HEY EVERYONE

At long last...I have published 7 Deadly Habits: Winning Over Exes and Influencing Demons!

Link to paperback and ebook here.

It is the direct sequel to 7 Deadly Habits of the Modern Demon Summoner, which is available here, but can be read alone.

And for those of you who are new here and have no idea what I'm talking about...

7 Deadly Habits is my demon-wielding assassin series, revolving around a pansexual assassin named Rey, whose romantic and sexual flings with other assassins are constantly coming back to haunt him.

It's a dark comedy, but it's also a light tragedy. It's romantic and yearning, while also being stinging and hateful.

It's also a romance told in reverse.

It's got LGBT assassins, sadistic demon magic, and a cursed city on the brink of destruction.

It also has the following triggers, so be warned: violent sex, violence in general, a lot of murder, a lot of swearing, some sexual content, Hayward, and mentions of child grooming.

And here's the full plot description:

And here's the description for book 2:

Twenty-three-year-old CEO Don Francisco wants one of the richest women in the world dead. Which one? Daphne Oakland: actress, model, heir to the Oakland financial empire, and unbeknownst to the general public, talented demon summoner. But since Francisco isn’t nearly as rich as the established Oakland family, he hires the only assassin he can afford: Sebastián Monterey, a down-on-his-luck, struggling demon summoner, the cheapest and lowest ranking one there is.

But Monterey is nothing like Cisco expected. He’s high-spirited, reckless, relentlessly cheerful …and worse, he’s a bit of a slut. The CEO is horrified to find out that Monterey has not just one, but seven angry exes in the killing business, who will stop at nothing to get in the way of an already impossible hit. Not only do they have personal reasons for wanting to see their former lover dead, they also have professional reasons: they are all currently employed by the Oakland family members!

But Daphne is too powerful for Rey to take on alone...and she's about to become even more unstoppable, by seeking out a contract with the strongest demon that has ever lived. If Rey is to carry out his hit, and keep all of Larkhaven from being destroyed, he must convince his exes to work with him. Can he do it or will his failed relationships doom all of Larkhaven?

And uh.

Scene.

Thanks for coming everyone!

I want to thank everyone who bought book 1!

Also, who were messaging me about the sequel long before it was ready ;-;

means the world to me that anyone at all cares about my little murder hobo, Rey...

Hope you're not mad at me by the end of book 2, though... ;)

You can't be an assassin and straight.

It's too homoerotic of a profession.

What do you mean, you're hunting other men?

You're bathing in their blood and hiding your identity from the world and you have bad relationships with your parents?

You're fighting other assassins who are holding their knives to your pretty throat and hurling chairs at your head and stabbing you in the thighs? You're bleeding and dying in each other's arms? Your dying breaths are commingling and your life force is dwindling, and all you can do is clutch each other tightly as you spiral into oblivion, but at least you're not alone, in the end?

This is the queer experience.

More queer assassins. Diversity win, that man who tried to kill you is pansexual.

If you agree, check out my new novel series.

But if you don't, it's ok to be wrong.

you guys ever think about an assassin who's really bad at his fucking job, and he has like, literally one job.

Kill this specific person.

But he just can't fucking do it, because he's a little cringefail nerd idiot, some kind of lethal buffoon, and all he does is accidentally collateral everyone around her like some kind of murder clown?

I think about him.

I think about him a lot. I'd pray for him, but I'm the one who's fucking him over all the time, so. It'd be counterproductive.

Anyway, that assassin's name is Rey and he's also slutty, pansexual, and you can read about his dumbass antics here.

you guys ever think about an assassin who's really bad at his fucking job, and he has like, literally one job.

Kill this specific person.

But he just can't fucking do it, because he's a little cringefail nerd idiot, some kind of lethal buffoon, and all he does is accidentally collateral everyone around her like some kind of murder clown?

I think about him.

I think about him a lot. I'd pray for him, but I'm the one who's fucking him over all the time, so. It'd be counterproductive.

Anyway, that assassin's name is Rey and he's also slutty, pansexual, and you can read about his dumbass antics here.

You can't be an assassin and straight.

It's too homoerotic of a profession.

What do you mean, you're hunting other men?

You're bathing in their blood and hiding your identity from the world and you have bad relationships with your parents?

