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Make a Move for the Right Reasons

@zarohk

AMA Unifying Theory of Bionicle & Dragon Age
Old enough to have learned Internet safety in school. Born last century.
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Anonymous asked:

Worst animorph other than Rachel to get amnesia in megamorphs 1?

[Nonny, you shall have to see if you agree with my reasoning or not.]

• I can't tell you who I am, or where I'm from.  As in, I can't.  Seriously, I can't remember.  I woke up in an area of forest that I didn't recognize, which could mean anything — I don't remember any places.  Maybe these woods were just outside my house — if I even had a house.  Maybe I was thousands of miles from my home.  I just don't know.

• I woke up under a tree.  I was lying on the uneven stick-stabbing ground, my head aching like someone was banging at the top of it with a rubber mallet, trying to unstick my brains like so many rusted-on gaskets.  If so, it wasn't working.

  • "Hello?" I said out loud.  It came out weirdly garbled.  My mouth wasn't moving how I expected, something misaligned.  That wasn't right.  I just knew, in a way I didn't know which was was home or even my own name, that I wasn't supposed to sound like this.
  • I was meant to have lips and teeth, not this... this ceratioid thing I could feel on the front of my face when I raised my fingers toward it.  Toward, because I wimped out before actually touching it.  It was like an open wound.  It was not a part of this body.  I knew that much.  I was certain.
  • Focus, I told myself.  You need to figure out what to do with... this.  You'll die out here if you don't.
  • And then I felt it, something moving deep under my skin.  A sound escaped me then, a whimper of pure horror but with a bird's hoarse cry somewhere in there as well.  I swear, at that exact moment, a cloud passed over the sun.  Just one, where the sky was otherwise clear, and then it was gone.  But it was like the weather was changing around me with my thoughts — or else my vision was.
  • This was wrong, this was so wrong, this wasn't supposed to be happening...  But before long it was done, and I was left with two lips, several teeth, and a much clearer voice.
  • "Hello?" I said again.  Better.
  • "Hello!"  I yelled it this time, twisting my aching head to look around myself.  "Hello!  Please, someone help me, I'm lost!  I need help!  I was flying, and then I fell—"
  • Abruptly I stopped talking.  Flying?  What was that about?  Flying.  I was...  I looked again at my fingers, my nails, my arms and legs and toes.  Human.  Humans didn't fly.
  • "I hit my head!" I called, an edge of real desperation now.  "And now I'm losing my mind!"
  • The echoes faded into the trees, and no one answered.

• After another minute of sitting there and shouting, all the while battling the urge to cry, I gave up on shouting and pushed to my feet.  Turning in a slow circle, I tried to get my bearings.  Trees, all around me, most of them so tall that their lowest branches were above my head.  Sunlight from mid-morning or mid-afternoon, I couldn't tell which one.  The only thing out of place was the spot of blood on the trunk of the tree directly above me, about twenty feet up on its trunk.  I could feel a swelling on the right side of my forehead, but if I fell from that height, why didn't I have any broken bones or even scrapes?  As I stood there, another sound gradually became clear to me: water, from somewhere to my right.

  • "You're supposed to follow running water, right?"  I spoke out loud, in case there was anyone looking for me.  "It's a... clothesline.  I think.  A straight line you follow if you're lost in the woods, because otherwise you naturally walk in circles."
  • Then I shut my mouth, listening for the sound.  Definitely to my right.  I started that way, listening carefully.  Bare feet and forested floor were a painful combination, but I didn't exactly see a K-Mart anywhere around here and I didn't want to sit there under that tree forever.
  • Had I heard that clothesline thing in science class, or in some cartoon that made up different rules for reality?  This was insane.  I was insane.  I was scared, I was lost, I was going to die out here, and maybe my campground was 500 FEET AWAY but I'd never find it again because I'd been dumb enough to climb a tree and then brain myself so hard I hallucinated feathers onto my arms.
  • "Keep going," I whispered to myself.  "Just keep going.  Find help.  That's all you have to do."

• The sun had moved to directly overhead and then started setting a little, my legs were trembling-tired, and my feet hurt like crazy by the time I decided to give up and drink the river water.  Moving water was safer, right?  And it would be stupid to die of thirst this close to a water source.  Drinking the cold, slightly dirt-flavored water made my headache go away, which for some reason made my feet hurt even worse.

  • "Let's review what I know," I said out loud, to distract myself, picking along the river bank.  "I speak English.  I know what English is.  I know what a clothesline is.  I know what clothes, are, though..."  I looked down at my raggedy skintight togs.  "I'm not very good at picking them out before a hike.  I'm a human.  Right?"  I frowned at the trees.  "I'm human, I guess.  What does a human feel like?"
  • This made my head hurt worse.
  • "Okay," I said.  "No.  Only humans wear clothes.  Normally more clothes than this, but..."
  • I stopped talking then.  Stopped walking as well.  Held my breath, even, trying to block out the river.  I thought I'd heard...
  • And then, faster than thought, I was sprinting through the woods as fast as my torn feet would carry me.

• When I burst through into the clearing, I let out a yelp of sheer joy: humans!  There were humans there in the clearing, seven or eight of them.  Better yet, most of them were walking around with trash bags and grabby tools, cleaning up trash, and they all had matching t-shirts.  Nonprofit.  The word just came to me: nonprofit!  By now I was stumble-running down the hill.  They were volunteers for some charity.  I was saved!

  • "Hey, kid."  That was a guy with patterned tattoos wrapping his arms under the sleeves of his cheery turquoise t-shirt.  "You okay?"
  • "No!"  It came out half-wail.  "No, I'm not okay.  I'm lost.  I got lost in the woods.  I think I hit my head, and now I'm having trouble remembering things.  Please help."
  • The guy squinted at me like he wasn't sure what to make of this story.  I knew how it sounded — like something from a crime drama — and I hadn't even mentioned any of the really weird stuff yet.
  • "Okay," he said slowly.  Moving forward, he dropped his trash bag on the ground to put a warm hand on my arm.  "Let's get you inside, right?  There's a park shelter right over here, it's got running water and everything."

