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Feral Millennial

@mzminola / mzminola.tumblr.com

Min for short. "They" is a perfectly functional singular third person pronoun, and has been since the days of Chaucer. Do not repost my works to other websites. I am an adult, and write with an adult audience in mind. I tag for a handful of big triggers, some internet courtesy, and a LOT of archival purposes. The archival tags may not make sense to other people.

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Image: a two-circle Venn diagram. TimKon circle: himbo squared, friends to lovers, friend group shenanigans. JayTim circle: family drama, thicc thighs save lives, enemies to allies to lovers. Overlap: Tim’s life is hard & he deserves some beefcake.

Very serious fandom research findings.

The K-pop Musical I did not know I needed!

I have watched K-pop Demon Hunters and it was such a pleasant surprise! I went into it expecting a fun, light-hearted and silly story about a group of girls happily killing demons. Well, the movie was all of this, but also much much more.

KOREAN MAGICAL GIRLS

The premise is a twist on the classical "magical girl" story. As per usual there is a group of girls fighting demons. Of course they do so by being both stylish and badass and by using some kind of feminine magic. In this case, the feminine magic used is k-pop, as Rumi, Mira and Zoey are Korean idols. Well, I think this idea is brilliant and it lets the story combine two different storylines:

  1. The idol storyline, where they have to write a song to win the Idol Awards against a dark-horse boyband
  2. The saving the world storyline, where they have to create a magical barrier out of the hearts of people to defeat the Big Bad

All in all the merge is wonderful and it gives a surprisingly cohesive narrative, despite the medium being a movie rather than a series. In fact one of the things I appreciated the most is how the story sets up a coherent worldbuilding without making it too distractive for the audience: the golden Honmoon, the magical weapons and the demonic marks are all set up efficiently in the very first scene. Moreover, they tie well with the story and help pushing it forward, but are not overly complicated. The same goes for Mira and Zoey's characterization. They are well characterized (Mira is the badass hardcore one and Zoey is the adorkable one) and given little crumbs of background that help making them more human. Moreover, they do comment loosely on Rumi's story, as their respective insecurities mirror hers:

  • Just like Zoey, Rumi is a child of "two worlds" and struggles to reconcile her duality as a Huntress and a Demon
  • Just like Mira, Rumi is a "problem child" whose "jagged edges" could cost her Celine's love

So, Rumi combines Zoey and Mira's struggles in a narrative, which goes surprisingly deep and that made me love this story.

RUMI = THE HEART OF THE MOVIE

Rumi's arc combines several ideas that work both as a commentary of the idol industry and as a broader existential exploration. In short, her arc is both specific and universal.

On the one hand you can see Rumi's struggle to be perfect aka "golden" as specific of the idol world. After all, she is expected to be the best idol ever, since she is "idol royalty" and is "meant to be a Queen". So, she must always shine and be without flaws. She must suppress her insecurities, her mental illness, her love life, her physical imperfections and never take a break. This constant pressure resulting in Rumi damaging her voice is a pretty clear metaphor.

On the other hand Rumi's story is that of an imperfect child, who wants to be loved by her parent as she is. And that is an experience everyone can relate to. Rumi trying to fix herself by suffocating a part of herself is heartbreaking. And yet, seeing her slowly accepting this part more and more until she is able to refuse her parent's damaging vision of the world is inspiring.

Rumi's final confrontation with Celine is probably my favorite scene of the movie. I liked the choice of Celine loving Rumi, but not being physically able to accept her. Her refusal to touch or even look at Rumi in her demonic form felt very very raw and you can also see Celine's own struggle. She clearly cares about Rumi, but is still not able to love her unconditionally. Her re-iteration of the anti-theme "Our weakness and flaws can never be seen" also helped humanize her for me. It is obvious Celine too is a victim of this same damaging world-view and that she has been repressing herself a lot. In the end, Rumi's choice to still love herself even if Celine won't felt incredibly powerful. You could say that's the moment Rumi truly becomes an adult and grows into herself.

In short, Rumi's story is about integrating your darkest parts, so it is by definition a narrative centered around the shadow archetype. This is why this archetype is explored in the most important bond of the movie.