You're fighting other assassins who are holding their knives to your pretty throat and hurling chairs at your head and stabbing you in the thighs? You're bleeding and dying in each other's arms? Your dying breaths are commingling and your life force is dwindling, and all you can do is clutch each other tightly as you spiral into oblivion, but at least you're not alone, in the end?

This is the queer experience.

Diversity win, that man who tried to kill you is pansexual.

If you agree, check out my new novel series.

But if you don't, it's ok to be wrong.

Full description below, and it is free for download on the free kindle app from now until July 4th.

All hail homoerotic fights to the death.

You can't be an assassin and straight.

It's too homoerotic of a profession.

What do you mean, you're hunting other men?

You're bathing in their blood and hiding your identity from the world and you have bad relationships with your parents?

You're fighting other assassins who are holding their knives to your pretty throat and hurling chairs at your head and stabbing you in the thighs? You're bleeding and dying in each other's arms? Your dying breaths are commingling and your life force is dwindling, and all you can do is clutch each other tightly as you spiral into oblivion, but at least you're not alone, in the end?

This is the queer experience.

More queer assassins. Diversity win, that man who tried to kill you is pansexual.

If you agree, check out my new novel series.

But if you don't, it's ok to be wrong.

Hmm so.

The Memoirs of the Mausoleum trilogy is far more edgy and angsty and angry. I wrote it when I was a teenager, and while I still love my edgy little angry blorbos, I do feel some cringe just remembering how edgy those bitches are.

But I am still proud of it, in a way.

So if you wanted to read a dark, twisted tale of childhood love turned sour and abuse and trauma and the evil that lurks beneath the surface of the earth, then Memoirs is the way to go.

Now my new series I am obviously promoting the most, since it's ongoing.

It's also still free till the end of the day!

So if you wanted. You could buy Memoirs, and then just download 7 Deadly Habits.

but that being said... 7 Deadly Habits IS ongoing.

So you would have to wait for the next installment (coming July...hopefully).

But.

It's a lot more light hearted and funny.

Dark comedy abounds.

It's also about demons and assassins, and has far more proactive characters.

Still edgy, but more mature and thoughtful?

So really it's a matter of preference.

Do you like Gothic ghost stories or high octane assassin demon fights more?

Whichever one...I appreciate you supporting me, regardless!!

Thanks for the ask!

I'm a demented sicko with an obsessive love for slutty assassins and fuckable demons and sick twisted angels. I'm positively frothing with the compulsive need to torment and traumatize deeply beautiful and broken fictional people, trapped in cycles of abuse and trauma, and worse things, as they grapple with the many fractured edges that make up shattered people with funhouse mirror souls.

I cannot help wanting to fuck their shit up but still let them cling to the only selves they find worth saving, I cannot write any dark and edgy story without also offering in equal parts, the campy, gory fun and irreverent gallows humor.

Join me on this journey.

I think it'll be fun.

Plus it's free.

Full description below, as I gnaw and snarl and bite a pillowcase stained with the blood of my favorite characters in the corner of my dungeon.

Just thought I'd collect all of my graphics for 7 Deadly Habits of the Modern Demon Summoner here. Book available here.

Sorry if your Tumblr crashes, but to be fair to me...I am not a software engineer at Tumblr, so.

Blame them.

Full description below.

Yeah. They're all in here, but pretend you have to choose one, when you can have them all.

hey, just a reminder for anyone who bought my pansexual assassin demon summoning book, or got it during a free giveaway, please leave a review on Amazon or Goodreads!

And for those who did not, think about checking it out! Description below:

Transcription in case they don't load:

all of these weapons and their assorted assassins are present in my assassin book, but you know. choose first.

Full description below also:

:DDDDDD omg, my heart started pumping faster when I saw this ask. I am always so giddy when people talk to me about my books, especially the specifics about characters and tone and things they liked!

Yeah, I wanted to include every goddamn color in the pride flag!!

Pansexual/ bisexual assassins, nonbinary demons, a transgender assassin, an unrealistic number of gay and lesbian demon summoners! That's my fantasy world. It's not talked about, because it's simply normal.

Irvine in particular I adore because I am nonbinary myself, but also because they are just so powerful, and they don't even know just how much yet!

I always disliked how many nonbinary characters in fantasy and sci fi are just token "they/them" body guards, robotic or asexual leaning non-humans, or quiet, unassuming love interests who only exist to show a character is pansexual or something.