• The guy with the tattoos introduced himself as Bill, and the medic who met us in the shelter as Sharon.  They were both so nice it was almost overwhelming, bringing me granola bars and bottled water and a blanket I didn't need.  The shelter was sparse, just two tables and four benches in a common area and bathrooms off to the side, but it felt so good to be inside.  Sharon put me through concussion checks, then she disinfected and bandaged my feet.  Bill ducked out to talk to his fellow volunteers, probably about getting me a ride to the nearest hospital that might know who I was.

  • "Sorry we don't have any spare shoes," Sharon said.  "For now..."  She produced a pair of fuzzy socks, the kind with no-slip soles, and she even slid them gently over my feet before I could offer to do it myself.
  • "Thank you," I said.  "I'm so lucky I found you."  Like the t-shirts and the blanket, the socks were marked with the nonprofit's name.
  • The Sharing.

• When I stepped out of the little shelter, I found every one of the volunteers standing in two small clusters, whispering to each other and looking at me.  News of the crazy kid had apparently spread.  I was about to retreat back inside, but—

  • "Cassie?  Cassie Osei?"
  • The guy striding toward me was tall, light-skinned, with brown hair and a slow-spreading smile.  I could swear he reminded me of someone, though the name eluded me.
  • "Is that my name?" I said.  "Cassie?"
  • He stopped walking, eyebrows drawing together.  "What's that supposed to mean?"
  • "I'm sorry," I said, "I hit my head, and now I don't remember anything.  I don't even remember who you are."
  • The guy turned, exchanging a glance with the volunteer to his left.  Something passed between them that I wasn't privy to, but I could see it happen.
  • "Why don't we step back inside and talk in private."  He turned back to me, smiling again.  "My name's Tom, and I know you.  Sounds like you have quite the story to tell."

• I'm not sure why I ended up telling Tom everything.  Maybe because everyone was being so nice — he even pulled a bench out for me to sit, almost gentlemanly.  Maybe because he did seem faintly familiar, in a way no one else here did.  He said we'd known each other a long time, so I guess I was half-remembering a younger version of him, which fit with how some part of me expected him to be a little younger, a little shorter, more chubby and less muscular.  Warmer, too, if I was being honest.

  • "You had bird parts, when you woke up," Tom said, when I was done.  "And you didn't have a mouth, until you morphed yourself one."
  • A jolt went through me, at the word morphed.  It seemed to have the same effect on the guy standing in the door, who shifted in position and cleared his throat loudly at the word.
  • "No, I..." I glanced at the door, then back to Tom.  "I had a mouth, there was just something wrong with it.  You mean morphed like a caterpillar?  I'm not sure."
  • "Okay."  Tom sat down on top of the table, which — with me still on the bench — put him both further over me and a little closer to me than I was strictly comfortable with.  "Look.  Owen..."  He tilted his head toward the door.  "Is just nervous, because he thinks that we might have a big problem on our hands before the next two hours are up.  Do you think that that's the case?"
  • "Um."  I scooted back a little on the bench, trying to be subtle about it.  "How do we know each other again?"
  • "Cassie."  He touched a hand lightly to his chest.  "I'm your foster brother.  We grew up in the group home together, remember?  Even if you don't remember me, do you think you can remember any details about our foster mom Helen, or our dad Ricky?  What about our cat Snowflake?"
  • He was watching me closely as he spoke, and I could see it all over his face: he didn't believe me.  I knew it sounded far-fetched when I'd said it, but I'd been expecting condescension, not this level of suspicion.
  • "If you say so," I said. "I think I remember scooping litter boxes." It was the only true statement that came to mind.  "Do we have a lot of pets?"
  • Sighing, Tom dropped his head.  His hand went into his pocket, and I tensed, but when he removed it he was just holding an ordinary thermometer.  "Okay," he said, "I think you're running a fever, because you're not making much sense.  I'm going to check, for Sharon's records.  That all right with you?"
  • I don't know why I stood up then, my heart pounding so hard that I could feel it in my own eardrums.  Why I was staring at the ordinary plastic thermometer in his hand like it really was a gun he'd pulled out.  "Is there..."  I cleared my throat.  "Is there maybe an oral thermometer I could use instead?  Or one of those ones that goes under the armpit?  I just..."
  • It was the kind that went into your ear.  Why was that scary?  I didn't know, but I also couldn't get myself to calm down enough to sit there and do this completely ordinary medical check.
  • "Pro tip, andalite."  Tom's voice had gone ice-cold now, no emotion at all.  He set the thermometer on the table next to him, standing up to walk down the bench toward me.  "Next time you impersonate a human, try doing any research at all.  Humans don't morph, you sanctimonious imbecile, and Cassie Osei has met Tom Berenson maybe three times in her life."
  • "Don't—"  My voice came out small, and I felt like I was shrinking under his gaze.  "Please, just leave me al—"
  • The wind was rising around us, sky darkening as Tom loomed closer over me.  He was crazier than I was.
  • "Shit!" Owen said.  "Now you've done it!"  He strode around Tom, hand coming out of his jacket pocket.  "Stop!" he shouted.  "Or the Veleek—"
  • Later, it would occur to me to wonder why the thing he pointed at me scared me even worse than the thermometer had.  It was just a clunky black flashlight, nothing special.  But that would come later.  In that moment, I was distracted by the entire building exploding around us.

• The roof was gone in an instant, simply pureed into fragments.  The building's walls and furniture shattered around me, ripped into chunks and then shredded down to dust by the force of the whirling mass of devouring blades that all the while roared like a tornado.  The scream of wood ripping apart, the jackhammer shatter of broken cement underneath, and — worst of all — human screams as well.  "WATER!" someone was shouting.  "GET WATER!"  And then the words were lost under an unending cry.

  • I cowered down underneath the bench, half-sobbing with terror and shock.  I wanted it all to stop, to go away, and more than anything I wanted to disappear.  I wanted to become nothing, nothing at all...
  • And I was.  My hands had already shriveled away, where they had been clamped around my head, and my legs were disappearing as well.  My whole body was getting smaller and smaller, becoming translucent, no more than a fingernail clipping in size, bones and hair willed away by the force of my sheer overwhelm.

• The queen.  The queen needed help.  The workers had to help the queen, and she was so very far away.  But that was all right.  These six strong legs were enough to carry this body until it dropped, trying to reach her, and then this body would serve as fuel for others.  Just like a taxxon, constructing a living hive.

Taxxon? A nothing thought. Never mind.

• The legs powered on.  The thoughts were not troublesome, not when the queen was in need.