RUJINU = FALLING FOR YOUR SHADOW

Rumi and Jinu are love interests, but also each other's shadows. So, they represent what the other is repressing:

  • Rumi represents Jinu's humanity. She shows him that you do not have to just succumb to your shame. You can fight back not to let your flaws control you. You can choose which version of yourself you are gonna be.
  • Jinu represents Rumi's demonic heritage. He shows her that there is humanity and feeling in being a demon. Actually, he ended up a demon for his very human flaws (selfishness). He is also the first person who truly accepts Rumi for who she is as a whole. There is also the obvious idea Rumi is clearly projecting her family issues on his relationship with Jinu. After all, she is the child of a human and a demon, so she sees herself as a mistake. However, if Jinu is human enough for her to love him, then maybe her parents' love was right and she herself is worthy of existing.

So, Rumi and Jinu awaken different parts of each other and struggle together on the main theme of the story: how to deal with shame.

Rumi hides the parts of herself she is ashamed of. In a sense, she wants to cut them off completely. She wants to become "golden".

Jinu wears them on the sleeve and lets them define him. In a sense, he lets them spread as an infection he has no control over.

None of these approaches is right, which is why Rumi and Jinu's final confrontation before the final battle is so powerful:

Jinu: I left them! That's right. I lied to you. I only made a deal with Gwi-Ma to get myself out of that miserable life. (...) I left them. I left them. Rumi: But that's not all you are. This is just your demon talking. You have to fight it! Jinu: That's not how it works! Rumi: Yes, it is! Jinu: Listen to yourself. Is it working? You're a demon, just like me. All we get to do is to live with our pain, our misery. That's all we deserve.

Here, both are proving each other wrong. On the one hand Jinu betrayed Rumi because he was scared she would not have accepted his real self. And yet, the moment he tells her the truth (even after he hurts her deeply), Rumi doesn't give up on him. On the other hand Rumi keeps telling Jinu he should fight his demons, like her. Still, Rumi is deep down not behaving that much differently from Jinu. Jinu wants to erase his demons by forgetting his mistakes. Rumi wants to erase her demons by forgetting her origin. Both want to erase their shadows, but they can't, which is why they both fail just before the climax.

However, Rumi is able to come up with a new answer:

Gwi-Ma: The Honmoon is gone. Rumi: It is. So we can make a new one.

She is true to what she herself told Jinu:

Rumi: That't the funny thing about hope. Nobody else gets to decide if you feel it. That choice belongs to you.

Rumi chooses to love herself despite everything. She chooses to forgive herself and others and to stay hopeful. Thanks to this, she is able to reconnect with Zoey, Mira and her fans. She is able to reconnect with Jinu too and she inspires him to choose his humanity. Jinu sacrifices himself for Rumi and integrates with her, both as his love interest and his shadow. He becomes a part of her. Personally, I think Jinu's final sacrifice works because it is not punitive. In fact even after his betrayal, Rumi never wishes to kill him nor gives up on him. Rumi's final words to him were in fact her wish to set him free. At the same time, for Jinu to sacrifice for Rumi works because his major flaw is selfishness. Jinu is fully capable of love, but he is also selfish. It is actually the first thing we are told about him:

Gwi-Ma: I know you, Jinu. In 400 years, you've never done a single thing that didn't serve yourself.

He loved his family, but chose himself over them. He loves Rumi, but chose himself over her at the Idol Awards. In the end, he is finally able to choose another person over himself. And in this way, he is finally choosing his own self, as well.

A UNIQUE MUSICAL

Of course the best part of the movie and the true key of its success is the music. They managed to make a musical out of the k-pop genre and I am all here for this!

Every song is used wonderfully, as it either pushes the story forward or adds dimension to the theme or both.

"How it's done" is used to introduce the characters, establish their personalities, fighting styles and how their powers work (they make weapons out of the Honmoon)

"Golden" starts exploring the theme of "No more hiding", but it does so superficially. The lyrics of the song seem to convey the theme, but the characters are not being true to them. Not only that, but the song only focuses on the best parts of our protagonists. Not on their flaws.

"Takedown" is the antitheme. It is about refusing your worst parts choosing to "rake them down". The way the composition of this song comments on the main story is also great. Rumi is the one who comes up with the idea, but she progressively grows more and more unsure about it. The moment Rumi's lies catch up to her and she is confronted with her worst nightmare as the fake Mira and Zoey sing the song is probably one of the best scenes in the movie.

