God, high school is such a stupid time. I just remembered The High School Prom Slow Dance and how freaking dramatic it was and I shudder at the memory.
(Source: miseriathome)
One time in high school, we had to write a short “essay” on the end of the world, like if we thought it would end, or when, or how. And I wrote mine on how personal perception shapes each of our individual worlds, and how those world are constantly ending, because each moment changes the established world, by subverting expectations or providing new information or closing off possibilities or opening up new ones. I also tied this in with hyperbolic colloquialisms (”ugh, my life is over”) and romantic notions about the material world (every 7 or whatever years, you are a new person on a cellular level).
This might have been for the class where I knew the teacher was a staunch non-determinist? (Free will gave him hope, whereas any mention of determinism made him existential.) But I think this once again speaks to my capacity to undermine unchallenged social scripts and to think about the implications of unspoken semantics and assumptions.
(Source: miseriathome)
I wrote this post out once but my laptop crashed… and it’s important enough that I’m writing it again.
(Source: miseriathome)
What helps during a flashback?
If you realize that you are in the middle of a flashback, consider the following tips:
- Tell yourself that you are having a flashback. Remind yourself that the actual event is over and that you survived.
- Breathe. Take slow, deep breaths by placing your hand on your stomach and taking deep breaths. You should see your hand move out with the inhalations, and watch it fall in with the exhalations. When we panic, our body begins to take short, shallow breaths, and the decrease in oxygen can make you feel more panicked. Deep breathing is important because it increases the oxygen in your system and helps you move out of anxious state faster.
- Return to the present by using the five senses.
- Recognize what would make you feel safer. Wrap yourself in a blanket, or go into a room by yourself and close the door. Do whatever it takes for you to feel secure.
- Look around you. Make a list of the items in the room; count the colors or pieces of furniture around you. What do you see?
- Breathe in a comforting scent, or focus on the smells around you. What do you smell?
- Listen to the noises around you, or turn on music. What do you hear?
- Eat or drink something you enjoy. Focus on the flavor. What do you taste?
- Hold something cold, like a piece of ice, or hot, like a mug of tea. What does it feel like?
- Reorient to the present. Begin to use your five senses in the present. Look around and see the colors in the room, the shapes of things, the people near, etc. Listen to the sounds in the room: your breathing, traffic, birds, people, cars, etc. Feel your body and what is touching it: your clothes, your own arms and hands, the chair, or the floor supporting you.
- Get in touch with your need for boundaries. Sometimes when we are having a flashback we lose the sense of where we leave off and the world begins; as if we do not have skin. Wrap yourself in a blanket, hold a pillow or stuffed animal, go to bed, sit in a closet, any way that you can feel yourself truly protected from the outside.
- Get support. Depending on your situation you may need to be alone or may want someone near you. In either case it is important that your close ones know about flashbacks so they can help with the process, whether that means letting you be by yourself or being there.
- Take the time to recover. Sometimes flashbacks are very powerful. Give yourself time to make the transition form this powerful experience. Don’t expect yourself to jump into adult activities right away. Take a nap, a warm bath, or some quiet time. Be kind and gentle with yourself. Do not beat yourself up for having a flashback.
- Honor your experience. Appreciate yourself for having survived that horrible time. Respect your body’s need to experience a full range of feelings.
- Be patient. It takes time to heal the past. It takes time to learn appropriate ways of taking care of yourself, of being an adult who has feelings, and developing effective ways of coping in the here and now.
* Name 5 things you can see.
If you begin to feel dissociated, or just want to induce physical relaxation, try these simple instructions:
- Name 5 things you can hear.
- Name 5 things you can feel.
- Name 4 things that you see.
- Name 4 things you can hear.
- Name 4 things you can feel.
- Name 3 things you can see
- Name 2 things you can see.
- Name 1 thing you can see.
Describe what you are experiencing:
When have you felt this way before?
- What situation were you in the last time you felt this way?
In what ways are this current situation and your past situation similar?
- For example, is the setting, time of year, sights, sounds, sensations in any way similar to the past situation where you felt this way?
If another person is involved, is it because they are similar to a person from the past who provoked similar feelings?
How is your current situation different from the situation in which you felt similar feelings in the past?
What is different about you, your sensory experience, your current life circumstances, and personal resources now?
What is different about this current setting?
- If another person(s)are involved, what is different about them compared to the person(s) in the past situation?
