the more you listen to it, the funnier it gets

Audio: dramatic piano. The husky screams along, vaguely keeping the rhythm but not the tune

That last ROO always gets me

obsessed with that old site dedicated to hating sheridan bc it looks like it was made by lennier on a windows 98

this is what they found in lennier’s diary

There's a scene in very early 60's Doctor Who where a character falls into a swamp, I think, and they throw not a rag doll, but a card board cut out of the actor. 10/10 they don't make 'em like this no more

Classical architecture

the resemblance to vines growing over abandoned buildings is doing something to me. are WE the force of nature reclaiming the remains of a past civilisation

I think the funniest thing in Trek (okay ignore that I say this on multiple posts I know) is the fact that like every other episode is "amazing this planet is exactly like Earth, what are the odds" "astronomical" couple episodes later you get "amazing the cultural development on this planet is just like Earth, what are the odds" "statistically speaking it shouldn't be happening"

So many things would be better if doctors could just say “yeah that is a real problem but there isn’t much we can do to treat it so our only real recommendations are other things that raise your general health level to compensate”

instead they just say “thats normal” or “oh theres nothing wrong with you”. Because in their mind “it wont kill you and i cant fix it” means its not with mentioning.

Affirm the problem doc, it wont kill you. Knowing that something just isnt the kind of thing doctors treat will save your patients so much time, money, and stress, all of which will improve their health.

girl are you a psychology study because you're one of a kind and i don't think anybody could replicate you

The Silmarillion fandom is genuinely insane. Like, you hang out on tumblr, read fic on AO3 and you think, yeah. Lots of people have read the Silmarillion. It’s Tolkien. Everyone’s read Tolkien. Barnes and Noble has a whole bunch of the HoME and also a bunch of books by people writing about the legendarium. This is mainstream, surely.

But then you actually touch grass and talk to normal people. Not even that, you talk to people who self diagnose as hard core Tolkien fans. And. None of them have read the Silmarillion. The Silmarillion is famously a book that nobody reads.

And yet. On AO3 The Silmarillion and Other Histories of Middle Earth has more works than The Lord of the Rings. Think about that. That’s baffling. It’s ridiculous. Like I realize that LotR fandom is split a bit by the movie, but still. The Silmarillion has almost four times as many fics as the LotR movies. Everybody has watched the movies!

I need to know what percentage of people who actually read the Silmarillion went on to write fic or draw fanart about it. Because it must be insane, surely. Like, I’m pretty sure the Silmarillion wins some kind of record in this department.

Thinking about the fanfic bell curve where on one end you have “Perfect, needs no improvement or elaboration” (LotR sits here) and on the other you have “So bad it’s no fun to even think about” with the middle being the fanfic zone. But I think there may be a secret fourth Silmarillion option. Which is a book that is perfect* but simultaneously non existent. It’s not even a real story! The language is super pretty and deeply incomprehensible (especially to people who, unlike me, were not raised from early childhood on both the Bible and classic literature). And it’s more of an outline and an abstract painting of cultural and world building vibes (not cultural and world building facts and information) than an actual narrative. There are story hooks galore. There are vivid and fascinating characters, but their lives are glossed over and you only get one or two paragraphs of prose that will reorder your brain chemistry and haunt you forever. There are countless more characters who only exist as names, the implication of whose existence is fascinating. All of this is deeply frustrating, both to casual readers who just want a Normal Enjoyable Book, and super fans who want All the Lore. But it is catnip to anyone who engages in transformative work.

*I am aware that not anyone who is a fan of the silm thinks it’s perfect

I bet I know what scene it was, and I get emotional just thinking about it.

I think you’re right about this being the scene.

It’s really interesting to me; he’s surrounded by actors with exceptionally strong acting pedigrees: half the cast got their MFAs at Yale, Rickman went to the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts, even Sam Rockwell went to a top flight acting school.

The scene is also shot with multiple cameras for coverage so everyone is doing this in one big take. When you think about all the scene entails of Allen—being physically manhandled and ridiculed by Sarris, having to watch the other actor he’s working closely with in the scene feel betrayed as he explains the nature of acting to him—it’s an intense scene and it would be easy to get lost in it, to lose your sense of self a bit and start to feel like it’s a little too real.