"Soda Pop" and "Your Idol" are the two faces of the Saja Boys. "Soda Pop" basically says the same thing as "Your Idol", but with an upbeat and happy sound, which makes the demon boyband look harmless. When it comes to "Your Idol", it is the negation of the negation thematically. What is worse than repressing your worst parts? Well, giving it to them and letting them control you.

"What It Sounds Like" is the true theme of the story. It is a song about accepting your worst part and loving yourself regardless. Its lyrics also comment the girls' journeys like Rumi finally showing her "true voice" or Huntrix finally being able to write "the song they couldn't write". Zoey's reference to the different colors inside her head also ties visually with Rumi's marks becoming combination of different colors. Rumi herself and the Honmoon by the end are neither golden nor purple/black, but a whole rainbow.

Speaking of visuals, the animation and character designs were top notch. I am sure there are many many little details I missed about it. Still, one thing I noticed is how Huntrix's "golden outfits" commented on their emotional states.

When Rumi launches Golden and the trio wear their costumes, Demon Girl is the only one with a white top and a dark blue jacket. Mira and Zoey's costumes have instead white jackets over darker tops. I think this may be because Rumi is the one who is hiding and repressing the most out of the three. After all, her blue jacket is used to cover her purple marks. Mira and Zoey are instead more open about themselves. However, they too need to integrate some hurting parts hence why they tops are dark blue.

At the Idol Awards Performance, Huntrix's outfits have changed slightly. Both Mira and Zoey wear dark blue jackets over dark blue tops. Moreover, they added pads to their costumes. This shows how the accumulated tension within the group has taken a toll on them. Rumi's lies and inability to open up have been slowly piling up on Mira and Zoey emotionally. Rumi herself doesn't change colors, but she too adds a shoulder pad on only one side (in general, some asymmetry on her shoulders is a recurring visual motif with her). I think this shows that she is slowly accepting her duality and that she is not wearing a whole "armor" anymore. It is only half an armor because she has been slowly integrating her demonic parts.

Finally, when they sing "What It Sounds Like", Huntrix's outfits change again. On the one hand Mira and Zoey's costumes become completely white and golden after the three girls hug. There is no trace of blue left. On the other hand Rumi loses her jacket and dark blue parts during her "takedown". She does not cover herself up again. She actually refuses to be covered up again by Celine. Rumi's adoptive mother tries to cover her daughter's marks by using her own gray/green jacket. Interestingly, green is also the color Rumi wears as a child, when she and Celine are in front of the grave of Rumi's mother. Finally, gray/green is the color Rumi wears at the beginning of the "Golden" musical video:

So, it is clearly a color associated with Celine and her philosophy. For Rumi to free herself from it is symbolic of her truly becoming "the queen she is meant to be". As a result, Rumi faces the final battle with no walls, but she is actually the one who exposes the most skin. This lets her marks visible as a symbol that she is not hiding herself anymore. By the end of the song, all three girls have fully embraced their true selves.

In conclusion, I really really liked this movie. It was clearly made with passion and managed to use its screentime very well to pull off some amazing character arcs and to convey a multi-layered theme. It also clearly let room for spinoffs or a sequel. After all, the final frame is literally a giant Huntrix poster which has "Comeback" written on it :P

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We’re so diligent about it that I forget that me and like two point five of my friends are the only people on the planet who call Andre the Ice Cream Man from Miraculous Ladybug “the amatonormative ice cream witch”. This concept has gradually built up a lot of interconnected lore and sometimes I have to pause and remind myself that we made absolutely all of it up as a joke.

It's true like this is relatively self-explanatory so far! I think where we started to get Weird with it was the career day episode when Luka says his life goal is to "help people with his music" or whatever, at which point we went "ohhhh I see, I understand everything now, Luka's career goal is guitar witch."

Like okay you have this second character who has mystical insights into people's emotional states through the medium of a devoted hobby. And he's not as systematic or inexplicable about it, but he's still a teenager. He apparently wants to make diagnosing the songs of people's hearts a job. CLEARLY, Luka is going to replace Andre as Paris's witch.

And I believe in my heart that he won't be such an amatonormative weirdo about it! Andre is welcome to prove me wrong, but I'm convinced that if a polyamorous triad tried to get ice cream from his cart he would break down into tears at minimum. I think Andre the Ice Cream Man would be aphobic at me.