What action, if any, do you want to take now to feel better in the present?
- For example, a flashback may indicate that a person is once again in a situation that is in some way unsafe.
If this is the case, self-protective actions should be taken to alter the current situation.
- “Here and Now” (Today) “There and Then” (The past)
This intervention uses your already highly charged hyperviligence, which will help you to relax and become centred in your present environment.
How do I prevent flashbacks?
You may be able to take steps to prevent future flashbacks by identifying warning signs and triggers:
- Be aware of the warning signs.
Flashbacks sometimes feel as though they come out of nowhere, but there are often early physical or emotional warning signs. These signs could include a change in mood, feeling pressure in your chest, or suddenly sweating. Becoming aware of the early signs of flashbacks may help you manage or prevent them.
- Identify what experiences trigger your flashbacks.
Flashbacks can be triggered by a sensory feeling, an emotional memory, a reminder of the event, or even an unrelated stressful experience. Identify the experiences that trigger your flashbacks. If possible, make a plan on how to avoid these triggers or how to cope if you encounter the trigger.
To speak with someone who is trained to help, call the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 800.656.HOPE(4673) or chat online at online.rainn.org.
Coping with Memories:
Of our memories this is your own body’s way of coping. But in adult life these memories can return to us just as strong and as real as the day the event first took place.
They can be overwhelming and triggering and take you right back to that place you were at when the event first took place, sometimes you can still strongly smell and imagine everything as it was etc…
So that re-surfacing memories don’t take over the whole of your present life you need to learn to control them and cope with them.
This might not be easy but it is possible, you could try imagining a little box with a lid and placing your memory into the box and closing the lid, so when you want to visit the memory you can take it out of the box and face it when you are ready to do so and then after place it back into the little box. This isn’t easy but will prevent the memory from taking over you.
Also you when you have a memory come up you can imagine its taking place on a TV screen, you are in control and if you want to you can also change the ending to how you want it to end etc… It’s your memory (your TV programme) if you don’t like it re visit it and you have the power now as an adult to change it in your mind.
Try and tell yourself that as nasty as they might be they are in fact only memories and they can’t hurt you anymore. You are safe now.
Other suggestions:
- Keep a diary of your mood and meds
- Have a bath at candle light and just lay there, chill, and clear your mind
- Call someone whether this is a friend or a crisis line and offload to them, they maybe able to help.
- Don’t like to chill? Then keep busy, this can give you less time to think.
- Go out with friends, have a laugh see what life really has to offer. Maybe stay with one of them or family at particularly hard times.
- Speak with your Mental Health Teams and make them understand.
- Play a game or something to cheer yourself up (look at the fun pages)
- Treat yourself to something and make yourself feel special as you are!
(Source: miseriathome)
demons-demigods-benders-bucky:
did anyone else do that thing when they were in elementary where you write T H I S on your knuckles and a stick figure on one palm and a scribble on the other and you go “this is bob bob says hi this is bob when the car comes by” thing. that was messed up.
What?
In my school, we would draw a scribble on the palm of our other hand and it was “this is Bob, Bob says hi, bob does a flip (turn your wrist), hooray for Bob! (clap hands) Oops, Bob died. (show scribble)”
(via snurkypappy)
remember when we waiting for sherlock air we all watched antiques roadshow together good times
(via yah-boi-sarah)
my-psychological-tower said: One time I was involved in a crew that had to move a piano across the school. We wound up deciding to see how fast we could go. A teacher told us that was the most dangerous thing he’s seen in six years.
*flashbacks to the time I took a ride with Adam*
This same kid. Holy shit. His driving is terrifying. After a show, the whole cast and such went out to eat at a restaurant across town, so Adam gave a bunch of us in the pit a ride… It was pretty late at night, so there weren’t many cars on the highway, so HE SOMEHOW DECIDED “OH, I KNOW, LET’S SEE HOW FAST I CAN GO.” WE WENT OVER 100 MPH. I WAS FUCKING TERRIFIED. But it was also hella fun.
(Source: miseriathome)
(Source: miseriathome)
Sometimes I wonder if only PoC understand the struggle. So here’s a picture of a PoC making a burrito, aka appreciating another culture without dehumanizing its people.
It was a really good burrito. By the way, I will NOT be your wife and make you food.
That was a pretty fun day, though, not gonna lie.
This was the day of the wake.