• Taxxon.  The legs stopped.  The antennae sought, the feet scrabbling, but—  Taxxon.  I knew that word.  I.  I knew.  I knew it, because I was.  I was.  I was.

  • «Oh my god!» I shouted, there in the termite tunnel I'd built for myself.  «Oh god, oh my god, I have to demorph!»
  • Cassie.  I thought of Cassie.  And suddenly there was so much to think about.  The hair I'd cut short, after I got tired of maintaining my braids, and the nose I liked but the hips I hated, the spine I was hoping would grow taller before I was done with puberty.  Cassie.  The hands I used to pick up ducklings for bottle feedings, the knees I braced with when I was lifting a bale of hay, the voice that everyone said sounded just like my mom — My mom!  Dr. Michelle Rhonda Osei.
  • By the time I was done tearing my human body from the ground, I was laughing so hard I was fully hyperventilating from the insanity of it all.  I was me.  Me.
  • "Morphing," I whispered into the grass, where termites couldn't hear me and wouldn't care.  "I just had to complete a morph, and it healed me.  Of course!"
  • I was on the ground, just into the edge of the woods.  It felt like I'd walked for hours in termite morph, in search of that dead queen, and maybe I had.  But I'd only made it about fifteen feet in that time.  Still, I was away.  That'd been way too close.  If that enormous wind-monster-thing hadn't happened to show up just as I was starting to morph...

• And then I stood up. I turned around.  And then I just stood there, looking over the clearing, for a very long time.

• It'd ripped them all apart.  I took nearly an hour to confirm, going from body to body trying to find anyone intact enough to bother checking for a pulse.  Nine of them, I thought, though it was hard to tell with so little left of some.  I could recognize now the two clusters that had formed when I had walked out of the woods: full members.  And innocent civilians.  All dead now.  For what?

  • Water.  Owen, or maybe Tom — oh god, Tom, I was going to have to be the one to tell Jake — had yelled for water, in the last seconds before the many-toothed alien thing had gotten them.  So the controllers had known what it was.  And they'd thought water could save them.
  • I threw up, when I was done.  I'd been swallowing it down for a while, but at some point I was so spent I couldn't anymore.  I wiped tears and snot off my face, when I wiped my mouth, and I didn't care.  Maybe I should have been glad, at least six of my enemies dead — seven if you counted what I suspected about that thermometer — but I couldn't bring myself to be even bittersweet about it when there were nine of my own species slaughtered around me.

• "Okay," I whispered.  It was a day for talking to myself.  Like soothing a spooked horse.  "Okay, Cassie.  Get home, and get the others.  Tell Ja—"  I stopped, then, because that part I couldn't say out loud.  But I finally knew who I was, and what I had to do next.

  • So I focused on my inner osprey, the morph that had gotten me into this.  And I started to change.
  • I saw the dust monster coming this time.  With osprey eyes, of course I did.  And I flew like the devil trying to get away.  But even my wings were no match for its speed, and before I knew it I was surrounded by those terrible ripping blades.
  • Closing my eyes then, I gave in.  The way I hadn't, not even to the termite mind.  But I was so tired, I couldn't bring myself to care.

• To my surprise, it didn't devour me.  It simply carried me, enveloped in its mass, so surrounded by dust that I couldn't see out.  And when at last it opened itself, I was dumped into the bridge of a spaceship.  A spaceship manned by hork-bajir, and taxxons, and exactly one andalite whose face was all too familiar by now.

  • «Cassie?» a voice behind me said.
  • Scrabbling around on my talons, I found myself face-to-face with a gorilla inside a steel-sided cage.  «Marco?»
  • He crossed his arms, tilting his chin down at me.  «Where have you been all day, young lady?  We've been looking all over for you, which is how Ax and I ended up blown to Oz by the Wicked Witch of the East over there.»
  • Marco.  It was Marco.  I wanted to laugh, and cry, and hug him, and then cry a whole lot more.  «It's not a cyclone,» I said instead.  «It's called a Veleek.  And I think I know how to beat it.»
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I thought it was going to be Tobias getting re-nothlited as a human at first.

@nachtare I did consider that idea! But Tobias can't morph as of MM1, so I had to set it aside.

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Kids shouldn't have to be our heroes. Not in reality, and not on TV.

The recent news of Jennette McCurdy coming out as yet another child star abused by Hollywood made me want to say it outright: I don't want an Animorphs adaptation starring actual kids.

I want an animated series voiced by adults, or by kids who work <10 hours a week. I want a movie where babyfaced adults play pretend. I want a digital deaging of unionized talent who earn a living wage and want to be there. If nothing else, I want a movie made like the Narnia series: filmed on a yearlong string of Saturdays so that the child stars never missed a day of school, letting the voice cracks and zits happen as they would. I want a pretend version of my favorite pretend story to be made by people who have full sets of citizen rights, the skills necessary to negotiate their own contracts, and the ability both to enjoy the work they do and to walk away if necessary.

I just want to say it because in the past I've poked fun at AniTV for having a 27-year-old play a 14-year-old, and because I've loudly advocated for diverse casting that matches actors' identities to characters'. But I'm mocking the unconvincing 14-year-old in the same spirit I'm mocking the unconvincing skunk puppets and tiger stock footage. And I'm advocating for disabled parts to go to disabled actors, who are adults who can self-advocate. I'd rather my 14-year-olds were played by 27-year-olds than have any 14-year-olds ever star in TV shows, with all the scrutiny and body-shaming and missed education and exploitation that comes with doing that kind of job while also not legally allowed to own property or get a different job or renegotiate your own contracts.

Anyway. That's all.

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@thejakeformerlyknownasprince I remember the MM1 adaptation and that it was pretty good, but I don't remember anything about the #6 adaptation. There are just particular lines of both Richard Sali and "Victor Trent" from the #2-based episode which stuck with me for two decades, though. I would say both exuded their characters really well in that episode. (I did once see it as an adult, twenty years past the original airing, and remember feeling the same way.)

[Starting a new post for an off-topic reply.]

Hard agree. I think the best AniTV episodes are the ones that work within the budget, even (especially) when that means a loose adaptation. And I agree about MM1 and #2's adaptations having good moments as a result.