And from there you just keep yes-anding outwards semilogically. Like obviously when we got around to the New York special we immediately identified the hot dog guy as NYC's hot dog witch even though he's introduced as a superhero. He's a wandering vendor who gives people variants on a single type of food imbued with a minor mystical gimmick. Come on now.

We're simply sifting the truth from the bones!

"Andre is welcome to prove me wrong, but I'm convinced that if a polyamorous triad tried to get ice cream from his cart he would break down into tears at minimum."

Okay, but that part's canon. In Heart Hunter, he offered different flavor pairs to Marinette, Adrien, and Kagami, and left it up to Marinette to decide on the flavor pair. Marinette asked if they could have all three flavors together and he said no.

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Incredibly belated birthday gift for @mc-lukanette !! They wanted some soft lukanette with the knitting fairy and I was more than happy to provide~

I went way back in time to an idea/AU we had years ago and brought some pin cushion cuddles into the mix.

Thanks for being the best bean <3 |Check my Miraculous Ladybug tag for redesigns and lukanette content| |DO NOT REPOST MY WORK|

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Sith Padme AU Part 2

continued from here

Padme and Anakin both viscerally sense the death of tens of thousands of Jedi and the rise of the dark side. Anakin, tormented by guilt over abandoning the jedi in their greatest hour of need and also insanely sleep-deprived, passes out. Padme goes into labor, for real. As far as Anakin can tell when he wakes up, the twins are the only spots of light in the galaxy.

As referenced earlier, the councilors cease their chase of Palpatine upon activation of Order 66, retreating to the temple to defend the younglings. A few desperate and deeply tragic “I’ll hold them off” moments as the top Jedi fighters hold off hundreds of brainwashed clones so children can escape.So while those out in the field are still lost (with the exception of Yoda and Obi-Wan, as per canon) the very young and a few of the very old manage to escape the total genocide. That’s…better than canon, at least. Right? 

Padme’s maternity leave is immediately interrupted by non-stop emails from her evil boss.

Palpatine: WHere R U TWO?? Padme: Um, labor? Babies were your idea, Master, remember? Palpatine: Seriously? you couldn’t have held it in? Padme: … Padme: [ATTACHED IMAGE]

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Do I Wanna Know by the Arctic Monkeys

Sith!Padme AU

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AU where Padme was another one of Palpatine’s apprentices (in the loosest sense of the word, because Sidious, of course, less had apprentices, and more had tools: Maul a machete, Dooku a rapier, Vader a tactical warhead, and Padme a scalpel)

Episode one plays out effectively the same (Padme takes a little longer before returning to Naboo, ramping up casualties, and doesn’t seriously attempt to press charges on the Trade Federation afterwards. This cements Sheev’s and Padme’s reputation as tragic but noble leaders, with Sheev as the strong protector and Padme as the republic representative crying out for protection. Desire for a military increases relative to canon, and so does the perception of the trade federation as a Titan).

Episode two plays out identically, with Padme making the same character choices and saying the same lines, only they, uh, actually make a bit more sense. (Padme is somewhat bemused that after years of training as a femme fatale, her biggest mark is also her easiest). The film ends with the galaxy at war and the Chosen One firmly in the grasp of the Sith.

During the clone wars, Anakin is weirdly both worse off and better off than canon. Worse off for the obvious reasons, in that he now has two people actively subtly encouraging him to forget about empathy and revel in violence. Better off in that Padme is starting to become conflicted (because this is a story and obviously the seductress has to start actually developing feelings for the sucker she’s stringing along). Padme’s darker side starts leaking out in a less calculated manner, since she just wants her dark prince already. 

And Anakin is at his best when he’s helping others.

When Darth Konigin acts more aggressively, losing patience with her ‘reluctantly violent pacifist facade’ and makes to shoot an unarmed man, Anakin becomes calmer, negotiating peace. When she speaks bitterly about the republic and sentient life in general, Anakin points out hope, taking her for a romantic dinner made by some humble refugees of the Hutts who found freedom in the republic. When Padme actively encourages him to kill the fools who dared take her captive, Anakin becomes more righteous, making sure they get a fair trial.

