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how the hell did u find me omg

@monkesupreme / monkesupreme.tumblr.com

DC Sideblog for when I predictably hyperfixate every 6-8 months 💖
Rem || He/She/They

bruce haters will present you with a thirty-year-old panel of bruce beating up a drug addict and say here i have undeniable proof that batman is a bad guy actually and if you say don't you think this was politically motivated and says more about the writer than batman himself they will respond with well my favorite character never beat up any drug addicts as part of a misguided attempt by dc to discourage teenagers from abusing methamphetamines in the mid-nineties (not their exact words) and then you have to find a nice way to tell them that their favorite character is culturally insignificant 😔

I hated Bruce ever since he cut his son's neck. Go ahead and explain how that's politically motivated or whatever. I'll wait...

jason should have ducked that's on him

I loveee fantasy settings doing magical exhaustion:

  • burnt out pyromancers emitting steam and smoke
  • tired cryomancers shivering with visible foggy breath
  • weary necromancers looking ill and hearing voices
  • frazzled healers receiving the same cuts, bruises, and injuries of their patients

Druid, low on magic: I'm [coughs up flowers] fine.

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Anonymous asked:

Midwest repression plus kryptonian stamina? You know that means Clark probably fucks like an absolute machine. After their first time, Bruce is left sore in all the right ways and thinking about what a huge mistake he's made. You see, now that he's had Clark, he knows that sex with anyone else would be underwhelming.

This would probably be ok if they had a serious relationship, but imagine this realization coming to him if they had just fooled around in what Bruce thought was a casual friends with benefits way?

I love the idea of them both lying in bed silently thinking "well this just ruined sex for me with anyone else" and not realizing that the other person is thinking the exact same thing.

Yes, Midwest Repression + Stamina is a heady combination, but Bruce also has that rare combo of Stubbornness + Insane Experience + Used to Being Rough. They're a very, very good match and neither of them wants to admit it out loud.

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For @superbatweek2024, Day 1: Costume swap

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It’s loud.

Bruce has a fraction of a split second to realize this after the magic strikes out and rolls over his skin. He is pulled out and displaced, suddenly feeling the air on his bare hands and exposed face. And then the sound and noise of the entire world crashes down, sending him to his knees. His pained gasp is lost in the cacophony, drowned out by sirens and rainstorms, music and birdsong, whispers and cries. The hands clapped over his ears do nothing to block out the noise. 

Red creeps along the back of his eyelids, a mounting heat. The sheer amount of stimulus tears across his nerves, every sensory neuron set alight with more information that he knows what to do with. Bruce, commanding all of Clark’s senses and none of his rein. It crests like a wave and he doesn’t know how to make it stop

“Bruce,” he hears someone whisper, hears it repeated a thousand times over around the world. A hand lands on his shoulder, but Bruce doesn’t move for the fear of slipping up with his strength.

“—hear me?” The hand grasps him tight, a firm pressure that he can feel in far more detail than he thought possible. The voice is familiar, made foreign by the fact that it’s not coming from him. “Listen to me. Can you do that?”

He can. He listens. It’s easy, almost natural, how he gravitates towards that voice like a star in orbit. It fills his ears like a solid presence, a veil that reduces everything else to a hush. And along with the voice; the sound of a beating heart. Bruce hasn’t heard a heart beat this way before, but it’s obvious that this body has. This body remembers that familiar rhythm and its soothing cadence of muscle and blood.

Once he’s sure the heat won’t spill from his eyes, he blinks them open. Batman, or the visual of him, stares back at Bruce. Clark in Bruce’s suit and his skin.

“There you are,” Clark says, and it’s strange to hear Clark’s inflections in the tone of Bruce’s voice. “You okay?”

Bruce manages a nod. He looks at himself—at Clark, and tries not to look through him. Cartilage and fascia isn’t a reassuring sight.

“Sitrep,” Bruce demands, resisting the urge to cringe at the unfamiliar voice rumbling in his throat. Hopefully this condition is easily reversible. But for the time being, at least Clark's suit is comfortable.

I still think it’s hilarious that the reason nobody ever figures out Superman’s secret identity or where he lives or what he does when he’s not saving the planet, is because he already told them all the Kryptonian stuff that can’t be tied to any of his human friends or family. I guarantee you the in-universe wikipedia article on Superman lists his name as Kal-El and the “personal life” section says that he lives full-time at his private fortress of solitude at the north pole. Nobody in the world looks at Clark Kent and thinks “oh my god, maybe he’s superman!” for the same reason nobody ever starts to suspect that their coworker who looks KINDA like Barack Obama is actually secretly Barack Obama – They know who Barack Obama is and know what he does and they know their coworker Greg is Greg and not Barack Obama. They have no reason to assume Barack Obama secretly moonlights as Greg The IT Guy at their workplace even though they’ve never seen Greg and Obama in the same place. At best, “Greg is secretly Obama” would be a running joke at the office, and the same is true at the Daily Planet. “Kal-El of Krypton, who lives in a CRYSTAL PALACE at the NORTH POLE and whose dayjob is SUPERMAN, sometimes puts on a suit and pretends to be a clumsy reporter and lives in a one-bedroom walkup in Metropolis” is a ridiculous concept to anyone who doesn’t already know it’s true

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smallflowernerd

[From Max Landis’ amazing “American Alien” series about Superman.] SO GOOD

SCREAM 👏🏻 IT 👏🏻 TO 👏🏻 THE 👏🏻 BACK 👏🏻 SO EVERYONE 👏🏻 CAN 👏🏻 HEAR

His shit eating grin in the last one sells it

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otherwise-called-squidpope

I love the idea of Clark Kent turning up to every office Halloween party in an ill-fitting Superman costume from Target.

Still one of my favorite clips from Superman: The Animated Series.

This has gotten bigger since I last saw it ant that’s FANTASTIC

Henry Cavill literally once stood in Time Square, in a superman t-shirt, under a giant poster of himself and no one recognised him, even though he was actively trying to be recognised.

I’ve never seen this post but it just became my favorite post on the internet

Wanna know the kicker?

In the first chapter of JLA’s “Divided We Fall Arc” both Clark and Bruce reveal their civilian identities to the rest of the League. This is post “Tower of Babel” where nobody but Clark still trusts Batman, and in order to start building trust again, Clark urges Bruce to unmask himself to the rest of the team because Bruce obviously knows who everyone else is. Bruce agrees on one condition, Clark has to “unmask” himself as well.

When the big reveal goes down, Kyle Rayner says it best re: Clark being Superman: “He doesn’t…wear a mask. I never even…thought he had a…day job…”

That’s right, the canon reason why nobody makes the connection between Superman and Clark Kent is because nobody thinks that Superman HAS a civilian identity.

Also, with a really good actor, Clark Kenting is entirely possible, as Christopher Reeve demonstrates in the 1978 Superman film.

There was actually a story where a scientist at Lexcorp developed a computer program to analyse all available evidence and work out who Superman is

It figured out he was Clark…and Lex fired the scientist for wasting company resources because he COULDN’T BELIEVE that Superman would ever “Pretend” to be human because it would mean pretending to be “Weak”

90% of Superman’s disguise is everyone else doing the work for him

the best secret identity of all.

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biggest-gaudiest-patronuses

what @mercy-angel-09 said

dc comics heritage post

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