Like, the adaptation of #6 works because it doesn't have the budget to show Temrash 114 cycling through Jake's morphs in an effort to escape — it instead has to depict psychological warfare. I love everything that ensues: Temrash laughing that "Tom" will "take one look at [Ax] and turn him over to Visser Three." Bringing up Jake's memories of Cassie, and threatening to hurt Jake if she doesn't let him go. Calling Tobias "a scavenger... a pet that sits on Rachel's arm." Calmly assuring Jake that "we break humans the way humans break horses" while showing him an image of Tom crying on the floor. It works, surprisingly well.

The MM1 episode is weakest when it's trying to adapt the book, but it does depart, to its strength — Rachel can't remember morphing, so she has to break out of shoe-lady's house the hard way. Marco points out that she's likely to be a controller, and that's why she's acting so out of character. Rachel sensibly approaches a nonprofit group called The Sharing to ask them for help, and almost gets infested before Jake saves her. Instead of the weird truck thing, she just regains her memory as soon as she morphs the first time.

Same for the #2 adaptation. I love that Rachel's motivation gets changed from "uhh, let's try something?" to a) trying to find out if the yeerks know of any technology that could get Tobias back to human shape, and b) responding to the red flags of child abuse that Melissa is throwing left and right. It helps that the controllers are all better-acted than the Animorphs — I can't tell if it's just easier to convey an alien who doesn't quite know how to human than it is to convey a human, or if it's that the actors are all trained adults. But the eps (like this, or the MM4 one) that lean into controllers being creepy are almost always better than the ones that involve lots of morphing.

David Lynch is not David Cronenberg, and AniTV works best when it leans into the former rather than the latter.

Hard yes. There are tons of good character moments with the kids being kids — in Cassie's barn, in the food court, at home. Heck, that stupid school dance plot gave us some of the best characterization in the show.

Whereas many of AniTV's worst moments are the ones that try the hardest to adapt the books:

  • In the MM1 episode, still having Rachel get a TBI from flying into a tree — only they don't have the budget for her to get mobbed by jays, so she randomly dives out of the sky to body-slam a tree for no reason. Why not have her fall off a balance beam or get shot by controllers?
  • The adaptation of #10 keeping the moment Erek saves a dog from a car, only the edit makes it look like he sits there holding a dog in the middle of an empty street until a car comes by 30 seconds later and easily drives around them. Y'all couldn't cut your clips tighter to get even a modicum of tension across?
  • Having the moment where Rachel falls in the yeerk pool from the #17 adaptation, but as a human not a bat. Which creates the glaring problem of why isn't she a controller, never addressed. Unless Marco's right and she secretly is a controller for 80% of the series, which would at least explain why she's whiny and useless instead of badass and scary.
  • Same goes for a character morphing a fly and getting swatted. It's scary in #16 because it leads into a sequence of all Jake's friends trying to literally peel him off the ceiling and drag his falling-apart body to safety. In AniTV, it just looks like the show casually killed off Rachel and then forgot about it.
  • There are like 8 other moments where you find yourself going "Oh my god, they killed Tobias! You bastards!" only to have him pop up the following episode like nothing happened. And I think those are attempts to convey how much peril the kids are in and how frequently they take fatal injuries in the books... just with 0 budget and godawful editing.
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@thejakeformerlyknownasprince I remember the MM1 adaptation and that it was pretty good, but I don't remember anything about the #6 adaptation. There are just particular lines of both Richard Sali and "Victor Trent" from the #2-based episode which stuck with me for two decades, though. I would say both exuded their characters really well in that episode. (I did once see it as an adult, twenty years past the original airing, and remember feeling the same way.)

[Starting a new post for an off-topic reply.]

Hard agree. I think the best AniTV episodes are the ones that work within the budget, even (especially) when that means a loose adaptation. And I agree about MM1 and #2's adaptations having good moments as a result.

Like, the adaptation of #6 works because it doesn't have the budget to show Temrash 114 cycling through Jake's morphs in an effort to escape — it instead has to depict psychological warfare. I love everything that ensues: Temrash laughing that "Tom" will "take one look at [Ax] and turn him over to Visser Three." Bringing up Jake's memories of Cassie, and threatening to hurt Jake if she doesn't let him go. Calling Tobias "a scavenger... a pet that sits on Rachel's arm." Calmly assuring Jake that "we break humans the way humans break horses" while showing him an image of Tom crying on the floor. It works, surprisingly well.

The MM1 episode is weakest when it's trying to adapt the book, but it does depart, to its strength — Rachel can't remember morphing, so she has to break out of shoe-lady's house the hard way. Marco points out that she's likely to be a controller, and that's why she's acting so out of character. Rachel sensibly approaches a nonprofit group called The Sharing to ask them for help, and almost gets infested before Jake saves her. Instead of the weird truck thing, she just regains her memory as soon as she morphs the first time.

Same for the #2 adaptation. I love that Rachel's motivation gets changed from "uhh, let's try something?" to a) trying to find out if the yeerks know of any technology that could get Tobias back to human shape, and b) responding to the red flags of child abuse that Melissa is throwing left and right. It helps that the controllers are all better-acted than the Animorphs — I can't tell if it's just easier to convey an alien who doesn't quite know how to human than it is to convey a human, or if it's that the actors are all trained adults. But the eps (like this, or the MM4 one) that lean into controllers being creepy are almost always better than the ones that involve lots of morphing.

David Lynch is not David Cronenberg, and AniTV works best when it leans into the former rather than the latter.

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Is Ax/Marco AniTV canon?

Seriously.  Was the last Animorphs episode a case of “we’re already cancelled, so let’s openly queer the protagonists”?  (See: Legend of Korra, The 100, Supernatural, Being Human, Gotham, The Owl House, Angel, etc.)

I was rewatching AniTV, and I’m starting to think they made Ax/Marco canon.  Most of that last episode is about the kids getting ready for a school dance.  There’s a whole sequence where Marco convinces Ax to morph a rabbit, so that he can have a cute pet to attract girls — only as soon as a girl starts talking to Marco, Ax starts freaking out and scares her away.  Later, lizard-morphed-Marco gets grabbed by a teacher and stuck in a cage, and starts yelling for his friends in thought-speak, but only Ax hears his cries.  He rushes out of the dance to rescue Marco, the school gym gets destroyed by yeerks (off-screen), and they relocate the dance to the mall.  The last shot of the show is all six of them slow-dancing: Tobias with Rachel, Jake with Cassie — and Marco with Ax.

