the new york times has such a great series of elevated butter noodles, if you ever want a super fast easy dinner that still feels grown up and you can emulsify pasta water + butter together basically the sky is your limit
ya got
chili crisp fettuccine alfredo
any one of these + a bag of salad or whatever vegetable side you find easiest/cheapest, and you've got yourself a full meal that tastes far above the effort you put in.
Because someone *cough* @whiskeyterrafoxtrot *cough* decided to brag about my baking skills here y'all go. Apparently... the recipe is too long for texts or to send as a single message here on Tumblr, so here's a post instead.
This is NOT a beginner baker friendly recipe, but I have genuinely not found a recipe that compares to this.
If you want pillowy soft dough surrounding cinnamon gooey goodness this has you covered.
ULTIMATE CINNAMON ROLLS
BAKE: 350°f for 20-25min
YIELD: 12
TIME: 3hr 15m
--------------INGREDIENTS---------------
TANGZHONG FLOUR PASTE:
71g water
71g whole milk
28g flour
DOUGH:
all of the tangzhong (above)
85g unsalted butter, melted
170g whole milk, room temp
2 large eggs, room temp
496g flour (All Purpose or Bread flour)
21g powdered milk
9g instant yeast**
50g granulated sugar
1 3/4 tsp fine salt
FILLING:
1C unsalted butter, very soft/spreadable
1 3/4C light brown sugar, packed
14g cornstarch
13g ground cinnamon
1/2 tsp fine salt
FROSTING:
1 stick unsalted butter, room temp
1 8oz block cream cheese, room temp
114g powdered sugar
1 TBLS milk
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
Pinch of salt
1 tsp fresh lemon juice, optional
----------INSTRUCTIONS-----------
----TANGZHONG FLOUR PASTE:----
1) Combine the tangzhong ingredients; the water, milk & flour in a medium saucepan, whisk together until no lumps remain.
2) Place the saucepan over medium heat, cook, whisking constantly, until the mixture thickens to a smooth, pudding-like consistency; 2 to 3 minutes. Remove saucepan from heat.
----DOUGH:----
1) To the saucepan with the tangzhong, whisk in the melted butter & milk until very smooth. Add in the eggs & whisk until fully incorporated. The liquid ingredients will cool off the hot tangzhong & the mixture should now feel lukewarm.
2) In a large bowl whisk together the flour, powdered milk, & yeast to combine**. Pour in the flour paste/milk mixture.
3) Mixer using the dough hook, mix on low speed until all the flour is moistened & a shaggy dough comes together; 1 to 2 minutes. Let the dough rest, covered, for 20 minutes; this will give the flour a chance to absorb the liquid, making it easier to knead.
4) After 20 minutes, add the sugar & salt, mix on medium-low speed until a smooth, elastic & slightly sticky dough forms; about 10 minutes. The dough will be very sticky when mixing begins, but resist the urge to add more flour*; the dough will absorb the excess moisture & come together nicely as the mixing progresses. After the 10 minutes of kneading, the dough should feel slightly sticky but not messy & should easily come together in a taut ball when handled with lightly oiled hands.
5) Using lightly oiled hands, shape the dough into a ball, & transfer to a lightly greased large bowl. Cover tightly with plastic wrap & allow to rise in a warm place, until almost doubled in volume, about 1 hour.
----FILLING:----
1) In a medium bowl, whisk together the brown sugar, cornstarch, cinnamon, & salt until well combined.
2) Make sure butter is at room temp before creaming it with the cinnamon sugar filling. Cover with plastic wrap & set aside until ready to use.
----ROLLS:----
1) Gently deflate the risen dough, then turn out onto a pastry mat or very lightly floured counter. Pat, stretch, & roll out the dough to form 16X18-inch rectangle with long edge nearest you.
2) Evenly spread the filling all over the surface of the dough, leaving 1-inch border along the top edge.
3) Starting with long edge nearest you, roll the dough into a cylinder. Pinch the seam to seal the dough shut & roll cylinder seam side down. Decide how thick you want them to be, 2" seems to work perfectly for a 9"x13".
4) For the cleanest cut, slice by holding a strand of dental floss underneath the cylinder, & cross ends of the floss over each other & pull. Slice cylinder into 12 portions & transfer to a 13X9-inch baking pan, that's been greased with butter or cooking spray.