So you get this odd dynamic of Anakin behaving more consistently in a moral manner the more obviously evil Padme acts because, hey, everyone has moments of uncontrollable violence! Anakin’s a good husband and is determined to be the Obi-Wan moral backbone so she isn’t kept awake at night by guilt! There’s also a bit more emotional honesty on Anakin’s side, as he isn’t even vaguely trying to conceal his darkest thoughts because she really gets it <3 <3 <3

At a loss for getting him to fall, Padme reluctantly goes off birth control, because there ain’t no leverage like helpless infant leverage.

Episode three stays the same until Anakin finds out Palpatine is the Sith Lord. After telling Master Windu and being ordered ordered to stay behind, he immediately runs off to Padme (who really <3 gets <3 internal conflict). 

Padme, a true Sith, decides to betray her Master at this point, stalling the Chosen One in the hopes the Jedi will manage to weaken or kill her Master (she know that she’s no more essential than Dooku, and as soon as Anakin falls…). Pretends to go into labor; the two fly to Naboo. Palpatine, outmatched, flees and activates Order 66. Without Anakin in the mix, the battle for the temple is a lot more prolonged. Mace Windu survives, smuggling out—you know what, this is getting kinda long so I’m just gonna cut it here.

Have you got color in your cheeks?
Do you ever get that fear that you can’t shift the type
That sticks around like summat in your teeth?
Are there some aces up your sleeve?
Have you no idea that you’re in deep?
I’ve dreamt about you nearly every night this week
How many secrets can you keep?
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Star Wars Time Travel AU #29 - Frog Promise AU

  • Several years after the defeat of the emperor, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker is roaming the galaxy doing good, kicking ass, and hunting down scattered Jedi knowledge
  • He flies through some sort of force nexus. his ship crashes on Naboo in the midst of the trade federation invasion, shortly after Queen Amidala escapes with Obi-Wan and Qui-Gon
  • has no idea where he is or what happened but invading robot army terrorizing people seems bad, even if the droids are really outdated
  • he’s vaguely heard of the trade federation
  • used to roaming the post-war galaxy and solving problems alone- a jedi unrestrained by any council or senate, or even traditional jedi values- which makes him 100x more effective and 1000x more terrifying
  • On top of that he’s a Skywalker- insanely OP even for a Force user. and he doesn’t even know it! ‘All things are possible with the force’ and no one around to correct him 
  • (Not to mention trained in Guerilla warfare by the best of the rebellion)
  • Basically by the time Padme makes it off Tatooine and checks her messages, she’s ecstatic to learn that the Jedi have already freed her planet and annihilated the trade federation army
  • Footage starts breaking across the Holonews and people are in an uproar because did I mention how terrifying Luke is
  • It’s the mandalorian hallway scene except instead of super special dark troopers he’s just mowing down bobble heads with toothpick arms
  • takes down the control ship single handedly and wow that was easy thats some stupid programming to link the whole army to 1 ship
  • Instead of continuing to Courascant they do a 180 back to Naboo because all the reports show the planet is free! 
  • Qui-Gon and Obi-Wan are just???? Never seen that guy before??
  • …time travel revelation and confusion…plot…
  • EVENTUALLY this leads to Terrifying Mysterious Master Jedi Luke eagerly showing up to the temple like ‘I promised Master Yoda I’d return to complete my training’ also “I brought him these swamp frogs, I remember him mentioning he liked the ones from Naboo” and pulls a live frog from his pocket
  • “Took long enough, you did” Yoda says. No idea who this guy is but he likes his vibe because Luke is attached but he’s so firmly in the light and he somehow knows Yoda’s absolute most feral inner self
  • Grandmaster Yoda eats the frog in front of the increasingly distressed Council
  • 29 year old Master Luke “…um..S…vader” is running around happily with braid and terrible padawan haircut while the order is trying to fend off the media and an insane amount of trade federation lawsuits
  • backing up a tiny bit- after the planet is freed someone mentions contacting the jedi council and luke’s like hold up the what whatnow
  • sits down and meditates and holy sithspit thats a lot of force users
  • Temple: ?! did someone just cc everyone? The f**k? Who does that? Does anyone know this guy?
  • Councilthis is somehow Qui-Gon Jinn’s fault.
  • Qui-Gon: this is not my fault, I was on Tatooine winning an overpowered slave child in a pod race- completely unrelated to this other op guy
  • its important to me that Luke takes the most direct path possible to the whole Palpatine=evil sith thing. Like I’m not going to say he puts zero thought in. But. 
  • There’s a parade. Some Jedi arrive. “Hi Master Yoda good to see you i’ve got to go accept some orb but we should definitely talk after this!”
  • thought you said you didn’t know that guy.”
  • “…Long life i have lived. Expected to remember everyone, I can’t be.”
  • Fancy old man tries to hand Luke weird symbolic orb thing, “thank you for your service I look forward to working with you in the future.” 
  • “Do I know you? You look almost familiar.”
  • “That’s Senator Palpatine”
  • "Oh. OH hells NO. Master Yoda? Did you know this guy is a Sith Lord?!”
  • Cheering in front row starts to die down. Confused murmurs.
  • Serious accusation, that is.”
  • At the parade, on a live broadcast to the whole galaxy, with literally no proof except the galaxy-sized duracrete-balls Confidence of a man who’s spoken directly to god and been electrocuted by satan himself:
  • “Ok, first of all,  I don’t work with Sith Lords. Which is what you are. I’m also reasonably confident you arranged this invasion. So. Accepting the orb from you feels in bad taste. My apologies Queen, this is a lovely parade. Please do not trust this man, who, I repeat, is both the follower of an ancient force practice still widely associated with unspeakable evil, and definitely manipulating everyone in a selfish bid to power.”
  • Dramatic Exit 
  • Band continues to play uncertainly
  • This contributes to the lawsuits