Here’s this standup comedian with a degree in radio disc jockeying from a state school, surrounded by Real Actors, having to Actually Fucking Act for the first time in his career, and he kinda pulls it off! I think that reaction shot of Sigourney Weaver is 100% genuine and hers.

Alan Rickman is definitely taking the piss and I have no doubt he probably didn’t like Tim Allen in general, but I can’t help but think he was simply stating a fact. Tim Allen experienced acting, probably for the first time. Because that guy hadn’t had to Actually Fucking Act before.

By all accounts Tim Allen is a jerk, so I’m definitely laughing with Alan Rickman here, but I can imagine that scene would be overwhelming if you don’t have the training to prepare for it.

[ ID: image of Tim Allen and Alan Rickman in Galaxy Quest, with text: director Dean Parisot recalled how Tim Allen was unsettled after a particularly dramatic scene:

I turned back, and Tim is just completely emotional; heart-wrenching, actually. He says, "Yeah, I don’t like these feelings I'm having, I'd like to go back to the trailer." And Alan Rickman said, "Oh my God, I think he just experienced acting." /ID ]

Even if Alan Rickman disliked Tim Allen at first, they soon became friends. Five days after Rickman died, Allen wrote an article for The Hollywood Reporter about the friendship they built:

"I don’t think he liked me all that much when we first started shooting Galaxy Quest. I was a stage performer, a concert comic, and I was coming into this group of very polished thespians - Sigourney Weaver and Sam Rockwell and Tony Shalhoub and then Alan adding his English roots.

"All of them had this process and method - voice stretching and all that kind of prep - and it was so different from mine. I was doing penis jokes right up to action.

"I went to a very different school, shitty clubs and basements and big arenas. But then, one day on the set, Alan came to me and apologized. He said he mistook my behavior for lack of commitment. And we became very fast friends.

"Alan was just an amazing person and an amazing actor. We had these dinner parties during production, and Alan always brought gifts whenever he came to the house. He was that kind of guy - he had class and style and manners. But he was also gentle and funny and wonderful."

Sometimes you do have to admit that while the "lower classes" aren't the upper ones, they do have their own culture and mannerisms, and an "upper class" person will step their foot in it because they don't know the proper manners and etiquette for that social circle.

Highbrow Acting versus Comedy is very much like that. It may not look like there's etiquette in stage comedy...but there actually is, and a lot of effort that goes into making it look flawless. Comedic timing is harder to learn than physical stage blocking and delivering your lines because there isn't as much stage blocking. It's all based on what the audience is reacting to, and yes, you do have to change your performance based on their reaction. (This is why improv actors make good comedians and vice versa.) In a movie, show, or most stage productions, you don't do that.

Yes, Tim finally had an Actually Acting Moment. Good for him. And then Alan realized the dick jokes were Tim's vocal stretches, and realized yes, he does take this all seriously. it's just a completely different display of committment. A different method, literally, of acting.

I'm glad they both came to a better understanding!

Pirate jokes

that thing about how removing the middle 2 panels of a cad comic makes it funnier is true 

holy shit

I can’t even imagine what meaningless filler went into panels 2-3.

oh my god these are actually funny

this is 100% true and once you remove the horrible filler bullshit its comedy gold

SHOW LOSS YOU COWARDS

NEW ~ Choose Your Weapon V

I know a certain someone who would die so hard to the second sword

after the twelfth or so richard siken twitter clapback reposted to tumblr it becomes clear that, while richard siken’s fans may be annoying, they are not the ones searching their name on twitter and arguing with random teenagers who never even argue back

the sunk cost fallacy has been my favorite fallacy for as long as I can remember. so at this point it's probably too late to pick a different one

so soothing. cancel my appts. gonna be watching a bubble freeze in real time for the foreseeable

that is insanely cool and also how I mentally picture setting wards

that theory that the Arkenstone is a Silmaril…it’s doubly implausible, but imagine if nobody knew. If the dwarves were guarded enough of their greatest treasure that…you wouldn’t even need to hide it from that many people, honestly. Mostly a few elves, and all wizards.

and then Bilbo sidles up to Gandalf like, “Thorin and all are holed up in the Mountain, but I think they’re being nuts, so I…kind of stole the Arkenstone, I think.” And (it’s been thousands of years since the light of the trees was doused save for the precious brilliance locked away in Feanor’s gems, since oaths and blood and war that raged until the skies cracked and the earth shattered, and the little people of the Shire have no memory of it at all) he pulls out a fucking Silmaril.