Irvine was my love letter to my own identity because I thought hey what if there was a nonbinary character who just fucks shit up, every time they appear? What if there was an enby who just kicks ass and is sexily never showing their face, and wears a badass hood all the time?

And then Irvine was born. My little storm demon :)

Also, I don't know if you ever saw the commissioned art, but I will post it in this ask for your viewing pleasure:

so glad you love my child. my baby blorbo.

who i intend to put through the wringer, lemme tell you, because i like to put all my favorite characters through it.

So glad you find it unique too! I honestly was feeling so badly about it, after months of querying and beta swapping, and getting feedback from dozens of people who only found things to criticize as being too strange or too different or stylistically confusing.

I went through a year of being told it wasn't good, and-and I'm a little emotional and overcome with appreciation and gratitude to all the people who not only bought or downloaded the book while it was free, but who also actually read the whole thing, and found it GOOD.

Like people...think i...write well??? oh gosh. oh god.

chills.

The asks I get keep me going through this mundane, dull little world. They give me something to look forward to, in between the doldrums of normalcy...

They also validate me for thinking someone...someone out there must find this good...

Thanks for taking the time to send this ask :))) it means the world to me.

I save them all in my drafts so I can look at them when I'm sad...

Also, THANK YOU FOR NOTICING THAT THE BOOK IS FUNNY.

in between the angst and the action and the blood-filled fist fighting and crazy sniper/melee battles, there is a lot of dark comedy!

I love dark comedy. I love satire.

As much as I love being edgy, I think a story without any humor at all is unbearable.

I want you to hurt with my characters...but you should also laugh with them! Laugh at them! Be amused by their stupidity...or by their cleverness.

Be charmed by their vulnerability, but also their insane, abnormal, bizarre points of view!

AAAAH, I'm so glad you found it funny AND heart-breaking!

That is exactly what I want every story of mine to be.

Thank you thank you thank you for this ask!!

Link to referenced book here, for all the poor spectators who have to see me blubbering like a child.

Please leave a review on Amazon/Goodreads if you haven't already, but if you have, thank you for that too! Every review helps me out so much!

And yes. These are all characters from my demon summoning assassin novel, 7 Deadly Habits of the Modern Demon Summoner.

Which is COMPLETELY FREE to download on the free Kindle app (available for iOS, Android, tablet, etc. on the app store) from February 22nd to February 26th!

eBook only, but if you download it for free now, and like it, then you can always buy the physical copy to have on your shelf :D

Link here.

Full description below. I'd appreciate a reblog/signal boost, because I don't want anyone to miss grabbing the book while it's most accessible. But also vote on which one you think is the worst, because I promise you, they are much, much, much worse in the actual novel.

Anyway. Thanks for listening. Sorry to bother. But not that sorry.

One of the most romantic things to ever happen in cinema comes from this sleeper hit movie called RED, which is about a bunch of former spies/assassins coming out of retirement to do a job together.

One of the old spies is Helen Mirren, who has this wonderful exchange with another female character

Victoria (Helen Mirren) : You know, I was in love with an agent once.

Sarah Ross : What happened?

Victoria (Helen) : Well, I was with MI6. And the relationship wasn't... sanctioned. So when it came to light, my loyalty was questioned. And I was ordered to kill him. It was a test.

Sarah Ross : What did you do?

Victoria (Helen) : I put three bullets in his chest.

And it's like damn.

She cold as fuck? What a mommy. An ice cold assassin, who chose her career over her love.

But then.

You actually meet the guy, who shows Bruce Willis' character the 3 bullet wounds.

And then he says something so beautiful:

Ivan Simanov: [shows Frank his bullet wounds] This was done to me by the love of my life. Three bullets in the chest. When I woke alive, I knew she still loved me. Or else it would have been the head. It was big risk for her, of course, but one does crazy things for love.

And it's like....

how fucking beautiful....

Like just the set up was so good....and the payoff was magnificent.

"I was ordered to kill him...it was a test. I put three bullets in his chest."

"Three bullets to the chest....When I woke up alive, I knew she still loved me."

Like...if she wanted me dead... I'd be dead...she must love me!

If John Wick and Scott Pilgrim didn't inspire 7 Deadly Habits of the Modern Demon Summoner, then RED did.

Assassins that try to kill one another...but can't quite finish the job....their fingers twitch on the trigger, their aim is off, their aim for the chest instead of the head...

just slay me, darlings.