[Image ID: Screenshot from AniTV showing 6 couples dancing in a room with a green floor, green tables, and gray chairs.  There are two couples of extras dancing in the background and one in the foreground, but the camera is focused on Tobias and Rachel (in a white jacket and a pink dress, respectively) while Jake and Cassie (in a black tuxedo and red dress) and Marco and Ax (in jeans and in a blue suit) dance on either side of them.  Marco and Ax are indicated with an orange circle.]

I’d always kind of dismissed that moment as being some combination of “pair the spares” and “lol so funniez when 2 boys together” (it is the 1990s, after all.)  However, on rewatching, several things stood out to me.

  1. This is the last-ever episode of AniTV.  The one with yeerks in cell phones aired after, but was filmed before, and this ep was meant to be the finale.
  2. It’s not just that Marco and Ax dance together; it’s that Marco sits down next to Ax (so close they’re touching), looks him in the eye, invites him to dance, holds his hand, and pulls their bodies together.  Not quite a silly friend dynamic.
  3. They’re dancing in the same pose and manner as Rachel/Tobias and Cassie/Jake, both of whom are confirmed romantic couples.
  4. The whole episode kinda has Ax/Marco undertones.  “Friend 1 tries to get various dates with Friend 2 as support, doesn’t realize until late in the story that Friend 2 was their love all along” is a classic teen-romance setup, and that’s basically Ax and Marco’s plot this episode.
  5. It’s a weird choice to end the show on this note, given that this is Part 3 of a 3-part finale and yet the other two parts are about an animal-testing cosmetics company and a secret ex-controller group.  However, if the writers chose to have this be the focus of the last episode because it’s the last episode, arguably that makes more sense.
  6. Just… this is more-romantic framing than I initially realized.

[Image ID: Screenshot from AniTV Marco (in a gray shirt) leaning close to Ax, who wears a powder-blue suit jacket and bright blue bow tie.  Marco is holding Ax’s hand in the foreground, and Ax’s other arm is wrapped around Marco’s shoulders.]

Anyway, I’ve never seen any of the creators comment to confirm or deny it, so I have no idea if that was authorial intent or not.  But this is more than Beauty and the Beast or Legend of Korra ever gave us, in scenes known to have the intent of depicting a canonical queer romance.  And it’s more than I ever realized we got, from an undeniably crappy show that might still have this little spark of bisexual hope at the end.

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Anonymous asked:

Inanemorphs thought:

Some decades after the war, there's a Stranger Things type show where instead of teens working at an ice cream shop like Stranger Things, they're at a knockoff Cinnabon or Dunkin Donuts and discover some kind of shapeshifter/changeling/replaced loved ones. It's very clearly nostalgia/tribute to an era but also occasionally dealing with the Horrors? How would the Animorphs react

The comparison to Stranger Things is key, because IMHO the most interesting thing about that show is its ambivalence toward the 1980s. Both in the way it's nostalgic and critical toward the '80s, but also in the way it struggles to balance recreating vs. critiquing the norms of the time.

Like, look at the treatment of Soviet characters. There's clearly an effort to acknowledge Not All Russians, with sympathetic characters in Dmitri and Oleg, and even likeable scoundrels in Yuri and Melnikov. BUT the show still has Evil Greedy Soviet Scientists as its main villains, and still portrays everything in Russia as rusty/dirty in contrast to the pristine advanced U.S. settings. It's no Atomic Blonde, but it's no Red Dawn either.

Same goes for the issue of race. The show at first replicates the "one token Black kid in a 99% white cast" dynamic of '80s fiction which fucking sucks. BUT it has its only Black boy date a white girl, which would be unlikely to happen in a real '80s show. BUT it confines its discussion of racism to 2 - 3 isolated moments perpetrated by Bad People. BUT it also tackles the reality of kids being confronted with teens' and adults' hate, again in a way a real 80s show might not.

Same goes for gender (every boy must have a crush on the One Girl in each generation, BUT the girls get fleshed out as much as the boys). Same goes for queerness (replicating the coy hints Eddie's queer with no confirmation, BUT having Robin be an out lesbian supported by her friends). So on.

I think Stranger Things does an excellent job of doing a simultaneous homage and deconstruction of fiction from that era — Stephen King, Ridley Scott, John Hughes, Stephen Spielberg — but fumbles when trying to find a middle ground on realities of that era.

Anyway, people who were American teens at the end of the Cold War probably have a different perspective on all this than I do, because I know those media but I have little/no nostalgia for them.

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I was building toward a point about Animorphs, I swear!

If this hypothetical show is about capturing the general vibes of Yeerk War-era California, without actually trying to be about the Yeerk War, then I think it'd probably go over better with the people involved. (There's no such thing as lightly fictionalizing real people without offending them somehow.) So if the show doesn't have morphing and never shows the yeerk pool onscreen, then it might be able to walk the same tightrope as Stranger Things.

Whether the Animorphs would like the subsequent show is a different matter entirely. Trauma and dark humor are the ultimate case of Your Mileage May Vary — some veterans are obsessed with combat-based shows and games, while some can't even channel surf for fear of encountering war movies in passing. Hearing someone joke about a condition you both have is a soap bubble of joy; hearing someone joke about a condition they don't have is a frozen gut-punch of shock. So on.

The show would have to be clever and well-informed (by Jean? by Erek?) in order to please Marco. It would have to avoid stereotyping aliens in order to please Cassie. It would need to be short and direct to please Ax, and avoid being too realistic to please Jake. Tobias probably wouldn't be happy about it no matter what, but if it took the time to give homages to Rachel then I could see him grudgingly respecting its existence.

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i've finally decided to throw the animorphs tv show on, just in the background, because i've never been able to slog past the first two episodes (mainly due to my extreme aversion to how wrong they do it all) and it just gets worse, overall, but visser three has me grinning and giggling and shit because That's Him. That's Him right there.

there had to have been a better way to do that morphing bit though. right.

this cant be real

I honestly don't remember much of the TV show - I tried recording it because it was on just after my bedtime, but I missed too many episodes I think and just gave up. Visser Three monologuing to a random researcher who is just trying to build something feels right, though. I bet that's how he spends any time he has that isn't spent petting cats or going on alien safari.

