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Odds and... odds...

@thenightling

Now that Epiphany is over we should be wary of the Christmas Goblins.

Charles Dickens wrote a story before A Christmas Carol called 'The Goblins who stole a Sexton." This was pretty much an early version of what would become a Christmas Carol and featured some goblins terrorizing a mean spirited gravedigger until he reformed. it even ended with him leaving town to start his new life because he didn't want to be mocked or ridiculed for the sudden change. The goblins were a bit more violent than the spirits that visited Ebeneezer Scrooge.

Christmas Goblins don't just terrorize mean-spirited people in need of redemption and lacking in Christmas spirit. According to a nineteenth century English superstition, if you leave your Christmas decorations up past Candlemas (February 2nd) then The Christmas Goblins will come after you for disrespecting the holiday by keeping the decorations up too long. Sort of the direct opposite of Sam's reaction to Halloween decorations being taken down too early in the movie Trick 'r Treat.

Goblins are by Bernie Wrightson (Berni Wrightson) for his Monsters! Color The Creatures coloring book (1974).

The Doctor Who Goblins are NOT antisemitic!

I knew I'd have to make a post like this as soon as I saw The Goblins in The Doctor Who 2023 Christmas special. Please... For the love of sanity, stop latching onto perceived offenses. There's a lot of real antisemitism going on right now. Goblins were not created to BE antisemitic. It's true antisemitism has used Goblins and perpetated negative stereotypes about Jewish people from appearance to greed but the notion of goblins pre-dates even Christianity. There are goblins in pre-Christian Jewish folklore. Gobelinus is an old Latin word for demon. Gobelin is Ango-Norman and french. The folklore was not originally attached to anti-semitism. That came later. The notion of little demons, imps, dark fae, dark elves, or what-have-you eating babies was not created specifically to be anti-Jewish. Often it was a supernatural means of explaining things like SIDS (Sudden infant Death syndrome). Many old folktales were used to explain away child deaths or disappearances without explanation. Such as a changeling replacing a baby or the idea that Lilith (Adam's first wife) became a Queen demon and her and her demon-children kill babies to spite the descendants of Adam and Eve. The Goblins in Doctor Who are very clearly non-human entities, possibly alien. The Goblins in Labyrinth are literally muppets. Jewish authors use goblins all the time and it's not merely to "take sting out of the antisemitic creature." Puck is a Hobgoblin in Neil Gaiman's The Sandman. There's also Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins by Eric Kimmel and Trina Schart Hyman. Just because some authors have used goblins as antisemitic metaphors does not mean every author does. Charles Dickens' The Goblins who Stole a Sexton were not a Jewish allegory as the goblins were decidedly Christian and abduct a mean Gravedigger one Christmas Eve to teach him the error of his ways. It was pretty much an early prototype of what would become A Christmas Carol. The goblins were the "Good guys." Very unorthodox good guys but the good guys. Sometimes Goblin was used as a blanket term for dark faery and many souls of the dead would become faeries in the afterlife like the Beansidhe (Banshee) or the Dullahan (headless Horsemen). Even Washington Irving called The Headless Horseman a goblin. Not everything is bigotry in disguise. The goblins of Doctor Who don't want to eat babies as a gesture of a negative antisemitic stereotype. They want to eat babies because they are malicious nature spirits (or aliens) that think young humans are as tasty as some humans think veal is. Mythology and folklore wasn't created just to smear "The other." It was also used to explain away natural events. This includes tragedies. You will notice the belief in goblins tends to be high in regions and eras where infant mortality was also very high. They needed someone to blame and frankly, it's better they blamed something non-human instead of the little old spinster they might call a witch. When Jewish people were accused of "eating babies" it was a dehumanization tactic. The blaming of supernatural entities for child death or disappearance came first. So no, having goblins (same root word as "Gobble") want to eat babies is not innately antisemitic.

Happy Walpurgisnacht!

Happy Walpurgisnacht! April 30th is the Night of Saint Walpurgis, a Germanic holiday that was the medieval spring equivalent of Halloween, celebrated roughly at the half-way point to Halloween. It is a night when witches supposedly gather and hold festivals in the woods with goblins, fae and the like to trade spells and potions.   The night gets mentioned in Goethe's Faust and in Dracula's Guest by Bram Stoker.  

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coffeetwosugars

so you know the rule in fairylands where you cant eat or drink anything or you’ll have to stay there forever? does like.. .eating out/sucking dick count

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actualtrashbag

holy f uck jane

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sinfullucifer

its a serious question

well like, the whole thing is that you cannot have consumed anything belonging to the fey realm. so, yes, probably, you would be stuck there. the same would apply if you just straight up ate a fairy.