5) Cover the pan loosely with plastic wrap & allow the rolls to rise until puffy and are touching one another; 40 to 50 minutes . In the last 15 minutes of rising, adjust oven rack to medium position & preheat the oven to 350°F/180°C. Meanwhile, prepare the frosting.
----FROSTING:----
1) In a medium bowl using an electric mixer, cream together the butter & cream cheese until very smooth; about 2 minutes.
2) With the mixer running, gradually add in the powdered sugar. Continue beating, until the sugar is fully incorporated & the mixture is light & fluffy; about 2 more minutes.
3) Add in the milk, vanilla, salt, and beat until well combined; if cream cheese doesn't provide enough "tang" then add lemon juice to taste. Cover until needed.
----BAKE ROLLS:----
1) Remove the plastic wrap from over the risen rolls & bake in the preheated oven for 20 to 25 minutes, tenting with aluminum foil halfway through baking to avoid over browning. The rolls are done when the center of the dough registers around 190F on an instant read thermometer, or when a toothpick inserted in the center of the dough, should go in & out smoothly, meet no resistance & come out clean.
2) Remove the rolls from the oven, & immediately spread the tops with the frosting; it'll partially melt into the rolls. Serve warm. Store completely cooled rolls in an airtight container for a couple of days at room temperature and up to 7 days in the fridge (if they last that long).
----------TIPS*/NOTES•---------
• Weigh your ingredients! Using a kitchen scale for baking in general is highly recommended over measuring by cups. IT IS PERFECT EVERY TIME you use grams/weight.
** Instant yeast can be used interchangeably with active dry yeast but you’ll need to proof it first. Stir 9g of active dry yeast with the 170g of milk from the recipe (warm it up though 105-110°f) and 1 teaspoon from the sugar amount. Let rest until it foams up, about 10 minutes, then proceed with the recipe by adding it to the DRY ingredients along w/ the flour paste. **
* Don’t be tempted to add more flour. This dough is much softer than most bread/roll doughs. It starts out extremely sticky but will come together as mixing progresses. If you’ve weighed your ingredients, you’ll likely not need to add extra flour. Note that adding extra flour than what is called for in the recipe, may cause the dough to bake into drier, denser cinnamon rolls.*
• Work with a cold dough. This is completely optional, but helpful. Making the dough a day in advance and letting it rise slowly (aka cold rise) in the fridge, makes the dough infinitely easier to roll into a neat rectangle to spread the filling on + rolling it into a cylinder to slice.
• Easiest and least messy way of slicing them into rounds is with non-flavored dental floss/threader floss (used for cleaning between braces) or fishing line.
*Creating a warm environment for the rolls to rise*
Adjust oven rack to middle position and place a loaf or cake pan in the bottom of the (turned off) oven. Place the bowl of dough on the middle rack and pour boiling water into the bottom pan. Close the oven door and allow the warm steam to help rise the dough, turning on the oven light will help this too.
• Optional Flavor Combination:
Mexican Hot Cocoa filling:
Easiest= Cayenne powder (1/4tsp) + cocoa powder (1/4C) mixed into the filling
The E-X-T-R-A (really so much better) way=
1) Gently heat the butter in a pot and "simmer" (not actually bringing to a simmer just low slow heat for 10+ minutes to infuse the flavors into the butter) with chili flakes and some broken cinnamon stick.
2) Strain and add cocoa powder to the still warm butter to bloom it before letting butter come completely to room temp.
3) Once butter has returned to a semi-solid state, cream it with the filling mix. Store on countertop overnight
THANK YOU. I will hand this recipe to the Madwoman in the Attic, and she will do her magic, including figuring out substitutions for the powdered sugar. (It contains corn starch, whee migraine triggers.)
This recipe sounds SO DELICIOUS!!!
"We've gone too far."
I'll bet the lemon stealing whore created this recipe
"Heavy on the citrus."
Yeah, I'll bet, bud.
kedgeree 🧡
wait I changed my mind look at my ugly delicious kedgeree
ALT
ALTkedgeree unfortunately one of those foods that looks really bad a lot of the time up until you taste it
UKL’s recipe for what seems to be a kedgeree by another name, written down when she was living in the UK
hey, don’t cry. one half flour one half yogurt knead into dough and fry for easy flatbread and dip in balsamic vinegar, okay?
After three batches, my findings so far:
I’m gonna be eating these for a month
This actually works?? Two-ingredient bread??
I gotta try it.
That's...naan.
That's naan?