There are a couple of really great moments in the show, and I feel like they deserve to stand on their own - I’m thinking of things like V3’s monologues, and a fantastic scene in I think S2E1 where Tobias has a lovely heartfelt chat with Elfangor, and Jake eating escargot while staring V3 dead in the face, and all of Ax’s behavior while he’s morphed Jake during their take on The Capture + Temrash trying to flirt with Cassie to get her to let him go

but the production values really leave a lot to be desired

The Capture is the best episode.

  • Temrash gets to be manipulative as fuck. Calling Tobias a pet who sits on Rachel's shoulder? Playing on Cassie’s empathy for Jake? Threatening to hurt Jake if they don't let him go? *chef's kiss*
  • Ax pretending to be Jake is hilarious. The overconfidence. The advice from Marco: girls, sports, girls playing sports, these are the entire contents of Jake's brain. The reaction shots of Tom trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.
  • All the different mannerisms between the three different Jakes -- original flavor, controller, andalite morph -- are perfect, subtle enough to be creepy but exaggerated enough to be funny. Every actor should have an identical twin.

But this is also the episode that spent its entire special effects budget on having Jake float in circles in purple mist to get across a conversation that could've been better conveyed with voice-over. Sooo...

Also......I don't think V3 is entirely wrong here, about why Andalites morph. They would never admit it, but maybe there is a fear component to it, or a feeling like their normal form is inadequate. We think they are quite powerful because compared to everything humanity knows/has encountered, they are. But we don't know the full extent of what all they've seen. There may indeed be something out there that makes them feel that way, too.

Makes it a little scarier when the villain isn't entirely wrong.

Yes! And they're canonically prey animals with prey instincts. That defensiveness goes deep.

Wait, they're prey animals? Where was that mentioned? I must've missed it.

Ellimist Chronicles goes into how Toomin was originally attracted to andalites for his games because they're kinda pathetic and get eaten a lot, and Andalite Chronicles mentions that andalites' need for open space reflects the fact that they're ingrained with a need to be able to run away at any time. I think in #33 Tobias also mentions getting prey instincts — a constant need to see in all directions being the obvious one — when he morphs andalite.

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i've finally decided to throw the animorphs tv show on, just in the background, because i've never been able to slog past the first two episodes (mainly due to my extreme aversion to how wrong they do it all) and it just gets worse, overall, but visser three has me grinning and giggling and shit because That's Him. That's Him right there.

there had to have been a better way to do that morphing bit though. right.

this cant be real

I honestly don't remember much of the TV show - I tried recording it because it was on just after my bedtime, but I missed too many episodes I think and just gave up. Visser Three monologuing to a random researcher who is just trying to build something feels right, though. I bet that's how he spends any time he has that isn't spent petting cats or going on alien safari.

There are a couple of really great moments in the show, and I feel like they deserve to stand on their own - I’m thinking of things like V3’s monologues, and a fantastic scene in I think S2E1 where Tobias has a lovely heartfelt chat with Elfangor, and Jake eating escargot while staring V3 dead in the face, and all of Ax’s behavior while he’s morphed Jake during their take on The Capture + Temrash trying to flirt with Cassie to get her to let him go

but the production values really leave a lot to be desired

The Capture is the best episode.

  • Temrash gets to be manipulative as fuck. Calling Tobias a pet who sits on Rachel's shoulder? Playing on Cassie’s empathy for Jake? Threatening to hurt Jake if they don't let him go? *chef's kiss*
  • Ax pretending to be Jake is hilarious. The overconfidence. The advice from Marco: girls, sports, girls playing sports, these are the entire contents of Jake's brain. The reaction shots of Tom trying to figure out what the fuck is going on.
  • All the different mannerisms between the three different Jakes -- original flavor, controller, andalite morph -- are perfect, subtle enough to be creepy but exaggerated enough to be funny. Every actor should have an identical twin.

But this is also the episode that spent its entire special effects budget on having Jake float in circles in purple mist to get across a conversation that could've been better conveyed with voice-over. Sooo...

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So here's one. Not Animorphs vs HP or the Gaang, but Animorphs (books) vs Animorphs(TV)

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That is completely horrifying, because book-Animorphs would ANNIHILATE the AniTV-Animorphs in, like, 30 seconds flat.

So...

AniTV-Animorphs Advantages

  • Mindfuckery.  AniTV-Jake’s greatest weapon is the Deeply Uncomfortable Stare.  This is a boy unafraid to gaze directly at you for 30+ seconds, sometimes while also sensuously eating snails.   Whether this would work on book-Animorphs is questionable, but it’s definitely something.
  • The Interwebs.  Marco and Ax both pull off some impressive feats (hacking the yeerk mainframe, reprogramming a rental card into a skeleton key, taking control of NBC) just by typing really fast and/or rubbing a Blockbuster card on Ax’s nipples.  The tech battle is theirs.
  • Lack of ethical boundaries.  I know it’s surprising I’m rolling this up under super-silly AniTV, but the show’s light tone comes at the expense of the kids actually considering the consequences of their actions.  AniTV-Animorphs dump oatmeal in the yeerk pool without thinking twice, morph humans at the drop of a hat, tell jokes while collapsing the yeerk pool and killing several dozen prisoners, and discuss morphing yeerks to forcibly control others’ bodies.  Jake tries to kill Tom at least three times, and once he’s laughing while he does it.  At one point they celebrate the discovery that the war is ongoing through having a group hug.  These kids are the Howlers of their own universe, cheerfully “playing” the “game” of slaughtering their defenseless enemies.

AniTV-Animorphs Disadvantages

  • Number of morphs.  The kids have only 3 - 4 morphs apiece, and many of those are of questionable utility (butterfly, iguana).  The book team has 50+ morphs apiece by the end of the series.
  • Strength of morphs.  The Gardens doesn’t appear to exist in this universe, which helps to explain why Jake’s tiger and Rachel’s lion are the only battle morphs we ever see.  Cassie uses horse, Ax uses skunk, Marco uses dog, and Tobias doesn’t really morph.  If they’re up against five mega-predators and an andalite, they don’t stand a chance.
  • Team dynamics.  With few exceptions, the whole team never goes on missions together.  They do things in groups of two or three, and rarely work together as a group of six.
  • Pointless romcom bullshit.  There are several instances where the kids on this team just... don’t share crucial information for no reason.  Cassie spends 80% of an episode lying about morph allergies.  Jake’s willing to risk death to avoid admitting he likes Cassie.  Ax builds and hides an entire working spaceship.  Tobias conceals tons of intel (his group of ex-hosts, his morphing ability, Elfangor’s hirac dilest) from the team until forced to disclose it.  None of these decisions is ever explained in context, outside of Plot Tension around when the kids will or won’t Find Out The Thing.  Not a good sign for team coherence.