Gandalf: *spittake*

Gandalf: *hurriedly glances at Thranduil. the king of Mirkwood’s eyes shine with curiosity and greed, but not recognition, nor the terrible lust that overtook Feanor and his sons. right, right, he was never in Thingol’s court while the jewel that Luthien and Beren took was there. we’re good. we’re good for now*

Gandalf: That’s, uh, nice, Bilbo. Put it away, would you?

Gandalf, telepathically(?): EMERGENCY RINGBEARERS ONLY CONFAB NOW

Gandalf: [mental image of a goddam Silmaril in hobbit hands, labelled “thisfuckingrockagain.jpg”]

Galadriel, who watched 95% of her family slaughter everyone within 100 miles for several thousand years over these things, including each other and themselves: no.

Elrond, who was very nearly one of those people slaughtered, and did watch most of his town be killed before he and his twin were kidnapped for a while: Absolutely Fucking Not.

Gandalf: Apparently fucking yes. The legendary Arkenstone-

Galadriel: You’ve got to be kidding me.

Elrond: Thorin Oakenshield has a Silmaril right now?

Gandalf: No, no.

Gandalf: Bilbo stole it.

Elrond: *wordless sputtering*

Gandalf: @Galadriel [information packet: BilboBagginsoftheShire.pdf]

Galadriel: Oh yes, Belladonna’s boy, you were telling me about him last winter. 

Galadriel: Btw, orc+warg army probably coming your way. Spotted it in the mirror last night. Thank goodness we dealt with Dol Goldur at least, huh?

Elrond: No fucking shit.

Gandalf @Gwaihir Windlord: hey, sorry to bother you again, I know it’s nearly mating season. but we have a situation again

Gandalf: [thisfuckingrockagain.jpg]

Gandalf: [oncomingorcwargarmy.jpg]

Gandalf: [flashbacktobadasseaglesinwarofwrathhinthint.mov]

I mean, given that Tolkien retconned “The Hobbit” so Bilbo’s little invisibility ring became an ancient piece of jewelry that controls minds and drives the mighty mad, one can at least understand why it seems plausible that the other shiny white gem that destroys empires and makes the mighty go mad with greed could be linked from his kid’s book to his gigantic early mythology in retrospect??

You know this actually explains a lot about why Gandalf didn’t immediately raise the alarm about Bilbo’s ring out of an abundance of caution. I mean, what are the odds, what are the fucking odds, that this one little hobbit stole both a Silmaril and the Ring of Power? Like, you are Gandalf the Grey and you have already dealt with the heart attack to end all heart attacks because this little innocent fool stole a world war inspiring artifact once. You still get flashbacks every time Bilbo offers to show you something and have to employ all of your angel’s serenity and thousands of years of learned composure not start giBbERinG “ pleaseletitnotbeanotherartifactpleaseletitnotbeanotherartifact”. And then. AND THEN! One day he’s like, “hey Gandalf let me show you this neat ring I found back on our journey”. And on the inside a tiny part of you is screaming “nottheoneringnottheoneringnottheonering” while a more rational part of your brain assures you it could not possibly be the one- “It’s this plain gold ring that’s very precious to me and turns me invisible!”

AND THEN YOU FUCK OFF AND SEARCH THROUGH EVERY POSSIBLE TOME YOU CAN TO PROVE IT CAN’T REALLY BE THE RING OF POWER, SAURON’S RING OF POWER, THAT RING, THE ONE RING, LITERALLY EVERY SINGLE TOME, BEFORE FINALLY FUCKING ACKNOWLEDGING THAT THIS SHIT IS REALLY HAPPENING AGAIN

@shewhodoesnotexist what says you? :P

I’ve never been a proponent of this theory, but I gotta admit the idea of Bilbo finding two world war inspiring artifacts is alluring ;D

Next you’ll be telling me Sting is Gurthang

Sting may or may not be Angrist, the knife that Beren used to get the Silmarill off of Morgoth’s crown

“Average Hobbit finds at least one world war inspiring artifact when on a journey” statistic inaccurate. The Spiders Took Family, who find a world war inspiring artifact every five feet they step outside the Shire, were outliers and should not have been counted.