*runs to Google*
this is one of those rare easy bread recipes that also works with gluten free flour! the yoghurt helps with structural integrity. you may want a pinch of xanthan gum if your flour doesn't come with it mixed in. i like to mix some rosemary into the flour to have a herby naan, since i can't have garlic.
ADD CUMIN. Holy shit. Add cumin to the flour its so good!
The rosemary one is also fab
I need to reblog this because Max Miller/Tasting History is so wonderful. The guy is charming and passionate and loves history and food so much it's infectious.
Hi Bitches! I have a fun food story I think you'll like.
So I recently discovered there's a produce rescue in my state that purchases unsold wholesale produce at the border to prevent it from being tossed in the landfill. They then sell it off at hella cheap prices. You don't get to pick what's in your box, but, uh. It's 70 pounds of produce for $15, you get what you get and if you're like me you will figure out what to do with it rather than let it go to waste.
Anyway, my last box included an absolutely insane number of Persian cucumbers. So I decided I'd try something I've wanted to try for years, because if I wrecked one or two in the process it wasn't as big a disaster as if I'd tried it with expensive store bought ones, and...
I can make my own glatt kosher dill pickles now, and holy crap, Vlasic can eat its heart out. Mine are crunchier, more flavorful, better-cut and kept perfectly good food from being thrown away, doing them with my produce box meant they were about 1/8 the price, and also pickling is very easy but people think you're amazing and fancy if you pickle your own stuff.
Also if anyone is in Arizona and wants in on this action, it's called Borderlands P.O.W.W.O.W. (Produce On Wheels WithOut Waste) and you can find them here. Here's what my last box looked like:
I should note that's what's left after I split the box half and half with a friend.
HOLY MOTHERFUCKING SHITBALLS THIS IS AMAZING!!! Thank you so much for sharing this extremely frugal win AND telling the rest of us how to get in on it. With grocery prices the way they are, this is sure to keep a lot of people from going hungry or missing out on necessary nutrition. I encourage everyone outside of Arizona to look for similar programs in your state! (Though I suspect it’s mostly only applicable to border states.)
Also, drop that super crunchy pickle recipe, baby.
Here’s more advice:
How to Shop for Groceries like a Boss
You Should Learn To Cook. Here’s Why.
Did we just help you out? Say thanks by joining our Patreon!
YOU HAVE ASKED FOR PICKLES AND YOU SHALL RECEIVE
You will need a 32-oz GLASS jar with a screw-on lid. Please note the glass part is really fucking important. We're about to be pouring hot liquids and also pickle brine by its nature will leach crap out of plastics. I reuse storebought sauerkraut jars because I know they're good for holding pickled foods, but mason jars were also literally designed for this. Also please note that if you do this and then put the lid on and put it in the fridge right away, it'll vacuum-seal itself. Which isn't the least bit necessary, but is extremely cool and makes me feel like a boss, 10/10 recommend.
INGREDIENTS:
--1/2 cup white vinegar
--1tbsp white sugar
--1 1/2 tsp kosher salt
--grab a bottle of dried dill and just kinda hang onto that
--4-6 ice cubes, or you can use 1/2 cup of cold water if you're afraid of eyeballing cooldown times (I recommend the ice tho)
--cucumbers
1) slice your cucumbers into coins. I used just under three Persian cucumbers and repeated the experiment later with about 2/3 of one of those giant-ass English cucumbers that's as long as your arm. You will almost definitely have to eat a little bit of unpickled cucumber. Or put it on your eyes and pretend you're at the spa with Oscar Isaac handing you a fruity drink with an umbrella, I'm not the boss of you.
2) layer the coins into your glass jar, with a pinch of dill between each layer. Your layers will probably be flat-ish, not actually flat. This is okay and normal.
2a) (some people will say to just dump a teaspoon of dill in there and call it a day. You can do that. I think layering it helps to provide stronger pickles, but it's your kitchen and your pickles, you get to call this shot.)
3) heat your vinegar, sugar, and salt, stirring gently until everything is dissolved. I've never had mine go as far as boiling, but it does get pretty hot, so watch your hands. Congratulations! You've made brine. (Yes, it's really that simple.)
4) put your jar on top of a potholder, paper towel, or trivet--basically you just want a layer of neutral between your about-to-be-hot jar and your cold counter. Pour the brine slowly into the jar. "Slowly" here just means "in a steady stream you can control without dribbling all over the place."