Book-Animorphs Advantages

  • Combat experience.  They actually fight controllers on a fairly regular basis, whereas their TV counterparts mostly just growl from a distance.
  • Civilian identities.  Thank goodness for book-Marco, who keeps the kids from being too obviously a team when they’re in civilian spaces.  It means their secret identities can survive far closer calls.
  • Versatility and variety of morphs.  They’ve got water, flying, ground, psychic, bug, fighting, ice, dark, grass, and poison morphs.  All they need is ghost, dragon, and fairy.  Almost regardless of the setting, they’re more likely to have a well-suited morph than the AniTV kids do.
  • Andalite dexterity and skill.  Ax jumps 10 vertical feet and 30 horizontal feet, backward in heels, in #21.  His tail is powerful enough and sharp enough to behead a human with a single strike in MM3.  He is impossible to sneak up upon because of his constant all-directions-at-once vision.  AniTV Ax is just a human with blue fur and blinky horns who at one point gets defeated by a human-controller with a lasso.
  • Level grinding.  These kids go on more missions, harder missions, more varied missions, and missions against much scarier enemies than AniTV kids do.  Along the way they rack up far more skills and greater morphing experience.
  • Allies.  Toby and her hork-bajir exist in this universe, as does Afran and the Yeerk Peace Movement.  Plus, book-Erek is a lot more ruthless and violent than show-Erek ever becomes.

Book-Animorphs Disadvantages

  • Mostly just the fact that they make an effort not to kill humans if they can help it.  Which is more than their TV counterparts can say.
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They accidentally switch places and end the war in two universes with no effort. The Book-Animorphs attack the ridiculously small Yeerk Pool in their usual way and those Yeerks crap their pants and flee the planet immediately. Meanwhile AniTV Animorphs just walk into the Book Yeerk Pool, take one look at the place, and decide what it really needs is another dose of oatmeal. AniTV Ax finds a console and sets the Yeerk Pool Ship to self destruct from there while casually commenting that he would like to go for Cinnabon later.

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Anonymous asked:

anitv Jake did WHAT

The episode "Face/Off Pt. 3" is a classic combination of AniTV having some plot ideas with fascinating potential... and then executing those ideas so badly the show is nigh-unwatchable.

Various Animorphs are running around the yeerk pool, (Rachel is in Tobias's brain as a yeerk to defeat the Gleet Biofilter, speaking of cool ideas that got wasted) in the season finale. Jake drags Tom into a back room, and when the controllers break down the door, there are two identical copies of Tom standing there. It's kinda cool that the audience also doesn't know which one's Tom and which is Jake, because both of them immediately start shouting about how the other one is an imposter and the controllers should shoot that guy.

For the rest of the episode — which switches to focus on how Marco collapses the entire yeerk pool cavern by pulling down a single ceiling tile and throwing it against a pillar (go figure) — there are two copies of Tom running around. There's some dramatic tension when we see one of the Toms get crushed to death by falling rubble and don't know if Jake just died, as well as in a later scene where one of the Toms walks in on Cassie mid-morph. That Tom demorphs into Jake, has the honestly kinda funny line "Phew! My parents were about thirty seconds away from having a set of identical twins." Original flavor Tom is dead in the basement, but that's fine, because the Animorphs are off to a dance party. Also, Tom's back two episodes later with no explanation because Melissa Chapman needs a boyfriend. Sigh. So much potential, so badly wasted.

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You know what part about that makes me apoplectic? That they wasted the fact that the actor who played Jake has an identical twin brother!

There were identical twin actors in the episode where Jake's a controller (one plays controller-Jake, and one Ax-as-Jake) but you're right that they appear to have filmed Face-Off by just having the actor who plays Tom stand in next to a mirror and/or sprint off-camera to appear twice in the same panorama. Sometimes the oldest tricks are the best?

In defense of Real Tom being buried alive and coming back, being crushed isn't entirely lethal. You gotta squish the head and ribs if you want that to happen. If his head was protected a little and he had room to breathe, he could've been dug out by rescue crews and then sent home with horrific volleyball injuries, as is the standard for Sharing meetings, and or treated with seen-once-and-never-again alien healing technology like polarized bacta stem cell treatments. He's just lucky AniTV didn't have Taxxons. But on the other hand, if AniTV had Taxxons, the Pool wouldn't have collapsed. Burrowing creatures are not going to have a lair where the loss of a single support pillar (to a ceiling tile of all things) would bring the whole thing down. So it all works out in the end.

1. I desperately want AniTV to throw in 3 seconds of Tom's voice-over going "ow! I am severely injured but not dead!" but... maybe he was unconscious?

2. "horrific volleyball injuries, as is the standard for Sharing meetings" => I ugly-laughed so hard.

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Anonymous asked:

anitv Jake did WHAT

The episode "Face/Off Pt. 3" is a classic combination of AniTV having some plot ideas with fascinating potential... and then executing those ideas so badly the show is nigh-unwatchable.

Various Animorphs are running around the yeerk pool, (Rachel is in Tobias's brain as a yeerk to defeat the Gleet Biofilter, speaking of cool ideas that got wasted) in the season finale. Jake drags Tom into a back room, and when the controllers break down the door, there are two identical copies of Tom standing there. It's kinda cool that the audience also doesn't know which one's Tom and which is Jake, because both of them immediately start shouting about how the other one is an imposter and the controllers should shoot that guy.

For the rest of the episode — which switches to focus on how Marco collapses the entire yeerk pool cavern by pulling down a single ceiling tile and throwing it against a pillar (go figure) — there are two copies of Tom running around. There's some dramatic tension when we see one of the Toms get crushed to death by falling rubble and don't know if Jake just died, as well as in a later scene where one of the Toms walks in on Cassie mid-morph. That Tom demorphs into Jake, has the honestly kinda funny line "Phew! My parents were about thirty seconds away from having a set of identical twins." Original flavor Tom is dead in the basement, but that's fine, because the Animorphs are off to a dance party. Also, Tom's back two episodes later with no explanation because Melissa Chapman needs a boyfriend. Sigh. So much potential, so badly wasted.

