The fact that Trump is listening to SCOTUS telling him to remove the National Guard means a lot of shit could be avoided here if John Roberts wasn't made of 100% bitch.

On my first day in Germany I got to my hotel and I couldn't get the lights to turn on. And I was like "Eh, fuck it, I'll just take a shower in the dark." And then the shower wouldn't get hot. I waited and waited and it stayed ice cold.

So I go down to the front desk and I'm like "My lights won't turn on and my shower won't get hot" so they send this guy up with me. We get into the room and I flick the switch and nothing happens so I'm like "See?"

And he goes "You must put your card in the slot."

"I... what? I have to put my room card in the light switch?"

"Of course!"

Now I have been in many hotels in the US and never encountered this concept, but apparently it was something most of their guests already knew. So I'm looking like a fool at this point. I feel like an idiot. The dude is fully grinning at me. I put the card in the slot and voila, the light turns on.

Then he's like "Ok, let's see if the shower works. You know you must wait for the hot water?" and I just know he's thinking I'm an idiot who also can't use a shower. This stupid American can't wait for the hot water! She can't even use a light switch or a shower!

And I guess he was distracted by these thoughts of my stupidity, because this dude fully stepped into the shower. In his nice dress shirt and slacks. He just. Gets into the shower.

And turns it on.

Have you ever seen a playing field get leveled instantaneously

I think about this every year but this trend of American Christmas movies where characters act like Christmas is being forgotten/no one cares about it anymore/it's dying and needs to be saved/etc while the whole country has been flooded with Christmas since Halloween really is a perfect example of how (mainly white) American Christians always see themselves as the victims and persecuted minorities no matter what.

"Nobody believes in Christmas anymore! We need to save it!" Okay well I've been hearing songs about Jesus in grocery stores since November 1st so forgive me for my doubt.

new yorkers subjecting the rest of the country to their local politics is an act of violence but sadly predictable given the self-centered and narcissistic nature of a scarily high percentage of new yorkers

this isn’t pro or anti mamdani btw. this is just anti-new yorker in general, regardless of political beliefs. new yorkers have brainwashed a large chunk of young people into thinking nyc is the center of the universe, to the point that most people my age i know (as a west coaster) were posting about a mayoral race thousands of miles away rather than their own mayoral elections (seattle has a similar race to the nyc one, but the race is tied, possibly because people who would support the progressive were too busy mamdaniposting) or ballot initiatives. so friendly reminder that it is your god given right not to care about new york city. yankees suck go red sox.

Wait, so Spanberger and Sherrill were able to get the majority of the young male vote without a Totenkopf tattoo?

On the day of Dick Cheney’s death, I’m thinking about a lot of horrible consequences of his actions, but I’m also thinking about Lauren Hough telling Dick Cheney to waterboard her “if it makes him feel better” when she repaired his cable.

“when i said i don’t believe in marriage, that was a lie” lavender haze police found dead!

Love and Knishes (1956) by Sara Kasdan

"what if you regret it" what if I don't?

I understand your point, however this maybe wasn't the best post to cross my dash while I'm fighting the temptation to text my ex.

this is about transitioning DO NOT TEXT YOUR EX ITS NOT WORTH IT DONT DO IT

recently came across some plates and bowls that would be perfect for a children's hospital

this is, as the kids say, frying me (a glasses wearer)

I can't believe liberals went to protests with cringe signs, they should have followed the examples of our leftist betters and stayed at home and made posts.

Ironically, yeah. You would be better off staying home and reading theory. For your particular issue I would recommend Che Guevara, and don't skimp and read the A.I. highlights. Actually get in there and learn he'd never have gone to the shit cringe lib protests too. No kings? Then you change the name immediately when the British get offended? You're all the same neoliberal Imperialist capitalists we hate.

You need to learn about mutual aid and material support, read a fucking book. Then maybe your little sign-offs will turn into revolutionary change instead of performative drama. Because while you stood with a sign i was expanding my garden to help provide a larger percentage of fresh vegetables for my neighbor who can't work anymore.

Your performative dancing in streets with signs has a place for sure, but you are insane to think it will bring about change at this stage.

Im a trans woman with a doctorate degree and I have spoken.

I want you to know that I do dramatic readings of this to myself sometimes and it never fails to improve my moods so thank you.

everyone talks about the folgers coffee incest commercial but remember the quizno’s commercial where the guy was fucking the toaster oven?

what the fuck

what the fuck

a MALE toaster oven

I support their forbidden gay love

“Not doin that again that burned”

“We both enjoyed that.”

I’m dying how did this get produced

He also looks down at his dick when he said it burned

Quiznos commercials are just like that

Listening to a podcast

"Let's take a word from our sponsor."

*Skip ahead a minute* "You can-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Use code-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "300,000-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "T-shirts-"

*Skip ahead a minute* "Motherfuck-"

*Go back 15 seconds*

Oh we're all feeling this one aren't we?

no no, I know what you're thinking but it's actually amazingly great, keep watching.

Oh wow did not see that coming

The kind of public service announcements humans SHOULD be watching.

Happy disability pride month

I beg @dropoutdottv to release a whole ass episode of this. I BEG YOU.