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sinfullucifer

new question: would deepthroating count in this case even w/o swallowing

no. temporary doesn’t count, otherwise fairies would all be running about sticking their hands in your mouth to get human servants.

you gotta digest it.

so like??? if you puke afterwards?? maybe it doesn’t count?

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sinfullucifer

huh! i wonder how long is enough time for it to be legit. like whatever goes through your stomach immediately condemns you no matter if you throw it up later?

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generallyhuxurious

Well Persephone only ate 6 seeds so she only stayed 6 months, so maybe if you spat out most of it you’d just be condemned to the occasional day “BRB got go pay the two day toll for fellating a fairy.”

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sinfullucifer

“you wanna come over for the weekend?”

“oh man im so sorry i sucked some fairy dick once and now i have to keep coming back to do it again– its a long story”

“you what now”

i can hardly believe this isn’t already the plot of an Oglaf comic

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sinfullucifer

now that u said it im really surprised as well

what the fuck did i just read

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dominawritesthings

Why ISN’T this an Oglaf comic yet?

I’m so happy that i’m not the only person who thinks of questions like these. I love you all so much.

I’m not convinced by this, actually!

Like, this analysis treats it as a substance problem, i.e. “edible matter from fairyland has properties that, if ingested, physically prevent you from being able to return to the real world.”

But OTOH, a recurring theme throughout fairy stories is that they’re all about…rules and exchanges and agreements with really steep interest rates:

  • “I’ll do you this favor, but if you don’t guess my name you’ll have to give me your first-born child.”
  • “You’re gonna be real good at everything but when you’re 16 you’re gonna prick your finger and die.”
  • “You loaned me $2 for the bus when I looked like a beggar, so now here’s a literal pile of gold and shit.”

Not to mention that in Childe Rowland, one of the central “if you eat food from fairyland you’re stuck there” stories, Rowland manages to retrieve his siblings despite them all presumably having chowed down on fairy food – all it took was beating the Fairy King in a swordfight and threatening to chop his head off.

The takeaway, I think, is that the food thing a matter of implicit exchange: if you get your grub on in fairyland, you’re accepting their hospitality and eating food that they own. This means you owe them, which the fairies can magically leverage to prevent you from leaving.

(You can probably get around this by explicitly agreeing to pay for your meal before you sit down to eat. From what I remember, fairies don’t seem capable of pulling a “Haha, we had an agreement but you’re fucked anyways!” maneuver, so if they agree to let you leave they might even be forced to help you leave.)

Which brings us to the matter at hand: if you blow a fairy you’re doing them a favor! They owe you.

And…they’re a fairy, so if you didn’t agree to terms beforehand they might not repay you in a way that’s ultimately helpful or safe, but it certainly doesn’t seem like they’d be able to, like, pat you on the head and be like “Thanks, you’re really good at this buuuuuuut also you’re stuck here forever now.”

Instead, what seems more likely is…I dunno, showing up to your wedding years later and giving you a beautiful white horse that always comes when called, while loudly praising you as truly deserving it for giving them them simply the best oral they’ve had in years. 

It seems that for a lot of you people this lore is very new and you’re trying to go over it like a lawyer.  But here’s the thing,  they don’t want a human servant.  They want an immortal fae servant.  The food is usually enchanted to enthrall and then transform you.  Humans are too fragile and die too soon.  They want a faery.   Faeries, like vampires, are a bit of a pyramid scheme.  Natural reproduction is rare for faeries.   

They like to transform humans (Particularly children).  This is covered in Goethe’s Der Erlking, and William Butler Yeats’ The Stolen Child.  A child might even leave a physical body behind and seem dead but their soul has been transformed into a fae. 

Eating the fruit of a faery isn’t just a bargain, it’s a catalyst for a spell to begin the transformation into one of them, first by means of an enthrallment spell (the film Jim Henson’s The Labyrinth, and The Goblin Market by Christina Rossetti) and then to transform (True Blood, and Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman).

If you read Neil Gaiman’s The Sandman in the issue A Midsummer Night’s Dream in the Dream Country volume (issue 17 of The Sandman, episode 20 in the audio drama adaptation) Titania entices Shakespeare’s young son with faery fruit.   That same son “Dies” at age eleven but in later volumes of The Sandman Titania is seen with a faery servant that looks like an unaged version of Shakespeare’s “deceased” son.