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You know what part about that makes me apoplectic? That they wasted the fact that the actor who played Jake has an identical twin brother!

There were identical twin actors in the episode where Jake's a controller (one plays controller-Jake, and one Ax-as-Jake) but you're right that they appear to have filmed Face-Off by just having the actor who plays Tom stand in next to a mirror and/or sprint off-camera to appear twice in the same panorama. Sometimes the oldest tricks are the best?

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Reblogged
Anonymous asked:

anitv Jake did WHAT

The episode "Face/Off Pt. 3" is a classic combination of AniTV having some plot ideas with fascinating potential... and then executing those ideas so badly the show is nigh-unwatchable.

Various Animorphs are running around the yeerk pool, (Rachel is in Tobias's brain as a yeerk to defeat the Gleet Biofilter, speaking of cool ideas that got wasted) in the season finale. Jake drags Tom into a back room, and when the controllers break down the door, there are two identical copies of Tom standing there. It's kinda cool that the audience also doesn't know which one's Tom and which is Jake, because both of them immediately start shouting about how the other one is an imposter and the controllers should shoot that guy.

For the rest of the episode — which switches to focus on how Marco collapses the entire yeerk pool cavern by pulling down a single ceiling tile and throwing it against a pillar (go figure) — there are two copies of Tom running around. There's some dramatic tension when we see one of the Toms get crushed to death by falling rubble and don't know if Jake just died, as well as in a later scene where one of the Toms walks in on Cassie mid-morph. That Tom demorphs into Jake, has the honestly kinda funny line "Phew! My parents were about thirty seconds away from having a set of identical twins." Original flavor Tom is dead in the basement, but that's fine, because the Animorphs are off to a dance party. Also, Tom's back two episodes later with no explanation because Melissa Chapman needs a boyfriend. Sigh. So much potential, so badly wasted.

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You know what part about that makes me apoplectic? That they wasted the fact that the actor who played Jake has an identical twin brother!

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You talked about how Jake and Tobias thought the treehouse from A-town was a genuinely good idea, and that makes me wonder if you think there’s any other good ideas from it the Animorphs thought they could have done? Also, how would A-Town have been different in the canon ending where Tom and Rachel both died?

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[For those of you just tuning in: A-Town is the shitty postwar sitcom inspired by the life of Jake Berenson, to the eternal annoyance of Jake Berenson.]

Pt 1. Since A-Town is inspired by AniTV, I think it'd be less a matter of the Animorphs going "huh, the fauximorphs sometimes have good ideas", more a matter of them going "thank GOD the real Yeerk Empire never thought to do that thing The Gathering just did." Because the show's lack of effects budget means their yeerks are forced to be a lot subtler than the ones we see in canon.

So like AniTV, A-Town would probably have a bunch of B-plots with The Gathering offering perks that are actually hard to resist (e.g. disaster relief, much-needed health care). It'd have a bunch of extras from Brandon's town pop up in the yeerk pool, to save money but also to ramp up paranoia. It'd imply that controllers are harder to kill than ordinary humans. It'd use the plots with yeerks in cell phones, yeerk tech inside computers, yeerks tapping phones and security cameras. None of this is meant to be super-creepy — the phone-tapping plot is used to engineer a romantic misunderstanding between J.J. and Trina, while the lacrosse coach being a controller sets up a bunch of gags with Brandon almost getting caught morphing in the locker room — but from the Animorphs' point of view, it's super creepy to watch.

Pt. 2. Honestly I don't know that the show would get made at all if the inspiration for Daisy A. is dead. Even for these writers, that might be taking things too far. Like, in canon there would almost certainly be some kind of TV show about the war, but it wouldn't be A-Town.

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Anonymous asked:

the ask about a new Animorphs tv show! i love your thoughts and I specifically have thought a lot about how the show should ideally be split into seasons. my vision is 3 seasons, with season 1 being books 1-19, as well as the first two megamorph books and the Andalite Chronicles. I think book 19 is the perfect place for a season finale because that could be a legit fakeout over whether cassie is leaving, and with season 2 and david, that would be a fakeout of a new main character! (1/3)

(animorph tv seasons anon) 2/3 obviously the david trilogy would be an epic s2 opener, in no small part inspired by the three part episode opener of s2 of deep space nine, the star trek series that has the most similar themes to animorphs and is AMAZING. then s2 would also include megamorphs #3, hork bajir chronicles, and end with the epic season finale of visser, probably a 2 part episode at least. hork bajir chronicles would also be a very epic episode - s2 is already my fave to imagine!
animorphs new TV show seasons anon, ask (3/4) lastly season 3 beginning after visser would obviously include many of the weaker ghostwritten installments of the series, like you mentioned in your post. I think the show ideally could lean into this by featuring them as cold opens or so, but then focus the final season more on tying up important loose ends like Yeerk Peace Movement or exploring more of the Hork Bajir valley, and of course spending LOTS of the season on the build-up to the finale
so whoops it became 4 asks instead lol, but about animorphs tv show: yes in short I totally agree with your ideas like more Rachel in the end, and introducing James earlier. my main question is then should #54 be a double-length episode. in IDEAL world, it would also include things that your fics made me think about like ex-controller rights and fighting to be recognized as POWs, and so many things that easily could've happened offscreen in #54. Might as well go fully idealized here!
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I would swap Andalite and Hork-Bajir Chronicles, because I feel like the Andalite Chronicles works best directly after #23, and the Hork-Bajir Chronicles fits nicely just before #18, providing us a big shift on how we view hork-bajir, andalites, and yeerks in a building crescendo.

Visser is an excellent Season 2 finale, I agree, both as a paradigm shift and by showing that the thing that defeats the yeerk empire is not going to be primarily the Animorphs, but the yeerk empire itself, and all the enemies it’s made both external and internal.

Also, hot take, but I would set Book #41 inside Megamorphs 3. Show it that when Jake dies from his perspective he is catapulted to the trippy judgmental vision of #41.

And I would definitely keep some of the framing parts of #41 and recycle them in other places, because the human-controller who is so cold but the yeerk can’t leave is still one of the most haunting and evocative images in the series for me.

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