You fucking wish the author was dead. The author is on twitter

2 sentence horror story

octopus

if i had a dick i would love to have a disappointing orgasm in the shower while thinking of something or someone that i felt i should not be thinking about & then stand under the water with my forehead against a wall watching the proof of my guilt & shame go down the drain

The insight I get into the female mind thanks to this website is amazing.

not a female 👍

pause everybody take notes. real trans ally

probably no one else finds this funny and I’m driving away my friends a fraction of a percent at a time every time I do it, but I think the height of comedy is when you react to an emoji with the same emoji in a chat medium that permits this

literally

to escalate this, react with multiple versions of the same emote because nine different servers all have it available:

What I really want is that it is a *hidden* room with a cool secret entrance

update from the discord group courtesy of one of my mutuals;

do not trust that damned survey. change your discord password. utilize 2FA.

I use 2FA on every website I log into, and it didn't ask for any details when I took the survey, but I still don't trust that thing at all. One can never be too safe.

whoops I accidentally double reblogged but:

hi, i did some research on this but this link was not phishing and here's why:

qualtrics is a legit website that companies pay to host data gathering surveys to collect metrics on various things. you can also create free surveys but from what i understand the survey results aren't as in-depth as the paid versions get you.

it looks like the survey originates from a banner on the discord app and you click on it and it takes you to the site and you do the thing there. it was only rolled out to a certain amount of people (for the purposes to maybe only get people they thought would be pro-AI? who knows with Discord) but was then passed around everywhere because Fuck AI. And then Discord realized that things weren't going the way they wanted and pulled the survery.

I did some further research on the URL itself:

From ESET link checker it rates it as safe, I also plugged it into a few others as well like Fortinet and Bitdefender and both of those came back safe too, here's a screenshot of ESET:

info on the link itself from urlvoid:

the actual qualtrics site info from urlvoid as well to compare the age of the domain (usually phishing domains are very very young and/or brand new and not legitimate domains but these are both legitimate domains.)

and, inb4 people say "phishing attempts don't always have to ask you to enter your login credentials to scrape your info"

no keyloggers or malware after I clicked on the link (it's been 8 hours now and my discord account is fine).

hopefully, this will quell some panic about the discord thing, its always good practice to protect your account with MFA when it's offered and to change your password when you suspect something may not be right, it's better to err on the side of caution etc, but in this case, it's alright and there's no need to create any undue panic about a link to a survey. fuck AI and Discord should know better than to try and pull more wool over its userbases' eyes because did they not learn from the NFT thing?

okey dokey bye bye now

Are they like..... Yknow.... [Goes to do a hand gesture but forgets I'm a wizard and I accidentally cast Lv50 lightning bolt]

I think the grocery store was put there on purpose to psychologically program us for dinner

i got a 100% on this bostonian-to-english quiz but i grew up near boston..... i'm curious what you guys get. there's a couple things in here i didn't even know are regionalisms + a couple things i hadn't heard before but could parse pretty easily from context. tag/reply with what you got and if you're familiar with the area or not!

#didn't know these were regionalisms? i've never heard any of these phrases in my life (via @worldwarthree)

GENUINELY before today i thought fluffernutter and american chop suey were part of National American Culture (TM). i was so puzzled by those questions that i googled both bc i was like "ohhh, this quiz maker thinks some american things aren't as widespread as they are..... they're assigning regional markers to things that aren't regional...... every american will instantly recognize these...."

and then i discovered both of these things are, in fact, particular to the new england region.

& went. What.

This summer, I will have been married to a man from Massachusetts for 25 years. You learn things.

I…know a lot of people from Boston?

My kids did better on this than they did on the Boston one. For some reason.

yaaaaaas

I have never understood people who understand what's happening with their bodies. Like, I was talking to a friend once and she was explaining that she'd swapped the salad greens in her usual lunch from like a romaine mix to kale and "could really feel the difference it was making" ??

and meanwhile I am over here with the logic puzzle of: yesterday I drank eight cups of coffee and fell asleep at one am (normal) and today I drank two cups of coffee but it is now three am and I am still awake" and let me tell you. whatever the little machines inside my body are doing, I do not understand it

Yes of course I have adhd why do you ask

Nobodu knows how toys get on th shelf at the toy store. It could be shadowy actors who wish you harm

The current Realis episodes from Friends at the Table are as strange and dark as anything they've done and I wanted to try and capture that but the side of my brain that does the drawing had other ideas.

Sorry for being cranky, Reddit found one of my stream-of-consciousness posts that blew up and, because they're Redditors, missed the part where posting on Tumblr isn't the formal, high-effort act that Creating An Entire Reddit Post is viewed as.

There's a huge cultural split between "and yet you made an entire post about it" websites and "do you know you can make your own post" websites, which means that posts on the one type of site will be completely recontextualized by screenshotting them and putting them on the other type to the single-website segment of the userbase.

On a Redditlike site, which broadly also includes forums, creating a Post is a privilege reserved for someone who's done their time in the comments by standing out and saying Important and Related Things, such as highlighting the flaws of the original post. Making a Bad Post is a crime, and if you're not putting in the effort to pander to the specific type of content that the sub-community wants, you're making a Bad Post.

On a microblogging site, posting means that you have a text box in front of you that you're encouraged to dump whatever the fuck you want into. Firing off three posts in quick succession vaguely centered on the same topic because that's what's on your mind is called "using the website." Replying to someone else's post with your own tangent is annoying, because you can just make your own goddamn post.

This clash is why I do not like when Redditors hallucinate about some block of text I put on the internet while waiting for the bus several months ago as if it was some deliberately crafted Statement and not like, me seeing some stuff on Tumblr and participating in an ongoing conversation at the time.

im not really worried about aging because im only going to become hotter and more insane the older i get