It’s a bit like consuming vampire blood.  Fairy food (especially fairy fruit) isn’t just a means to a bargain that you stay and serve them.  It begins a transformation to make you into a faerie too.  You’ll never be mortal again but faerie culture is a slave culture, you probably now belong to the faerie that tricked you into eating it.

It’s not just about if you paid for the meal or not.  The food they give you is of the realm of Faerie and is naturally enchanted (especially the fruit).  Similar to the pomegranate in the underworld that Persephone ate in Greek mythology. Once you partake of it, you are destined to become one of them.     

Stop. Normalizing. Bath Bombs. they’re training people not to recognize the inherent dangers of magical vortexes

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

thousands of years of evolutionary instincts gone just like that. you dumbasses are gonna stick your feet in the first glowing portal you stumble across and get kidnapped by the fucking fae

listen, buddy

the way this world is going, i will happily jump into a glowing portal and get abducted by the fae

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

you know what that’s fair

Happy Walpurgisnacht everyone!

April 30th is Walpurgisnacht, the halfway point to Halloween.   It’s the eve before Beltane and in German tradition it is essentially a second Halloween.  In medieval Germany it was believed to be the night where witches and faeries have secret festivals in forests to sell their potions, charms, and spells, to dance, tell stories, and cavort with fae and goblin alike.  It is a night of powerful magick and when the veil between worlds becomes thin (Much like on Halloween itself).  

Goblins, imps, trolls, ghosts, and demons are supposed to roam loose on Walpurgisnacht, along with hungry vampires, and dark faeries.  

(Artwork by Brian Froud)

Dracula’s Guest by Bram Stoker is set during Walpurgisnacht and there are two pivotal scenes in Goethe’s Faust (parts 1 and 2) at Walpurgisnacht celebrations.

This year’s Walpurgisnacht comes with a full moon (Moon reaches its peak on the 29th).  

Once Upon a Time fans will also recognize Beltane as also being the night Baelfire was born (as he was named for the bonfires of Beltane).   

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how to tell if your worldbuilding is Bad

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dateanorcsuggestion

excuse me while i ignore this entirely

Pathfinder has it’s problems with gender and race but thank fuck the relationship rules for romance are legit “you can be married” and that’s it.

I call bullshit.  If homosexuality / bisexuality was forbidden in Goblin Society David Bowie would have never become their king!

I remember the first time I discovered I was a Bernie Wrightson fan. My mother knew I was a fan before I was even aware I was a fan.   Though I have considerably poor eyesight I do have a certain love of various genres and styles of art.   

My mother passed away in 2006 and she knew me perhaps better than most people who ever tried to know me.  She had an instinctual bond with me, and not just because I was her daughter.   One day many years ago my mother bought me a book from The Adirondack Trader called Monsters Color-The-Creature.  And it had been signed by the illustrator, Berni Wrightson (at the time he didn't write the e).

  I have always loved monsters and creatures of Gothic literature.   But there was something special to this book.   It had been signed by the illustrator, himself.  And my mother had recognized it, not just as a genre of artwork that I like, but as a particular artist who had made recurring appearances in my book collection.  I had not paid attention to the name but I had always loved Bernie's artwork. I already owned the Creepshow graphic novel and Cycle of the werewolf illustrated by Bernie Wrightson. 

Bernie Wrightson along with Brian Froud (for very different reasons) were my two favorite illustrators. I have long since lost that Color-The-Creature book that had been signed by Bernie Wrightson.  It had disappeared on me during a move.   But it seemed as I got older Bernie was always there when I needed him. When I became obsessed with Frankenstein (around the age of twelve) I eventually found and loved his illustrated edition of the novel.   When I became discouraged with awful Frankenstein sequels that were buy authors who clearly never touched the actual book, Bernie Wrightson's Frankenstein Alive Alive was there, capturing the spirit of the original novel.

  Bernie's artwork was always with me, bearing a particular and nearly forgotten style of Gothic horror ambiance that you rarely see anymore even in comic books.  And it all started with my mother seeing a coloring book and recognizing it as being something I'd want and appreciate.  

Why are there no Dark fae horror movies?!

         I want someone to make a SERIOUS horror film about dark faeries.   No one knows that faeries aren't all cute tiny pixies.  Sidhe were human sized and some unseelie (dark fae) were pretty damn menacing. 

Take for example the Redcaps.  They're called that because when they kill they soak their caps in the blood of their victims. Their only vulnerability is cold iron.  Why has no one made a horror movie using them or other dark fae creatures?

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