5) put in your ice cubes ONE!!! AT!!!! A!!!! TIME!!!! I cannot emphasize this strongly enough! This isn't one of those "and if you don't remove the souffle at exactly 37.542 seconds at precisely the speed of 1/28th miles per hour then it will collapse" things, but it is an "if you let the brine cool too quickly you will crack or even shatter your jar" thing. You don't have to move like a snail, but please. One at a time. A second or two is all it needs before the next one goes in, but it does need that second or two.
6) put on the lid and stick it in the fridge.
7) shake it once a day. There is no precise timing on this. It just makes sure any cucumbers that've gotten too cozy-cozy with each other get fully dilled and brined.
8) after three days, you have some damn fine pickles.
Also if you want some of the most sinful veggie topping ever for grilled chicken breasts, do this with sliced red onion and carrots, and just swap white vinegar for rice vinegar and dill for about one inch of grated ginger. I refuse to take responsibility for any noises you may make in front of your in-laws and regret as a result, but they'll probably understand anyway once they also taste the onions.
Now do watermelons.
No seriously, watermelons are related to cucumbers— not closely enough to cross-pollinate, but close enough that the white part of watermelon rind tastes like cucumbers and it! Can! Be! Food!
I still have three different forms of watermelon rind squirreled away from last summer: sweet pickles (Alton Brown’s recipe), candied in syrup (from a recipe for Greek “spoon sweets” I found online somewhere), and just plain frozen (sliced into green-bean-sized matchsticks first.
They are tougher than your average cucumber and need some cooking to tenderize. But that also means if otherwise unprocessed, the rind can still be crunchy even after being frozen and (briefly) cooked. I mix a handful in with sliced meat to marinate for stir-fry and the rind absorbs the flavors like mad.
If you cook them longer (like soup), the frozen rind does soften but holds its shape and doesn’t fall apart. If you put a *lot* of the rind into an otherwise mild soup, it’ll taste a lot like Chinese wintermelon soup which makes me nostalgic bc my parents used to grow wintermelons in the back yard. I also dice the pickles to mix with ground meat for empanada filling.
In theory it might be possible to shred them fresh into salad/slaw, but I always cook mine before eating bc they’ve already had the melon part eaten out of them first. The green outer skin is very tough so I usually peel that off, unless I want the pickles to be extra-crunchy.
Behold: candied w some pomegranate syrup for extra flavor/color, sweet pickle chunks, and frozen matchsticks.
👀👀👀👀👀👀👀
Another option is Jam.
Jam is fucking expensive, and yours will taste better. This recipe makes bespoke sets of jam
what you want is
4 parts fruit (stone, berry, pear, apple(not mango))
2 parts sugar
1-2 tablespoons lemon juice.
Stove and Thermomix versions
I love how this has turned into a home-preserving thread.
With that said, I invite you all to join me in what I'm starting this year: a LIBERTY GARDEN. As food prices go up, growing your own will become cheaper than the alternative.
The Liberty Garden takes its name from the Victory Garden of the 1940s. Americans at the time were asked to grow gardens for home use so as much fresh produce as possible could be used to feed the troops. This time WE are the troops, and an army travels on its stomach. Grow to fight for liberty!
Good, nutrient-dense options that store well are onions, garlic, potatoes, sweet potatoes, and yams. Growing your own herbs is easy and will save a ton on seasoning. (You can also grow your own ginger!) With appropriate preservation you can also plant basically anything else you like--I'm going for corn, carrots, peas, tomatoes, cucumbers, pumpkins, bell peppers, habaneros, and possibly some other stuff.
Two years ago I got about three dozen Roma tomatoes off a single plant. It was the only plant I got that year--I made many planting mistakes. My Fry's app tells me Roma tomatoes are currently going for about 30¢ each. That means once you take out the cost of a seed packet, I saved $8.
Now multiply that by many plants. Grow your own.
...thank you for reminding my ADHD brain to look up local crop/farm shares, since I live in a co-op building and have no space to plant things (not even a balcony, since my unit is a semi-basement). May be another option for some people - certainly it will help to keep the money I spend on food in the local economy, rather than lining some corporation's shareholder's pockets.
... please don't use random, untested recipes for making and canning jam. The recipe above talks about the lemon juice helping the pectin set, but its primary purpose is PROPER ACIDITY. It's also essential that this is not fresh lemon juice but BOTTLED lemon juice, bc bottled lemon juice is consistently acidic, whereas fresh lemon juice is variable in its acidity and tends to be slightly less acidic.