continued here

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As an occasional visitor to Star Wars fandom, here are some things I would like to see come out of Rogue One:

- the fic about the reactions of the Empire’s IT and records management departments when they learn that some trigger-happy general just literally blew up an entire unique archival repository of key bureaucratic data - the comic about the first time some maintenance technician tries to repair something on the Death Star and the guy’s like, ‘where’s the documentation?’ and their boss is like ‘um, well, funny story about that….’ - the in-depth analysis about various mistakes the Empire makes in the original trilogy and how they operate in context of an organization that has just, I repeat, LITERALLY BLOWN UP ALL OF THEIR OWN BACKUP DATA. Of course it’s easy for any random hero to impersonate a Stormtrooper! THEY DESTROYED ALL THEIR OWN PERSONNEL FILES.

Rogue One, or, Why All The Empire’s Librarians and Archivists Joined the Rebellion

Rogue 2 plot summary: a bunch of Imperial waste management techs go AWOL and steal the Death Star plans back from the Rebels because how else are we supposed to get the dianoga out of the pipes when we have literally no idea where half of these ducts go or what they’re for

they complete their mission but in the end decide not to delete the plans from the main Alliance computers after they’ve made their copy because ehhhhh what if we never had to fix anything on that piece of shit again, what if that, it’s insured right?

This also explains why none of the bridges or giant pits in the floor have railings: literally no one knows if they’re supposed to be there or not, and once someone tried to drill into the floor to install some and destroyed the main air circulation wiring for half the station, now everyone just has to be real careful all the time

It also means that when they built the second Death Star in ROTJ they had to start entirely from scratch, yikes

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bookelfe

in the end they decide not to delete plans from main Alliance computers because their heist crew contains one records manager who’s like ‘look, we’re SUPPOSED to have redundant data backups, this way we’re not even paying for the storage!’

Paging @fahye because PUBLIC SERVANTS

this post has made the rounds amazingly on my dash and now it’s LITERALLY CALLING MY NAME. pour one out for that tfa fic I was writing about della calrissian, disgruntled member of the new republic capital electoral commission, just trying to do her job and not get involved with the rebellion AGAIN. never doubt my commitment to space bureaucracy.

I LOVE PEOPLE!

(Seriously, who’s up for a zine/anthology/cooperative AO3 series (group? tag? IDK) around the theme of various public servants sabotaged the Empire, joined the Rebellion, or avenged the besmirchment of their domains. #public servants of the empire, or the like.)

I love the way the glaring fucking design flaw that’s been pointed out since New Hope came out (your flying doom-planet that you’re going to use to subjugate the galaxy will explode entirely into so much space-dust after a love-tap from a single-pilot fighter if it’s in the right place? were you people high when you designed this?) just got shutupshutupohmygodshutuped away with Secret Rebels Sabotaging Things.

