. EVEN MORE FEELINGS. ilya voice unmatched u might want to get tested by toomuchplor | 5k, E ilya and his fuckboi ways and a surprisingly romantic chlamydia scare Brighton Beach by citrusses, iota @citrusses @sorrybutblog | 5k, E mid-situationship, they visit anora-land Penalties by citrusses | 5k, E ilya is married to someone else. beautifully grimy Vishnya by Kate Andrews (k8andrewz) | 10k, E ilya smokes cigarettes and calls shane’s asshole a pussy and makes him wear panties  clear to a hedgehog by magneticwave | 12k, E AU: hockey player ilya, doctor shane. great ilya pov

clear to a hedgehog rocked my shit. I had to read it again immediately after finishing, then send it to a friend who is in residency for her to confirm that it is both amazing and gets the residency AU correct!!!

major league hockey fan watching ilya kiss shane’s helmet at the 2017 all star game and posting “god had to put ilya rozanov and shane hollander on rival teams because otherwise they’d be having so much gay sex they wouldn’t have time for hockey” and then a few years later reblogging themselves like “WELL”

Hockey is such a beautiful sport. too bad about literally everything else about it

Shoresy would be so annoyed if he was asked about hollanov.

"rozy's done great work turning the centaurs into a team that doesn't make you wanna die watching. adding a player like holly to that line up i might just skip real housewives this season and watch the playoffs for a change"

"captained four stanley cup wins between them and i'd rather have a russian than a fucking yank playing for canada"

"it's the fucking nhl you don't get there without being the best at hockey, who cares whose fucking or getting fucked off the ice"

"nothing sexy about a gross ass locker room nobody is fuckin ogling their teammates or jerking off in the showers you wait until your at home like everyone else it's called being a professional"

"i'd jerk it to anyone who played a great game but im not doing it in a room that smells like an elephants labia"

"this is what you dragged me here for? I had a date night at an ethiopian restaurant so good it'd blow a broads tits clean off and I had to reschedule for this!?"

"Scott Hunter is gay? HUH?!"

Connor Storrie arriving at NBC's studios for his appearance on The Late Night with Seth Meyers

Me when I'm old as fuck and my grandkids talk to me: this reminds me of a post. I gotta go find the post

Grandkids: grandpa sit down you don't need to show us a post

Me: (not listening) Now where was that post....

i know this was like a month ago but jacob on the shift saying what makes connor so perfect for the role is that he was so good at playing “what i wanted out of ilya, which was a slyness. that ilya’s always trying not to laugh, especially at shane. that he doesn’t want shane to realise how much he likes him, and how charmed, how endlessly charmed he is by making shane uncomfortable. it actually lights him up inside, he really loves it.”

literally the mandate of heaven that jacob tierney has 😭😭😭 it lights him up inside i-

yeah we’re like best friends. i like her posts all the time

me and oomfs

re: that last ask: perhaps the most inaccurate part of heated rivalry is making people believe that the all-star game is a Very Significant Event in the hockey season. in reality it is a very silly event that sometimes features fun activities like a wet t-shirt contest (sidney crosby's idea) but is mostly just a marketing gimmick. the players do not take it seriously and would 100% skip if they could (if you get tapped for the ASG you have to go to the ASG while everyone else gets to go on vacation lol). in fact the threat of players inventing reasons not to go is so real that if the nhl suspend players for a game if they skip it. i do think ilya might actually enjoy the ASG because he's such a ham and would delight in the fan service aspects of it, but shane would for SURE grimly view it as an obligation he must fulfill as a Face of the League. unless ilya's there and shane can count on getting dicked down, in which case, yay :)

our divas

They really are annoying kids winding their dad up, and I love them for it

Look at their smiles.❤️‍🩹

let's go baby boy.