you're right. it's so annoying to see so many peri-trans people put so much focus on what someone was assigned at birth, just in a 'progressive' way that keeps (binary) peri-trans people in mind. consequently, you get a bunch of policing of intersex people and our genders because we may not fit neatly into popularized frameworks that focus so hard on AGAB.

my intersex transfem experience is seeing people who claim to support us turn around and construct hoops we have to jump through to be 'supported'. god forbid we don't fit perisex-focused binaries or follow their rules when it comes to our genders, because it would be too inconvenient for perisex people to reconstruct how they view gender and sex enough to not be fucking weird about intersex people existing in their spaces, I guess.

for example, a take that I've seen a concerning number of times is 'I support intersex transfems, you just have to be AMAB or you aren't valid!' and it's like, yeah, it's so supportive to hyperfocus on what we were either born closest to or were/are forced to resemble. very progressive take. I feel very supported right now. /sar

hey, here's a tip: if you're making a poll for intersex people, don't give the perisex people a button to click, especially not multiple buttons. they'll live when something isn't catered to them because fucking EVERYTHING is catered to them. hope this helps.

I often feel reluctant to publicly acknowledge or talk about being transmascfem. I don't want to become even more of a target for TME/TMA users, because while I've already blocked most of the particularly egregious blogs, more can always crawl out from the depths of the bog to accuse me of being an ultra-transmisogynist tee em ee trying to worm my way into the 'tma' club. sometimes I fear I water down the transfem part of 'transmascfem' to avoid such trouble, since it can't create a problem for me if I don't ever talk about it, right? god forbid intersex and/or nonbinary individuals take up space in the trans community, am I right?

it just sucks because I was so happy when I first learned that such an identity is a thing, and now I'm wary of bringing too much attention to identifying as such. I'm trying to get over that wariness, though, by not only having the label there in my bio but by making actual posts about it again.

I want to educate people about how diverse trans experiences can really be outside of perisex and binary presentations, because I can get rather passionate about the topic. additionally, I like reading comments from people about how my blog has taught them things and/or helped them figure something out about themselves. I think that's a huge reason why I haven't just... left tumblr altogether.

seeing someone else with an experience that resonates with your own can be a very valuable resource, and I love being that resource. it just sucks that not everyone is willing to engage with such a thing in good faith or get angry at you for providing it.

I love GNC trans people. it's just so awesome to exist in that way, to present as what people expect your AGAB to present like and declare that you are another gender entirely.

I love people who do things that are considered GNC, but they don't consider it GNC themselves. as a transmasculine entity who paints its nails and wears makeup, crop tops, jewelry, and the occasional dress, I don't really see it as all that GNC. genderfucky, sure, but all of these things still feel masculine for me.

additionally, I love intersex and trans women who have facial hair and see it as part of their femininity. I love trans women who feel feminine while wearing what other people consider 'masculine'. I love trans and intersex and fat men who feel manly with boobs. I love trans men and transmascs who don't feel feminine while having a style that's considered 'feminine'. I love trans people who are simply alternative and can be labeled GNC because of that, but don't see themselves as such personally. I love the intersex people who are told they are 'basically men/women' because of how they look and/or present, but identify firmly with something else and see these so-called manly/womanly traits as part of their masculinity/femininity.

I love multigender people who consider themselves gender nonconforming, as well as the multigender people who don't. same goes for nonbinary people.

I love GNC cis (perisex) people, too. gender nonconformity is just cool as fuck in general. being yourself and rejecting the label of gender nonconforming, despite what other people may think based on your presentation and body, is also cool as fuck. may you feel less pressure to change yourself for anybody.

thinking about how perisex people need to shut the fuck up about whether PCOS 'counts' as intersex or not, because they will never know what it's like to get that diagnosis. they will never know what it's like to be 13 and being told that your hormonal differences will masculinize your body, that it's a BAD thing that it will do that, and then you get put on estrogen disguised as birth control pills to prevent that and encourage a 'normal' menstrual cycle (as is my personal experience).

I feel like a broken record, but perisex people have got to stop talking over intersex people. and while not every intersex person 'agrees' that PCOS is an intersex variation, there are plenty that do. I'd rather listen to them than some random ass perisex person who can't get over the fact that being intersex isn't some rare footnote for their pro/anti trans activism (because TERFs and perisex trans people both use intersex people against the opposition).

anyways, I am not letting discourse get in the way of enjoying queerness and being a part of the community. I love being transmasc, I love being genderqueer, I love being a stud, I love being a bear, I love being a gaybian and aroacespec and m-spec. I love being vaguely transfem and having my intersexuality, autism, and blackness shape my identity as a whole. I love having xenogenders and using it/its pronouns and neos as an adult. I love existing despite the pushback from others, I love being a source of education and inspiration.

I love being myself.

I'm feeling more comfortable making these kinds of posts again, so:

there will always be masc and male presenting people in lesbian spaces. there will always be fem and female presenting people in gay spaces. that's how it's always been, and that's how it always will be. the more you insist on kicking us out of spaces that we belong in, the more you hurt multigender, GNC, genderqueer, and even intersex people. you making assumptions about that person with a beard in a sapphic bar will forever be more harmful than a genderqueer person just existing in said space. I loathe the fact that this is a reactionary take, I really do, because to be queer is to not conform to boxes and shit. but the moment you cross the 'out of the box' boxes, it's a problem to some people.

that said, I don't want this post to end on a negative note, so I wanted to include the experience I had at a pride event yesterday. I approached a booth advertising a sapphic meetup event, and despite my beard and overall masculine appearance, they did not turn me away. I didn't feel particularly judged, either. I was actually nervous to approach the booth, because it's just been ingrained in me through a bunch of online discourse that I am forever unwelcome in sapphic spaces, due to my gender identity and presentation. but that's not true, at least not in real life. I hope this helps other people like me remember that we do have a place in these spaces, because we don't deserve to be made to feel otherwise.

I don't use my blog for queer discussion that much anymore because I become unfathomably angry whenever I discuss certain queer topics, but if your idea of what makes something not intersex is the variation mostly (or even exclusively) being seen in 'females' or 'males', you've successfully outed yourself as intersexist. I don't care anymore, it's just intersexist to go, 'oh, that's not intersex because the person is female', because do you just assume being intersex has to mean mixed genitals? that's what it sounds like. being intersex isn't just some secret third sex, it encompasses variations in males and females alike. I feel like a broken record.

I can literally make a post talking about how PCOS is reduced to broken female disorder when it's valid as an intersex variation, and I'll still get some moron proving my point about how it's reduced to broken female disorder in the comments. I am so tired lmfao, this is why I don't bother with discourse anymore. the jokes write themselves.