Without your jam or jelly being at a ph of 4.5 or lower, you can end up with botulism, which can fucking kill you.
(Miss me with "I've done it this way and been fine." To borrow from Tony Stark bc I just rewatched Endgame, "No, you accidentally survived. Totally different thing.")
I would really prefer that you not die.
(Downloadable PDF of the USDA Complete Guide To Home Canning)
https://www.nifa.usda.gov/sites/default/files/resource/Canning%20Meat%20Poultry%20and%20Game.pdf
I have guides and videos under my "my peasant roots let me show you them" tag, but please, please, please, DO NOT use any unverified recipes to can foods for shelf-stable storage. Y'all are gonna give me a goddamned heart attack.
People with low spoons, someone just recommended this cookbook to me, so I thought I’d pass it on.
I always look at cookbooks for people who have no energy/time to do elaborate meal preparations, and roll my eyes. Like, you want me to stay on my feet for long enough to prepare 15 different ingredients from scratch, and use 5 different pots and pans, when I have chronic fatigue and no dishwasher?
These people seem to get it, though. It’s very simple in places. It’s basically the cookbook for people who think, ‘I’m really bored of those same five low-spoons meals I eat, but I can’t think of anything else to cook that won’t exhaust me’. And it’s free!
SPREAD THE WORD THIS IS FUCKING GOD TIER OH MY GOD, SOMETIMES I HAVE SPOONS SOMETIMES I DON’T BUT NO COOKBOOK OFFERS LEVELS IN THEIR RECIPES THIS ONE DOES!
what do you guys do with sweet potatoes. i don't really care about them one way or another but my beautiful wife loves them so here we are. generally i just roast em in chunks (with or without cumin, garlic, etc) and put them in a bowl with ??? rice?? black beans??? i would like to do something different but still depression-friendly e.g. not too many steps or things to wash. is this something you do? could you be my sweet potato savior?
wowww so many sexy suggestions in the comments. discerning palates to go with the huge hearts and brains on the people who read this blog as always. see u on the other side of whichever sweet potato thing we eat today
Scrolled down the MF DOOM tag trying to find the mac and cheese image and I couldn't so anyway here it is literally one of my favourite images of all time
very important that you include MF DOOM's Villainous Mac and Cheeze Recipe alongside this image
if you’re craving chocolate muffins after the olympic muffin man videos, jordan the stallion on tiktok has the recipe for you
For those who would rather have it written out:
In a saucepan over low/medium-low heat:
3/4 cup milk
1/4 cup water
2 tsp instant coffee
Bring to a simmer
Add
1/2 cup cocoa powder
and mix together
Add
1/2 cup chocolate chunks
1 stick butter
and stir together until smooth. Move to a large bowl.
separately mix together dry:
2 cups flour
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt
to chocolate mix, add:
1/2 cup packed dark brown sugar
1/2 cup white sugar
1/4 vegetable oil
2 eggs room temp
1 tsp vanilla extract
Add dry ingredients to wet in stages and fold together without overmixing.
Add 1/3 cup chocolate chunks and fold in.
Put in greased muffin tin and sprinkle some more chunks on there.
Bake at 375 for 24 minutes
Omg there's a FILLING jesus take the wheel
In a saucepan on low heat stir together:
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup chocolate chunks
pinch of salt
Once they're cooled, fill those bitches and eat. Throw glasses in apparent joy.
Great video but I hate the way he cracks the eggs.
Love the way this guy says "a fourth" instead of "a quarter". I assume it's regional but I've never heard it before.
I didn't think there was a wrong way to crack eggs but apparently there is (but great video indeed)
There’s a total of like 6 steps to stir fry and I just found like 8 ways I’ve been doing it less than ideally. Thank you for this! I’m definitely making stir fry this week and I’ll be using this to guide me.
Baked beans are an American dish adapted from a similar dish first made by native Americans and baked beans were first canned in the US and then brought to Britain where the British decided to start putting them on toast and calling them a British food. And I’ve started to realize that some British people think that we think beans on toast is strange because we don’t have baked beans. When in fact we’ve had baked beans this whole time. We brought the baked beans over there. We just think it’s mildly confusing that Brits put them on toast.
I think it’s fine that British people are putting them on toast. The phrase beans on toast is still funny to me however. It’s fun to say out loud. Beans on toast.
Anyway here’s a video from the Indigenous Food Lab on how to make baked beans with indigenous North American ingredients:
Neat!