And it explains so much else, about everything, doesn’t it?

No guardrails over fucking bottomless pits? Some rebel sympathizer on the allocation committee line-itemed half the safety shit right out of the budget.

Helmets with no peripheral vision because fuck you, that’s why? The woman who designed them got conscripted into the job, and the only thing that makes her smile is watching those douchebag noncoms crash into each other in Y-intersection corridors.

Nobody notices there being extra stormtroopers running around? With the way Lieutenant Bob keeps dicking with the schedule, nobody can say for sure there shouldn’t be purple flying monkeys manning the security checkpoints.  He’s run three Emperor Inspection Drills in as many weeks, and just three days ago he put the entire unit on duty at once and left the overnight shift “TBA.” He’s doing more to tank morale than Vader’s temper.  Coincidentally, Lieutenant Bob’s homeworld got hit with a punitive tax hike six months ago, and people are literally starving in the streets.

The guy who checks itineraries and rosters for incoming shuttle flights believed the hype about joining up and seeing the Galaxy.  Turns out fuck literally every actual thing about this job, from officer infighting to civilian casualties to Vader’s last-minute order to have every surface in his on-board suite kitted out with fucking lava lamps, of all things.  Like, they’re in space.  He gets that, right?  They can’t just stop by SpaceMart and pick up stuff like that.  His boss is a dick and he was up all night making lava lamps out of cooking oil and food coloring, and you know what?  The last thing he wants to do right now is check the manifest on the next delivery of cooking oil.  He’s had enough with cooking oil.  He took five showers when he got back to his quarters, and he still smells like fucking canola.  The Wookie and the guy who hasn’t shaved in a month and the guy still picking half a tumbleweed out of his hair can blow up the entire fucking station for all he cares–he will help them plant the explosives, if it comes down to it–so long as they don’t make him talk about the cooking oil he’s signing off on as being delivered.

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i never posted the exhaustive but incomplete timeline of the pop star wars au i made did I

(sidenote - this is one of my crackiest, most self-indulgent aus (it says a lot about my aus that ‘Obi-Wan Kenobi Time Travels and becomes Space Hannah Montana and this somehow generates an ungodly cash flow’ is not for sure my MOST cracky au. why did i develop this much plot detail. is this a sign of mental instability.)

Preview:

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pelcan Mouth perfec t size for put baby in to n\ap! inside very Soft and Comfort baby sleep soundly put baby in Pelican Mouth. Put Baby In Pelican Mouth. no problems ever in peliccan mouth because good Shape and Support for baby neck weak of big baby head. Apelican Mouth yes a place for a baby put baby in pelican mouth can trust pelican for giveing good love to baby. friend pelican

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Cultural Fashion: Toph’s Original Hairband

So one detail of Toph’s design that I’ve always found intriguing were the little pom-poms decorating her hairband. They always seemed so uncharacteristically cutesy for Toph. I felt they must have had some sort of real life inspiration and I think I’ve found the source!

Pictured on the left is a Chinese Opera performer. As you can see, Chinese Opera headdresses, known as kuitou (盔头), tend to be decorated with pom-poms, known as róng qiú (绒球). And, like Toph’s hairband, kuitou tend to be positioned high enough on the head to leave room for bangs or fringes. In other words, I believe Toph’s hairband is a homemade and simplified kuitou.

It may sound a bit far-fetched, but hear me out: Toph grew up very rich and there’s nothing more classically bourgeois than spending a night at the opera. It’s also very music-heavy, so her parents would probably see it as an appropriate interest for their blind daughter. They invite performance troupes to their estate to put on shows for Toph, but it’s not the singing or dialogue that enchants their daughter, it’s the fight scenes.

Skip ahead a few years and Toph has just discovered the Earth Rumble bending tournament. She’s told she’ll need to bring her own costume. Her only reference point for costumes are the opera costumes that her parents allowed her to touch. She decides she’ll need her own kuitou, even if it’s just a simple one with only two róng qiú hastily glued on. Chinese opera róng qiú are traditionally made with mulberry silk, the most expensive silk you can purchase, so Toph’s pom-poms are also a subtle allusion to her rich-kid roots.

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